War on Normal Tummies?

I had something else on my mind and I had to ask if anyone else has experienced this. As as gastric bypass patient have you ever encountered people who knew you before you had surgery who seem to think that just because you have a smaller stomach means that you can't or won't enjoy fine foods and dining? Like it just shocks them that even though you will need a doggie bag and you may still not finish eating something that you would still pay a large amount for such a fine cuisine like Red lobster? My husband feel into this effect recently, he asked me why order something if he'll end up taking it to lunch with him the next day and I just had to remind him that although I have a small tummy I still like good food and if anything my taste buds have changed and advanced since surgery so now I seem to crave finer and purer foods. And I also had to remind  him that this was a woman who could once eat his and mine plate in one swoop and still be hungry an hour or two later. Or have you had people think that if you leave something that you didn't finish then they assume that its there for the taking? My husband was bad at doing this when we first married. If I left something on the counter he would assume that I didnt want it anymore and would eat it. It would drive me nuts. I had to explain the him that the new me doesn't scarf down sweeties and things anymore and that this isn't a race of "better get to it before she eats it all" anymore, things here now have a longer shelf life. He started to gain weight because he was so used to this battle and now the only person that he had to worry about getting to the sweeties was himself. Now he will nibble what I leave but he wont dare finish off that last priceless morsel:laughing:  Or have you had people that you know who are still overweight who tease you because they can eat something like an entire large dominos on their own and you can't? I had this happen one time right after surgery and it didn't phase me one bit because they were going to have to deal with the weight gain, not me..haha. And when I dared them to try my new eating habits they learned that it wasn't so bad and they physically started to feel better.  And have you found yourself cooking for normal tummy folks and realizing how much more the can eat? In comparision it feels like my husband is eating me out of a house and home at times although he eats healthy just like me but bigger portions. So if you've ever experienced this what seems like a war of the "normal" tummies I'd love to hear your experiences.  I don't know about them but I enjoy the way I eat now. I like eating dainty and before I got married and my husband and I lived together I saved so much money because I didnt buy as much food as I did before surgery.

First, Maharet its good to see you again.  It has been a long time.  Actually my experience is a little different.  My boyfriend, Tim, says I push food off on him.  I am always asking, "Do you want this?"  I think the reason is because I was taught, "You don't waste food."  That mentality is ingrained in my mind, kinda like you clean the plate...I especially feel guilty when he has taken me out for supper and I can't eat what I have ordered.  Food is expensive!  So, I am always trying to get him to eat it, not letting it go to waste. Another experience I find myself in is the thought that supper consists of salad, vegetable, and a meat.  Of course in restaurants, the salad is always given first.  I find that if I eat too much of this while waiting for my supper, I can't eat my protein like I need to.  I should ask "Please bring the salad with my meal" but I don't.  I need to! Tim & I now share meals.  When I really want my own, (we go to Longhorn a LOT) I  get a child's grilled chicken plate.  I have found that I am more sensitive to taste and enjoy foods much more than I used to.  I remember the days when I just threw it in my mouth and swallowed it.  I didn't ENJOY food...  I CONSUMED food.  But now I enjoy the spices, the flavor, I had a bite of steak and could taste the grill and smokiness from the cooking.  The fat in it gave it just the perfect flavor and that was only one bite.  I don't normally eat steak but will have a bite of Tim's...  (back to food sharing). I do have people who look at me thinking, "Are you supposed to eat that?"  I purchased a Starbucks hard plastic double insulated cup and each morning I put my protein drink in it.  I have had a few people look at me as if to say "why do you drink Starbucks?"  I just say, what they don't know won't hurt me.  I let them have their opinions because I know I follow the rules.  Another thing are people at work.  They don't see me eat very much and worry about me.  But, I eat early (11) each day and they don't come up to the offices til noon when I am done eating.  So they never see me eat and think I don't!!  We had a luncheon the other day at work.  One lady asked, "You ARE going to eat, aren't you?" in a concerned tone.  I said of course, but my portions are much different than theirs...people just do not understand my "diet" (and I dont mean a lose weight diet...  but use that word in the place of "my new wls way of eating")  but I understand it, others in the gastric community understand it, and while their opinions really don't matter, I just find that I am silent unless they specifically ask about my eating patterns....

Great post Maharet! Let me add another "War on Normal Tummies".  Yesterday, my family visited some relatives that we had not seen since the year 2000, when my grandmother died.  Well, all week long the emails and phone messages were flying back and forth, about what food my wife, my sister and I could eat?  All 3 of us have had weight loss surgery in the last year.  Now I understand that everyone was being very sensitive to our needs, but give me a break!  When my Uncle said it once again, I politely told him that this was a lifestyle change and not a diet.   I understand our diets have changed since Pre-surgery, and yes, we can not eat a whole pizza in one setting.  But, I look at this as a lifestyle change.  I feel if this was a diet, I would fail just as I did in the past..  I respectfully and politely said, "We will be able to find something to eat, so don't worry, we will be OK!" The second thing that gets me is when people say, "Is that all you are gonna eat"?  My Aunt looked at my plate yesterday and said, "You need to get more food, you're a growing boy".  I laughed and told her ,"I probably would not be able to eat all of this".  I guess she stills looks at me a that little boy who always went back for 3rd and 4 th plates!  My how times have changed! So, yes, we do fight that war with "Normal Tummies".

Hi, everyone... Thanks for responding to both of my posts Scott and Mel... you guys are the sweetest. Anyway, im glad that im not the only one. Just like Mel I did notice for a sec that I was pushing some of my leftovers off onto my husband so he started thinking that if I left something then I was done with it. I forgot that he has a normal stomach and can gain weight a lot easier. So I broke myself of that habit very quickly and he quit eating my leftovers. And I now taste food and see it for what its really worth. I realized that for years I would litterally just swallow half chewed pieces of food and wouldn't have really even tasted it.   And I can relate to Scott in that here I am pregnant and everyone was like " Oh my God! that baby's gonna starve." " Are you sure he is growing okay?"  My mom lives out of state and she came to visit me and she would say the same things, " you've gotta eat more, you're eating for 2 now". She would drive me nuts in that she  wanted an entire different menu from how we eat so that consisted of ordering take out for them while she was here. She told me that our food was too "busy" and fancy and she swore that every little thing was gonna make her sick, even regular tap water! So my husband and I took her to a Golden Coral figuring that she could have a more pick of what she'd like to eat... Boy did that backfire she had the nerve to complain about how everything makes her fat and then she stole butter packets and extra splenda claiming that I have no real butter to put more fat on me at home! I wanted to DIE! Then, I took her to one of my doctors appointments and she thought it was important for her to alert the doctor that I was a GB patient and that the doc should encourage me to eat more. I was livid! The doctor just looked at her crazy. Then she kept interrupting the doctor asking all kinds of dumb questions. Needless to say I couldn't wait to send her back to Ohio.  I hate it when people say "well with your new diet, I didn't know if you can eat this." How does a smaller portion cause so much confusion? I think sometimes people see how little I can eat and a part of them may feel bad for all the food that they are about to scarf down.

With both Beth and myself having surgery, it's RJ (our 10 year old) that says, "Are you gonna eat that?"  We usally answer no, and niether are you!  LOL!!!