DON'T LEAVE SPOUSES & LOVED ONES BEHIND!

FOR THOSE WHO KNOW NICK & I, I THINK YOU WILL BE AS SURPRISED AT THIS AS I WAS ... I'VE WATCHED THE TALK-SHOW PROGRAMS WITH HUSBANDS & WIVES WHO ARE LEAVING ONE ANOTHER AFTER THE GASTRIC BYPASS SPOUSE HAS LOST WEIGHT. I ALWAYS ASSUMED THAT IT WAS BECAUSE THERE WAS SOMETHING "WRONG" OR MISSING FROM THEIR MARRIAGE PRIOR TO THE SURGERY, SO THE MASSIVE CHANGES IN THE SPOUSE WHO WAS LOSING WEIGHT JUST PUT THE NAIL IN THE COFFIN. BUT, MAYBE MY ASSUMPTIONS WERE A LITTLE TOO CONVENIENT AN ANSWER. I DON'T THINK THERE COULD POSSIBLY BE A MAN MORE SUITED FOR ME AS MY HUSBAND & VISA VERSA. WE MET, & NICK & I HAVE BEEN "STUCK AT THE HIP" EVER SINCE. SO, I WAS COMPLETELY SURPRISED WHEN HE WOKE ME UP BEFORE HE WENT TO WORK THE OTHER MORNING TO TELL ME HIS HEART WAS BREAKING. AS HE RELAYED IT TO ME, HE HAD A VIVID DREAM IN WHICH I HAD LOST MY WEIGHT & AS HE PUT IT, "I WAS EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN I AM TO HIM NOW". I WAS GOING OFF TO COLLEGE OR SOMEWHERE IMPORTANT, BUT ... IN HIS DREAM, I TOLD HIM HE COULDN'T COME WITH ME. HE DIDN'T ARGUE, OR BEG, OR FIGHT, OR CHASE AFTER ME OVER MY DECISION TO LEAVE & EXPAND MY LIFE WITHOUT HIM ... HE JUS****CHED ME LEAVE ALL THE WHILE HIS HEART WAS BREAKING. THE DREAM WAS SO "REAL" TO HIM THAT IT HAS STAYED WITH HIM FOR DAYS. HE'S BROUGHT IT UP SEVERAL TIMES &, OF COURSE, I ASSURE HIM THAT HE IS THE ONLY MAN I WANT IN MY LIFE & THAT I COULDN'T IMAGINE LIVING WITHOUT HIM. HE LOVED ME WITHOUT LIMITS WHEN I WAS OBESE, SO HOW COULD I NOT LOVE HIM WHEN I FINALLY LOSE THE WEIGHT & AM HEALTHY & ABLE TO ENJOY A FULLER LIFE WITH HIM? BUT, EVEN THOUGH NOTHING HAS EVER SHAKEN HIS BELIEF IN OUR UNENDING LOVE UP TILL NOW, THIS DREAM HAS SHAKEN HIM DEEPLY. IT WAS SUCH A SURPRISE TO ME ... SOMETHING I NEVER THOUGHT WOULD COME UP IN OUR RELATIONSHIP ... & YET, PROBABLY VERY NORMAL WHEN YOU TAKE TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT. HE'S WORKING & DOING THE "EVERYDAY" THINGS OF LIFE WHILE I'M ON THIS FANTASTIC JOURNEY TO A "NEW" ME ... NOT, A NEW "US" (EVEN THOUGH IT WILL WONDERFULLY EFFECT EVERTHING THAT IS "US"). SO, I GET TO EXPERIENCE ALL THESE NEW THINGS THAT I'M ABLE TO DO ... &, SEE & FEEL ALL THESE WONDERFUL CHANGES IN MY BODY & HEALTH, WHILE HE HAS TO GET UP DAILY TO WOR****IL HE'S EXHAUSTED & THEN COME HOME TO HEAR OF MY "ACCOMPLISHMENTS" & CHANGES. I CAN SEE WHERE HE MIGHT FEEL "LEFT BEHIND" EVEN THOUGH I INCLUDE HIM IN EVERYTHING THAT IS GOING ON. SO ... ... MY WORDS OF WISDOM ... GIVE YOUR SPOUSES & LOVED ONES EXTRA SPECIAL GIFTS OF LOVE & APPRECIATION TO ASSURE THEM THAT ALTHOUGH YOU ARE CHANGING, YOUR LOVE FOR THEM IS ONLY GROWING DEEPER WITH EACH POUND YOU LOOSE!

WONDERFUL WORDS OF WISDOM LADY "D"...YOUR'E AN Tonya

Wow, I hadn't thought about it that way. Porter said to me the other day that he is going to have to star****ching it cause I am going to get little and he need to lose weight to keep me. Now, he was joking...but there is always truth in joking. I suppose we need to sit down and have a heart to heart conversation about the changes that are going to occur. I love him with all my heart and don't want him to feel like I don't want him. Now, if you have ever met my husband you would laugh at the losing weight statement. He had a belly, but that is all...he has bird legs!!!! All he has to do is star****ching his carb intake and the pounds just melt away. That being said...we work at the hospital and the coordinator for the WLS program walked by us at lunch yesterday. Porter was just staring...everyone else at the table tought he was gawking at her with me sitting right there...I know better. He was dreaming of how I would look after I meet my goal. See, she started where I am currently. Now she wears a size 6 - 4 ...he was dreaming that I was that size already. Dirty little man. Thanks for making me stop and think about him and his feelings at this time. --Kelly

YOU'RE MOST WELCOMED, MS KELLY. I NEVER EVEN CONSIDERED THIS WOULD EVER BE AN ISSUE BETWEEN US. EVEN WHEN I WATCHED THOSE TALK TV SHOWS, I WOULD TELL HIM HOW ANGRY I WAS IF THE WLS PATIENT FELT THEY WERE "BETTER" THAN THEIR SPOUSE (WHO HAD SUPPORTED THEM THROUGH EVERYTHING) ... OR, IF THE WLS PATIENT FELT GOIN' OUT & PLAYING THE SINGLES' SCENE WAS MORE EXCITING THAN BEING WITH THEIR HUSBAND (IT WAS USUALLY THE FEMALE WLS PATIENT WHO LEFT). SO, EXPRESSING MY DISDAIN FOR WHAT I CONSIDERED THE "LOW LIFE" OF THE WLS FAMILY, I FIGURED HE JUST KNEW I'D NEVER LEAVE HIM. WRONG ... ANYONE CAN BE INSECURE WITH CHANGE! YUP, I KNOW PORTER WAS DEFINITELY DAYDREAMING OF YOU WHEN HE SAW THE WLS COORDINATOR WALK BY. NICK DOES IT ALL THE TIME. HE'LL SEE A SMALL WOMAN & SAY SOMETHING LIKE, "YOU'D LOOK GOOD IN THAT DRESS" ... OR, ASK IF I THINK I'LL BE ABOUT HER SIZE ... I SAY IT TO HIM AS WELL ... I'LL SEE A SMALLER WOMAN & ASK HIM IF HE LIKES THAT SIZE. WE EVEN ASKED SOME OF OUR (TINY) FAVORITE WAITRESS WHAT THEIR WEIGHT WAS ... BETWEEN 135 - 125. SO, I'M IN THE BALLPARK AS MY PERFECT WEIGHT GOAL IS 118 ... & MY SENSIBLE WEIGHT GOAL IS 135 - 125. GLAD OUR STORY HELPED!! GOD BLESS YOU DAWN & NICK