An Open Letter to Those who think WLS is 'Easy'

I know that I'm not the only one that has gotten a negative reaction from people who have found out about my weight loss. I foudn this on another forum and thought hat I would share it here. Pardon the language. An Open Letter to Those who think WLS is 'Easy' Tell me, oh Skinny-Minnie, Holier-than-the-Fat- just what is 'easy' about WLS? Is the 'easy' part that we are asleep for the actual surgery? Would you feel we have had it tough enough to suit you if we remain awake during the procedure? Perhaps the privilege of a realistic chance at permanent weight loss should be paid for by foregoing the anesthesia? Is the 'easy' part the ugly incision with the countless shiny staples? Maybe bailer twine would be an option? Is the 'easy' part the drugs we're given to help control the pain? Maybe the pain should experienced for having 'let ourselves go'? Is the 'easy' part that we get to enjoy an all liquid diet for weeks on end, or is it preparing a meal for the whole family and then putting a couple of tablespoons through the blender for ourselves? Is the 'easy' part rediscovering on a daily basis what makes us puke? Or is it the part about never knowing from one time to another what might 'come back up' on us? Is the 'easy' part leaving behind a lifetime of learned behavior and reshaping our basic perceptions, attitudes, and our lives from the ground level? Is the 'easy' part listening to people like you preaching the gospel while you sin in front of us (relax, it's just a metaphor for YOUR eating patterns)? Is the 'easy' part committing permanently to a lifetime of moderation, or the part about paying the price with violent vomiting if we should ever forget for a moment our limitations? Is the 'easy' part exercising like a fiend to get past plateaus and get to goal weight? Or is the 'easy' part having the extra skin sewn off (oh yippee, MORE scalpel time) so we can be more comfortable? Jealous of that plastic surgery gig? Does having abdominoplasty remind you that -your- pot tummy won't just go away either? Is the 'easy' part feeling the shift in the comfort level of others or politely fielding all the intrusive personal questions when someone finds out we're having or have had WLS? Is the 'easy' part knowing that people are talking about us behind our backs (some kindly, but also plenty clucking and gossiping in a derogatory manner)? Is the 'easy' part being the butt of jokes and humiliating laughter? Maybe it's you who is happier with some people feeling justified in being cruel and nasty to/about the fattie? I'll tell you what -I- think is the 'easy' part! The easy part is choosing to go ahead with what I know is best for me now that I have made the decision to listen to my OWN feelings about my body. I'm still working on tuning out your hurtful, hateful remarks but I'm not going to let you undermine my confidence either. The easy part is remembering that you have little or no experience or knowledge on which to base your opinion. I'm still working on forgiving you for feeling entitled to chastise and/or warn me about how wrong I am despite the fact that you know exactly 'jack****'. The easy part is envisioning the 'new & improved' me, rediscovering what life has to offer, and not being afraid of reaching out for all of it. I'm still working on forgiving you for feeling justified in seeing only the fat where there is a human being with a radiant soul. I know for sure that I'll get to that point though.... How about you, do you possibly have anything to work on? signed, Me

I can't believe how on target this letter is. Thanks for sharing it. Susann

that is awesome, I want to forward it to my office

That is awesome. It states exactly how I feel. Thanks for sharing. Wendy fowler

I need to print this and leave it on a few co-workers desks!!

I AM SO AMAZED AT HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE HAD PEOPLE BE MEAN TO YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE HAD WLS. BLOW THEM OFF & JUST KEEP THOSE WHO ARE SUPPORTIVE IN YOUR LIFE, MS STEPHANIE. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME ON THEM. YOU ARE TAKING A HUGE RISK MEDICALLY TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE & ARE A STRONG ENOUGH PERSON TO NEVER GIVE UP UNTIL YOU FOUND A SOLUTION TO YOUR WEIGHT CHALLENGES. DON'T LOWER YOURSELF TO THEIR VERY LOW LEVEL! THEY ARE SO FAR BENEATH YOU THAT THEY'D HAVE TO DIG UP OUT OF THE MUCK TO FIND THE BOTTOM OF YOUR SHOES! SO, IGNORE THEM & BE HAPPY THAT YOU ARE LOSING WEIGHT & GETTING HEALTHY & ABLE TO ENJOY LIFE MORE FULLY. THOSE ARE THE BLESSINGS YOU SHOULD FOCUS ON! BLESSINGS FOR STRENGTH & PEACE DAWN & NICK

WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! Thanks for sharing that Kylee...I'm going to share this with a friend of mine...maybe then she'll understand my decision...and if not...oh well! Hugs from Greenville, Tonya

OH BOY ... A DIFFERENT OPINION - NO DISRESPECT INTENDED ... WHY DO WE GIVE SO MUCH POWER TO DISRESPECTFUL, NEGATIVE, NASTY PEOPLE? THEY DON'T HAVE ANY POWER UNTIL WE GIVE IT TO THEM & THE WAY WE DO THAT IS TO ALLOW THEM TO ANGER US JUST AS THE AUTHOR OF THIS LETTER IS ANGERED. PEOPLE LIKE THE PERSON BEING WRITTEN TO ARE IGNORANT BULLIES WHO ABUSE OTHERS WITH THEIR CRUELTY. IT SEEMS THE BEST WAY TO HANDLE THIS IS TO BLOW THEM OFF ... IGNORE THEM ... REFUSE TO ALLOW THEM ANY PLACE IN OUR LIVES. I REALIZE THAT THERE COMES A TIME WHEN THE NUMBER OF CRUELTIES OR THE INTENSITY OF THE CRUELTY CALLS FOR US TO FIGHT BACK & MAYBE THIS IS WHERE THIS PERSON FOUND HERSELF WHEN SHE WROTE THIS LETTER. 100 PEOPLE CAN COMPLIMENT US BUT IF 1 PERSON CRITIZES US, THAT IS WHAT WE, AS HUMAN BEINGS, SEEM TO FOCUS ON - THE NEGATIVE. LETS VALUE OURSELVES ENOUGH TO FOCUS ON THE 100 GOOD PEOPLE &, ALTHOUGH WE TRY TO FORGIVE THE 1, JUST REMOVE THEM FROM OUR LIVES UNTIL THEY LEARN TO ACT IN A SOCIALLY GRACIOUS MANNER. THERE IS NO LAW THAT SAYS WE HAVE TO ALLOW ANYONE, EVEN RELATIVES, IN OUR LIVES TO ABUSE US. THE KEY WORD IS "NO," ... "NO, I WON'T ALLOW YOU TO ABUSE ME ANY LONGER." NOT RELATED TO OBESITY, BUT NICK & I JUST FOUND OURSELVES IN A SIMILAR SITUATION WITH A VERY CLOSE RELATIVE. WE TRIED TO WORK THINGS OUT & IT DID GET HEATED, BUT THIS PERSON CONTINUES TO THINK HE CAN BE DISRESPECTFUL, JUDGMENTAL & CONDEMNING. AS DEEPLY AS IT HURT TO HAVE TO DO SO, WE TOLD HIM THAT HE WAS NO LONG WELCOMED IN OUR HOME OR OUR LIVES UNTIL HIS ATTITUDE CHANGED. PERIOD. HIS POWER WAS IN HURTING US & TRYING TO PUT A WEDGE BETWEEN NICK & I. WE TOOK THAT POWER AWAY BY REMOVING HIM FROM OUR LIVES. OUR LIVES ARE IN PEACE. HIS ISN'T. THAT IS HIS RESPONSIBILITY TO DEAL WITH. I HOPE THE AUTHOR OF THE LETTER FINDS PEACE, BUT IN MY EXPERIENCE, SHE WILL ALLOW THIS SITUATION TO TAUNT HER & DEMINISH HER JOY WITH HER SUCCESSES. SO, LET'S ALL REALIZE THAT WE HAVE TREMENDOUS VALUE, NO MATTER WHAT OUR WARTS ARE ... AT LEAST WE CAN LOSE OUR WARTS NOW ... CRUEL PEOPLE SEEM TO NEVER LOSE THEIRS. GOD BLESS & BLESSINGS FOR JOY & PEACE DAWN & NICK

I'M LOVING THIS LETTER!!!!!!!!!!! YOU GO GIRL!!!!!I'm waiting on a surgery date and debating on whether to tell people what I'm doing. Even some family I don't want to tell. Due to the "You could lose it on your own if you wanted to" reply that seems typical.