I'm sorry......and this is kinda long
I want to apologize for anything that I said, or done to upset anyone. We all need each other for support, encouragment, suggestions, etc. that is what this board is for. That is why all of the hospitals, well at least Baptist highly recomend this board.
During these last few days, I have spent time with relatives that I had not seen in over 20 years. Since most of them had not seen my before WLS, they had no idea how heavy I had gotten. But, I had pictures to show them so now they know how far I have come with this and they are all so proud of me. I could not have done this without this board. One of the pictures that I have been showing was my very first Dinner Club event, we all looked so happy. That anniversary is coming up in Oct, if any of you have a picture of that night, take it out, take a look at it, and just see how far ALL of us have come. I have also gotten back in contact with my brother that I had not seen since 1984 when I was in a car accident and he and his wife came to the hospital to see me. We have the same dad but different mom's. Rhea, always seemed to have issues growing up with everything and just didn't feel like he fit in with anyone in the family. He always kept distand with the family and that is why we have not been in contact. I had tried so many times over the past to find him and stay in contact. I would contact him, he would call a few times, then we would get lost again. Because of this happening so many times, I had just given up on trying to have a realationship with him. I hurt so bad when I would get happy when we would be talking and then it would stop. I have been telling my self that I was going to let it go, if he wanted to find me and have a realtionship with me then it was going to be him to make the next move. Ever since Phil learned that I had a brother, he has always wanted to find him and bring us back together. Well that happened this week. Phil researched and found a phone number and a address for him. He made the call to him on Sat and told him about dad's sister passing. They talked for awhile, then Phil asked if I wanted to talk. I could not bring myself to talk to him. I was feeling like ok here we go again, just like all the other times, I didn't want to go thru the hurt again. Phil told him that the reason I didn't want to talk was beacuse I was upset because of my aunt, which was true, but I was mad and hurt at him for what he had done to me in the past. He called Phil yesterday to find out about more of the funeral arrangements, that really did surprise me, but again I did not talk to him. Well, yesterday it happened, we meet again, he told me he was sorry, and that he has missed not being in my life. I had mixed emotions, I cried like a little baby. Yes some of the tears were happy ones, but most of them was beacuse of the hurt that had been done. We exchanged information and said that we are going to stay in touch no matter what. I so want to believe that and in the back of my mind, I'm thinking it won't happen I just hope he proves me wrong. He and his wife are in bad health, his eyesite is awful due to him being a diabetic and his wife has some health problems that limits her to what she can do. But, they are makeing the effort and they did drive down from Whitehouse, TN yesterday to be with us, that was a big step for him. We only got to visit a couple of hours, they had to get back home before it got dark, he doesn't drive, and his wife can not see well at night herself. We took pictures and I will be posting them later in the week for ya'll to see.
So to wrap everything up, I just want to say this. Life is way too short for this much drama over stuff. What has happened, let it go, it's been said and that is that. Some may not be able to forgive and forget as easy as others, but we all need to. I am having a hard time with that right now, with the situation with my brother. So again, I just want to apoligize again for anything that may have hurt someone's feelings, that was not my intention by no means. I am going to give my brother another chance to be in my life, so let's try to do the same thing here. Let's put this all behind us and concentrate on all being friends again and supporting each other that is what this board is for and we can never have too many friends now days.
Sorry this has run so long, ya'll know me, once I get to typing at 3:00 in the morning, I don't know when to stop. We have the funeral this afternoon, and then we will be working tonight and tomorrow night. Probably won't be posting much the next few days. I hope everyone has a great rest of the week and a wonderful weekend. It seem's like the weather is going to catch up with the calendar and turn cooler, I can't wait.
Love Ya'll
Cheryl
Cheryl
First let me just say I accept your apology. In return, I offer my apology as well if anything I said was offensive. But, you were not the cause of all of this mess. There have been frustrations mounting on the board for a very long time, since last Christmas after our Christmas party is when it seemed to begin.
There have been many changes on the board, many new expectations as people all met each other in real life and became friends. This is a problem that the board had never experienced because as someone said, there was anonymity (sp?). With everyone being social and coming together, relationships and expectations were formed. Some of that can be good, but many of us have social problems and so I believe there were unhealthy areas in those relationships. I speak of myself here, no one else, because I prior to surgery I was a person who liked to be alone, with the exception of a small circle of 2 people. The "real life" stuff makes me feel smothered at times and well, I just dont deal well with it. I know too that there are others with different expectations.... and it would be good for each individual (all of us) to look inside and see what it is we need, want from others. And then what? I have no idea! Perhaps we can figure it out together.
In short, what I am trying to say is that it just finally exploded. You just happen to be the one that asked the right question and I guess it just sorta broke the dam. Hopefully we can all get back on track.
Have a great day and don't let anything or anyone destory your day. Love ya
Kathy Kathy Newton
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