I GAINED weight
This support forum is a place where we can share our experiences where wls is concerned, and I hope that we can each learn from one another. Even if we may not have experienced certain aspects of the journey, perhaps there may be a day when we will need to know the info for when we do experience it, or pass it on to someone else who is in the situation now. I wanted to share something about myself. It's been on my mind for awhile now. And to preface it, the title "gained weight" is not a negative thing. It's a good thing!
I'm 5'4. I was 251 lbs when I started this journey. Lord, I lived a lie so many years. It's a good thing those sins are cast into the sea of forgetfulness cause I told people all my obese years that I was big boned. I never knew, and who else knew, I had a tiny bone structure??? (I should have known since at birth I weighed 5 lbs, 4 ozs. but how could I remember) So does that count as a sin if I was ignorant and told lies? Hmmm there is a moral dilemma that we may never answer! LOL
My lowest weight was 116 lbs. As I lay in the emergency room bed during last year's kidney stone attack, I felt afraid for the first time that my weight might be too low. Now keep in mind that when I looked into the mirror, I still saw Fat Melinda. Skinny Melinda was still coming around very slowly in my mind's eye, but for the most part, I was still that good ole girl who weighed 251. So as I laid there on the hospital gurney, I thought "If I were to get sick, Lord forbid, but if I did, I have no body fat to live on." I told Tim that day in the room that I was scared and needed to gain some weight. Who on earth says that after losing so much?
The scales continued to be my god until just a few months ago... each day whether I was happy or sad in my journey was determined by the magic number. 118, 119, 123, 121, 118, up and down up and down. I knew that if it ever got up to 125, oh my heavens! We would surely have a major catastrophe on our hands! And then we must surely break out the protein shakes for a major 3 day liquid protein train!
Recently, my weight has shifted from 121 as the low, 125 as the high. Once when I was VERY constipated, it was 127. OH Heavens! But I was ok. I was calm.. I was not worried. I felt great. I even like my bumps and curves. I like my new blue jeans. I like my clothes fitting well now. I don't have gaps in the backs of my pants at the band because they actually FIT good.
Why do I share this? Because I want you to know that sometimes things swing the other direction. We can actually lose a little too much and need to gain a little. I am right in the center of where my bmi needs to be for healthy. Before it was on the low side. Not unhealthy, just low. But now my head has mostly caught up with my body and I can almost see myself as thin... at times I don't FEEL thin but that's another story entirely!
Also, kidney stones are not caused by too much protein being consumed at one time. Kidney DAMAGE can result from someone who already has kidney disease taking in too much protein on a regular basis. For someone with healthy kidneys, we would be looking at 300 - 400 grams of protein per day to cause kidney damage.
Kidney stones in women are most often caused by dehydration, excess calcium (in our case taking calcium carbonate will also contribute), and low acidity of the urine. I have gotten this information first hand from my urologist due to frequent kidney stones pre-op. I now take a medication to raise the acidity level of my urine to prevent stones.
Second, we talk about everything on this forum from the texture, color and frequency of our poos to the off color jokes that are posted. Everything on here is geared to an adult audience. If something offends you, don't read it. There are others who visit this board who are helped by those who talk of very personal issues. We don't know who is dealing with those same issues and will be helped to know someone else shares their struggle and how they cope with it. Melinda is every inch a lady!!
Third, Melinda has NEVER put anyone in the middle of anything with someone else. You are the one who made a private matter public and that is all I will say on here about that.
You say you admire people, act like it instead of coming on here with backhanded compliments that are meant to cause conflict!
Susan (AKA bilsrib)
300/135/135 - Plastics February 2008 - Dr. Lois Wagstrom
P E A C E - It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.
I did not mean to imply that kidney stones were caused from low body weight. Actually, the urologist said that they were caused from dehydration. It's something that I work on daily but I don't get in enough fluids. I fully admit that on my part , which is a bad postop. Being in the hospital kinda gets a person to thinking how valuable and fragile life is.. whether its a splinter or heart surgery. Hospitals just have that affect on me when I have to be a patient there.
I did want to say in response to your post Trina, that I am me. I cannot help if people take me wrong. I try to NOT post when I'm on my period because I get my feelings hurt very easily. It is no surprise to anyone here that I have hormone problems. I am very public about it, perhaps at the stake of being too vulnerable and open. However, I receive numerous emails from people on THIS TN forum by folks who lurk and never post how my words help them. They too suffer with PCOS, PMDD, and they are told that wls is a cure for it. It's not always a cure. Sometimes it amplifies problems. Sometimes it can benefit the patient, but I am very honest about my struggles. To be even more vulnerable to you and the board, at times I struggle with depression and have fought the fact that I need a mild antidepressant 10 days before my period to help me cope with what my body is experiencing. If anyone notices, I'm usually very quiet or short in my responses during "that time of month". And, should I have read your post a few days ago, I would have had one of two reactions:
1. Being so upset with you that I would have cussed, ranted and blasted, perhaps hurting your feelings which I do not want to do to anyone
2. Had my feelings hurt so much that it led into an anxiety attack
But luckily the PMS/PMDD has passed and I am once again coping with things like a logical and healthy individual. My openness has caused me to receive criticism. But I made myself a promise a long time ago. It's this: I will be honest. I will validate what others think and feel and allow them to know they are not unhealthy but very normal in their experiences. Even at the risk of being blasted, I will let my voice continue to speak. I can only be "the me" that I am. If/when I offend, I am always quick to apologize, such as recently when I offended StuckNTx and I was so sorry to have done that. I don't want to be a stumbling block or offense to anyone, and sometimes, even as hard as I try, I don't say things the way I want or need to.... but quick to say "I'm sorry."
I want to address the issue of people putting me on a pedestal. I FAIL MISERABLY. I never asked to be catapulted onto any platform. I didn't do anything special to be where I am. I just followed my surgeon's rules, and was truly inspired by protein divas who gave me so much knowledge and training that I am forever grateful to them. I get up each day, still a victim of "obesity", still struggle with NOT seeing Fatty Girl there in MY mirror.... putting my pants legs on one at a time. I am just me. That's all I can ever expect of myself. I know if I fail myself, I surely must fail others as well. But I get up every day and hope that I can keep on keepin' on... and thank God for his grace.
The time that I posted about running around the house naked was a funny story which did actually happen, though it was a very frightening experience for me at the time. I suffered from reactive hypoglycemia (which I now have AFTER having wls) and had no control of what I was doing. I retold the story because the cause was health related, reactive hypoglycemia, which I have since my wls (and hypoglycemia). I do not feel that I share inappropriate material about my and Tim's relationship. I have seen offensive material on this site and when it first started occurring, I was very offended. I finally had to learn to ignore/avoid it because it was not relevant to the board. My story was relevant, at least.
Tim reads my website; he states often how proud he is of me and that I help other women. He has never been offended, and I ask him often if I can post certain situations. I would not do that otherwise if I felt it would violate his wishes. Many women also email me questions and comments because I do post about how my relationships have changed since wls, specifically not having a boyfriend pre wls and now having a very serious & committed one with someone I love. I think that these issues need to be addressed as well, for while you are married and obesity never stole that opportunity from you, there are many like me who did have that stolen from them. In many ways, we are just now learning the social skills with men.
Way to go Mel be proud of your self as I am very proud I know this was a tremendous step for you and you did it! I cant wait to get home so we can hang out, Maybe we can go to the WLS group together. Any way do not let others tear your progress down they only do it to make themselves seem bigger/better as a matter fact most of us see straight through it and just laugh it off or smile at how ridiculous they are.
Probably raise a lot of money!! 
ROLL TIDE!!!
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