Expectations from the board

I've been reading with some dismay the dissention among the ranks of this board. As an almost outsider I am a little disappointed to see things happening here on the Tennessee board as I see happening on the main board at times. No one here knows me well. I don't post a lot and I live far away from most of you. For me, thats okay. I don't mind a little anonymity. I'm a very private person and I get uncomfortable in crowds. As an almost outsider I feel I can see a little of what is going on here. It seems some people have unrealistic expectations for others on this board. We are all human and we each have our own lives to live and sometimes we just don't have enough, emotionally to give others everything they need. Because we are all human, if we expect all our support to come from other humans, we will definitely be disappointed. Getting angry because you feel someone wasn't there for you enough, a stranger from a bulletin board, just doesn't make sense to me. I realize some of you get together and you are now friends but that doesn't change the fact that the only people you can really count on for support is yourself and God. I think some of us are expecting too much from our friends and aquaintances on this board. We each have our own plate and most of our plates are full. It is hard to take on anothers plate too. I'm not saying we shouldn't help and support each other, just that there is a limit to what we can actually do. It has been my experience that there are some people who need so much support that it will never be met. They have never learned to rely on themselves or God. No matter what you do for a person like that, they will still need more. Sometimes there is no more to give. I am not accusing anyone or defending anyone but I think there are a lot of unreasonable expectations here. I hate to see this cause a lot of good people to lash out at each other. We all do what we can and answer the questions we have answers to. What more can we do? Some of you seem to have good relationships with each other. I'm glad for you. It doesn't work out for everyone though. I think I would rather stay a little anonymous. That is not to say that I don't care about each and every one of you, but the whole of you together is  a little overwhelming. I'm not good at dissention or crowds so I think my family and I will forgo the lunch at Marilyn's and Ron's. I hope all the rest of you can overcome the differences and enjoy yourselves. I would rather try to get to know you a few at a time.
Blessings,
Karen

Karen,
I really want you to come.  I don't want something that happened on the Internet to prevent real, literal friendships and support.  There will be NO dissention at my house that day, I promise you!  Nothing but a good time!
Marilyn

Marilyn,
I've been thinking about it and I really want to come. I just want to say though that it is not so much the dissention as it is the number of people who are coming. I really am uncomfortable in a crowd of people. I might seem either shy or stuck up in person  but it is really that I am uncomfortable with a lot of people. I've been kind of a recluse over the past several years. If you can overlook me being a little standoffish I will try to come. There are some special people on this board that I really want to meet and of course, it would be lovely to see you again. Thanks again for the invitation.
Karen

Karen,

Please don't forgo the Lunch at Marilyn's!  I don't know you, but I do know Sunshine's Heart, and am truly looking forward to meeting you. I really don't want you to miss this event.  It will add another support system to you in East Tenn, that we in Middle truly have.

I read every thing that Sunshine's Heart writes, and I understand and feel your pain, happiness, sadness, and I truly want to meet that woman!

Yes, some things have been said, and some feelings have been hurt.  Is all of this reconcilable, I believe so!  In fact, the wheels are turning as we speak to help this situation move forward without burdening and bewildering anyone else!

If you want to, please send me a PM and we can discuss what is going on.  You know how to get in touch with me!

Scott

Scott,
You are one of my very favorite people on the board and I'm looking forward to meeting you and Beth. I have a hard time with crowds though and that is why I'm hesitant. I don't know all that is going on here on the board but I felt that some people were singled out and berated unfairly for not "giving" enough. I know other things are at issue too. I didn't comment on that because I'm not really involved in the Lunch bunch down there, but a dear friend was singled out for criticism and I felt it was not only unfair but spectacularly crass to post the complaints on the board. I hate to see anyone embarrassed like that. I know how I would feel in that person's place. Anyway, I think I will come to the luncheon but please don't think ill of me if I seem a little uncomfortable. It is nothing personal. I have just spent alot of time alone of only with my family and getting together with so many people is just difficult for me. Thanks for you post and I appreciate your reading my blog. I read yours everytime there is a new post too. You always have a good outlook and that is therapy to others.

Blessings,

Karen

Karen

I understand you would be leary of the crowd, but do think that it would be a good experience for you to meet Marilyn and the others.  Perhaps you could go just for an hour, and see how it goes...  stay longer if you feel comfortable, if not then everyone surely will understand if you want to leave.  

Melinda,
Thats exactly what I was thinking. I have met Marilyn and Ron. They are great people and I look forward to seeing them again. My wheelchair provides a little space for me if I decide to bring it. I don't always need it but thought there might be a problem having enough chairs. I can't stand for very long anyway. Thanks for the suggestion.
Blessings,
Karen

Karen:

You seem very perceptive and well spoken.  There is no need to fear meeting the folks on this board.  Honestly, this is a great bunch of people.  The key is to keep it in perspective.  You will find that there is a wealth of information hidden in the people who post here.  The majority of our ranks will not expect anything in return.  We are here to help answer questions from our own experiences with weight loss surgery. 

Have a great day!
Freddie

Freddie,
Thanks for your response. I appreciate you very much. Are you going to be at the luncheon? Will I get to meet you? I would love that. You are very upbeat and that is needed here.
Blessings,
Karen

Shelia,
Girlfriend!  What in the world are you doing up at 1:43 in the morning?  Go to bed!  Get some rest!  I don't have a job or a life, it's different for me right now!
Marilyn