HELP I'm melting.....

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!!! Just thought I would send you a note on this special day since you are such a special woman. Thanks for sharing your story, it really does help. You know when I was in High School I weighed around a 110 most of the time and then with my first child I gained over 60 pds. I know sounds crazy but I did and from there I just ballooned up and stayed that way. Over the last couple of years it has become so much harder with all this weight and the health issues that have come up. I feel really bad. One thing that has bothered me the most is my best friend had a baby one year ago and I wanted to help her out and be there for her but I could only do so much. In shame I was so embarassed to even tell her I didn't think I could handle the baby. It was devastating to me. I always loved to help out with people and especially the ones I loved most. So, now I have missed out on some precious times. Now, the baby is one and I can't even run after him. He is so adorable and I love him to death but I wish I was able to do more. That is one of the most important things to me-to be able to do things with family and friends as you have said. I bet that is so amazing to be able to do those things that you hadn't in so long. Stay strong and know that you are loved by many!!! Love, Julie

Hi Julie, The one thing I love is being able to get into my van and need to pull the seat forward. Before I couldn't and I have short arms and legs, but the stomach kept getting in the way, now I have to move the seat up more just to reach the pedals and the steering wheel. There are so many things that you will notice that you can do after surgery that you can't do now. Every day you will notice that as you lose you gain in strength. That you will be able to do more then before. Write down what you can't do now, then after surgery write down what you can do. Write down what you want to accomplish the most after surgery and make that your goal to work towards. I'm going to lay down and rest, I didn't sleep much last night and was up early today. Then our cookout. I am worn out. Had a lot of food to get rid of. I knew I would never be able to eat it all. I need to freeze the hot dog sauce, but I guess it's going to have to go in a zip lock back. There's a lot of it and I can't eat it all plus it has hamburger in it. So I'll freeze it for the next cookout. I did real good and didn't over do myself. I had three bites of boneless skinless chicken that had been soaking in Italian dressing for 24 hours. Then put on the grill, it's so juicy. I had one bite of grilled fish. One bite of my potatoe salad, and one bite of cole slaw. I didn't eat any hot dogs or hamburgers. We had a lot of fun, Peggy another wLs friend lives near me came over with her two kids and one that she babysits for. Her husband didn't come so we made him up a plate to take home to him. I am going to lay down, I am beat. Love Kathy

Kathy, Glad to hear you had a great time today. I am sure it did take a lot out of you. Make sure you do rest plenty. It sure sounds like you have the diet under control. My family surprised me and took me out to eat at my favorite-RED LOBSTER! I don't get to go very often-too pricey!! I sure did enjoy it!!!! But, you know I will be able to eat some of this after my surgery a few weeks down the road.... Anyways, I am gonna run. My cold is a lot better and my BP is better but still watching it but, I need to keep getting all the rest I can so I can fully get better and be ready for this surgery coming up. I sure wish I had someone close to me that I could get together with. I may find someone at some of the upcoming group meetings-of course I know God will send someone my way. Have faith and God will provide all of our needs. Talk with you soon. Love, Julie

Remember it's not the diet, it's a tool to use to help you lose weight, but it can't work unless you use it. Eat what your Dr. or nutrionist says, just in small qualities. Chew throughly before swollowing. Always eat protein first, then any thing else that is healthy for you. Hoping your cold goes away quick and that your blood pressure stays low. I want for you to have this surgery. I want for you to experience what I have. Gaining back your self-esteem, to really love you, to see what you have accomplished with this tool. I know you will love the new you. It isn't just the weight you will lose or the inches that will dissolve from proper eating and working out. This is for life. But you will find you the you inside that gains her confidence in herself. The you inside that realizes she loves herself inside. The beauty from within will come out. We don't realize it but we lose ourselves because of the weight, the lack of respect, the looks from strangers, the judging from others. Now I LOVE me, and if you can't love yourself inside and out, then it's harder to love others with all your being. Have a good day, I need to put my shoes on so I can work out on my Gazelle. I didn't make it this morning to my gym to work out. I was too worn out from yesterday. So I am working out at home. Love Kathy

Kathy, Remember not to overdo it. You know you made me stop and think about a lot of things with what you said. You are so right, we do lose ourselves behind all this weight. I remember years ago being so happy all the time. I can't wait to feel better and be happier and be myself again. Until next time.... Love, Julie

Congratulations Skinny!! I'm so proud of you and the bright days you bring to this message board through your warm personality. You've helped many of us through some rough bumps in this journey. God bless!

Hi Suzzie, thank you. Not skinny yet but sure getting there fast. This board is just people, they are my support line, they're family, and friends. They give me more support then they can imagine. I just help and give back what this board has done for me over the last 2 years. I love each and every one on this site. Some I have met, and would love to meet more. I would love to have a get together with everyone but I don't know right now where to start at. But wait until Monday with my blonde brain goes away and I can think. I try not to unbalance my blonde brain trying to think after 5pm on Monday, it gives me a head ache. My son and Daughter-n-love are here with their 18 month son for Mother's day. They were shocked to see me and to even see me just get down on the floor with my grandson, as I have been in a power wheelchair for almost 3 years. But to get down on the floor with no pain or needing help back up simply amazed them. To cross my legs without having to grab my leg to pull it over the other. My son hasn't seen me this small in a long time. I loved the look on their faces. They brought their digital camera and cam corder to take plenty of pictures. So I hope to be putting a new one on the board soon. You just wait, your moment of glory will come, and for Dr.'s and nurses to give you a hug is well worth it all. I wish you well, May God travel with you on your new journey. Love Kathy