Just my thoughts

You all know that I am usually a clown and like to cut-up and have fun. To me, laughter is usually the best medicine. But in all seriousness, it is a shame that there may be some folks that are researching and considering WLS who will be hurt, in one way or another, by our inabilities to agree to disagree without making it personal, whomever it may be.  What I mean is that this board, along with the Men's Forum, was my #1 source for info during my research and study pre-op. The folks here who had been through the surgery taught me so much about what to expect, what is involved with WLS, the pros and cons of the surgery, what to expect after my surgery, etc. They ALL had something to offer and that I could learn.  Mel, Trina, Scott, Beth, Sheila, Susan, Marilyn, and all of the "regulars", plus newbies like Bob L. really helped me to understand what I was getting into.  If any one of us fail to contribute or post our point of view, then something is truly lost that may be very important to one or more of us or those researching this surgery.

I am not throwing rocks at anyone here, but the thing that makes this board "special" is each and every one of us here. We all have different opinions, viewpoints, ideas, experiences, suggestions, etc. And from this diverse collection of opinions, viewpoints, ideas, experiences, suggestions, etc.  is where the true learning and knowledge comes from.  Everyone here truly has something valuable to offer, not only to the pre-ops, but also to those of us who are post-op. We can all share and learn from one another and our experiences.

With this is mind, I sincerely hope we can all be big enough (no pun intended) to put the good of the group ahead of our own feelings or whatever, and get on with the purpose of this board - SUPPORT and ENCOURAGEMENT FOR ONE ANOTHER and SETTING EXAMPLES for those who follow in our steps on this WLS journey.

Peace to you all, my Tennessee WL Family!! 

AMEN BrotherBamaBob!  But, sometimes when y'all get "fussy" with each other--I really don't notice--maybe because I don't have a "history" with everybody.  So the "newbies" might not realize what is going on!

Well said!!!!

I sit here wondering where to go from here. Truly the board isn't what it used to be, for whatever reasons. It just changed. Somewhat like how the tide of an ocean changes, and there isn't really a way to explain it. You just simply must accept it and go on. But the change this year on the board has been a difficult one for me. It seems that everyone's idea of a support group is different. And this is where I would like to expound just a bit.

#1 To some, its a place to ask questions, to learn, read, research, get help before their surgery so that they are more successful or do things more smoothly and know what to expect. Then after surgery, they will already be eased into a comfortable setting to ask more questions as they have problems occur. This is the group where I can most identify because this is where I fall into... and now, I want to be able to provide information based on knowledge and experience to others who want or need the same.

#2 To others, its a place to fill a void. Perhaps they are homebound, not active and rely heavily upon the words of others on this board to give them assurance or validation. While I cannot relate to this, I have come to realize that there are folks who do rely on the board for this.

#3 To some, its a place to be social. Meeting in person, real life, going out to lunch together, meeting over coffee, wedding showers, baby showers, graduations, birthdays. The focus isn't on the wls particulars, its just getting past that and to the point of relationships.

It's something different to us all. What I think has happened? Where I fit into one category and don't do so well on another, or don't meet others expectations, or if they have not met my expectations, we can get in a tissy. I would rather it be a place of group #1, where people can remain faceless if THEY WISH. I don't like all the "mess" that comes with knowing people in real life and play the games that jr high kids played. One good example is "You're her friend, how come you're not my friend?" Or, "You didn't invite me, you hurt my feelings." These are games that I never played in jr or high school and to be honest, the social crap just plain sucks.

So when I realized that mostly it had become more of a social board, I stopped posting. I have noticed that Susan wasn't here as much also because #1, she's suffered with depression and #2 she has a new job. So people's questions mostly go unanswered unless someone pm's them with the answers.

Yes the board has changed. Maybe we are all at fault because we each have different expectations, and have felt left out, let down, or just plain afraid to post. That's my thought on the matter, for whatever its worth, and now I am left asking "Where to from here?" Do I continue, or do I leave? I know others ask themselves the same question.

As for the issues between Shelia and myself, those things should have been done in private. I will not comment to those things as I have not commented in the past when misunderstandings have been present on the board.

My two cents (which due to the economy really isn't worth that),  I came to this board because the main board was so catty.  It seemed as if people were just waiting for you to post so they could jump on it and pick it all apart.  This board hasn't gotten that bad yet, but if we let it go it will.  I don't post often, but I do read several times a day and if I feel I can add then I do.  So my suggestion is read the post, if you feel like you can constructively add do so, if you feel the need to be catty, wait til tomorrow and re-read when you can be more objective.  I can testify that we sometimes say thing in the heat of the moment that we later regret. 

I am sure we are all adults here and agree that these childish games should be kept in childhood.  As overweight teens we were subjected to way too much of this crap back then and I refuse to be subjected to it now.

If you see a post from someone who usually ****** you off then just move right on by it without reading it.

darlene