New Diet

The new Purina diet ------------------- I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Duh! On impulse, I told her that, no, I was going to go on the Purina diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time. However, I'd actually lost 50 pounds before I woke up in the ICU with monitors and tubes everywhere, and IV needles in both my arms. I told her that it was a very easy diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purses with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is "nutritionally" complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her. Horrified, she asked me if something in the dog food had poisoned me and is that why I ended up in the hospital. I said: "no...I was sitting in the road licking my butt when a car hit me!" I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door he was laughing so hard.

Girlfriend you are wicked. Dog food indeed. Although I have heard of the elderly eating it, just so they could afford to buy their medicine. But to tell that lady that you eat it to lose weight, on that one. It's like the country song "where's your sign" referring to being stupid. I'll have to remember that one. Have fun tomorrow with the get together. Off to night girl, love Kathy

This was sent to me this morning by one of the dept. heads on campus. I laughed so hard I was crying! Just picturing the expressions on everyone's faces. I wish I could think fast enough to come up with a zinger to some of the silly questions people ask. It is like Ron White's "Here's your sign" stories. Whether this really happened or not, I thought it was hilarious.

You go. I do believe they could use the "here's your sign" I am going to use your line then next time someone asked me if I have cats or dogs. I think I would love to see what they do. My luck I'll get booted out of the store. But it is still worth a try. Keep the lines coming in ,that was a good laugh i needed. Thanks. Your friend, Tina Cannon