WLS Causes Thick Skin???

Bob L.
on 9/30/08 4:14 am - Clarksville, TN

I've wondered have you developed thick skin after WLS. All of us at one time or another have encountered unsolisted, uninformed and sometimes mean spirited comments about WLS. So how do you deal with it?

(deactivated member)
on 9/30/08 5:16 am - Sevierville, TN

RNY on 02/05/09

I haven't had surgery yet but my skin is getting thicker all the time. I haven't been hesitant to tell anyone about my plans for surgery and of course there are varied reactions. Some people choose not to tell everyone but I don't like to hide things. I have probably lost a very good friend over the surgery but I can't help that. I guess she is okay with me as long as I'm heavy but she hasn't called me since I told her my plans. She has gained weight during the past couple of years and though she isn't nearly as heavy as me, I think she prefers to have me heavier than her. I don't know that for sure. I just suspect it because she doesn't call and wont talk about the surgery when I call her. I think I developed a thick skin about things when my weight got really up there. Not that things don't hurt me now and again but that I don't let it show. I have gotten used to the stares and the comments from rude teens, especially the skinny teen girls. It is very painful to go through life with your heart on your sleeve. I've learned in my 44 years to keep that heart under guard. WLS seems to be just another things that folks can rag on. Let 'em rag. If your life is better, that is all that counts.
Blessings,
Karen

Bob L.
on 9/30/08 6:36 am - Clarksville, TN

RNY on 04/01/08

Karen thanks for jumping in.

BamaBob54
on 9/30/08 7:33 am - Meridianville, AL

RNY on 04/28/08

I already had thick skin before my surgery. When someone questions my weight loss surgery, I try to determine the spirit that it is presented. If they are truly curious about the process, I am happy to explain what my experience has been thus far. However, if they are judgmental and condescending in their remarks, I blow them off, walk away, and try not to let them get me riled.

Example: A lady at work has been dieting for the last 15+ years. She loses 20 pounds, gains back 25. Loses 15 lbs., gains back 20, etc. She is now over 220 lbs. (she weighed 130 pounds 15 years ago.) When she first heard I was having the surgery, she came and told me about her cousin who had the surgery 5 years ago, lost 100+ pounds, and has gained it all back plus 25 more pounds. She let me know she thought I was making a big mistake. I thanked her for the concern and told her I was having the surgery at the advice of my cardiologist and my family physician.

Another lady at work is MO and makes snide remarks when I am around about people "doing things that are not natural to lose weight instead of doing it the "right" way". I just smile, ask her if she's lost any weight lately, and walk away. Makes her fuming mad that I will not argue with her.

BamaBob54 ROLL TIDE!!!
[IMG]http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e82/BamaVulcan04/2661045004_3d63fb2244.jpg[/IMG]
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(deactivated member)
on 9/30/08 7:42 am - Sevierville, TN

RNY on 02/05/09

Good for you, Bob for taking the high road. I would have a hard time working with people like that. You have a cooler head than me if someone were outright rude enough to say something like that to me. I've had that reaction from people online, like at my diabetes group, but not in person yet.
Blessings,
Karen

Bob L.
on 9/30/08 10:26 am - Clarksville, TN

RNY on 04/01/08

Bama I'm sure your smiling all the time! Good for you.. Bob

melsreturn
on 9/30/08 8:18 am - Madison, TN

RNY on 10/10/06

I dont have thick skin. I never have. I wish I did. Sometimes when I get my feelings hurt, it makes me want to run away, hide, and never be vulnerible to anyone ever again. I wish I could say "to he** with the world" and just live on an island sometimes. That way at least no one could get to your heart and hurt you with their stinging words. But then, I've tried that route and it hurts me in the end, worst than the stinging words. I have to be "me" as one lady put it so well recently, and being closed off just isn't who I am. I want to be open with folks. But thats in general and you are speaking of wls in particular.

I'm like BamaBob, in that if someone asks and has a curiosity, I can talk all day on the subject. But if they are being negative, I just tell them that it was the best thing I ever did for myself, and that I work very hard on my success even today, that its still a journey that I will embark on the remainder of my life. They will do what is best for them, but as for me, I made the decision that was right for me. I don't get my feelings hurt in that area of my life as I believe in this surgery THAT MUCH. It's the other areas where I get my feelings hurt. When it comes to my health, I really couldn't give a crap what others think and why they think I should not have chosen the surgery. But I think thats a positive way to look at it... for once, I'm taking care of myself...

Bob L.
on 9/30/08 10:32 am - Clarksville, TN

RNY on 04/01/08

Darn Mel maybe you should be that *****y in every aspect of life.
I really couldn't give a crap what others think and why they think I should not have chosen the surgery. Good for you!! C'ya Bob

Nsg4Him
on 9/30/08 9:12 am - Sevierville, TN

RNY on 12/21/07

I think you almost have to development a thick skin to some degree. Everytime I go into the hospital for a meeting dozens of people comment on how great I look and stuff. Some even say I don't need to lose anymore. But...the heavy ones often are the ugly ones. One lady who I don't really know well has gained about 30-40 pounds since I have had surgery. When I come into a room, she gets up and walks out. It is very obvious that it is me, she will stop in mid sentence and get up and leave! I have just learned to ignore it. I am happy with it and my husband is delirious and my daughter is thrilled and that is all that matters to me.

Now, if you want to talk about developing "Pleated" skin, I've got that too!!! LOL

Marilyn

Marilyn
Smoky Mountain Obesity and WLS Support Group
1/17 6:30 LeConte Medical Center

Bob L.
on 9/30/08 10:35 am - Clarksville, TN

RNY on 04/01/08

Marilyn, You know whats important and remember obesity is on the surface ugly goes to the bone!!!! Thanks for your $.02 Bob

WLS Causes Thick Skin???

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WLS Causes Thick Skin???