SO tell me where you are in your life.....

Hello  everyone .
Just wanted to say hello. Now that I am living in SC,things are starting to calm down and I am trying to get life back to normal (whatever that migth be) I have to tell you I have been doing alot of thinking about where I am in my life and especially with my surgery. I told Dianne when I moved down here how exciting it was going to be to for once in my life be partnered with a person that has also had the surgery. We had planned walks, Healthier eating and a commitment to in general better health. I have to say none of that is happening. I guess the moral to that is, that it isnt happening because is we arent making it happen. Life is so busy trying to figure out where I am . A new job and also trying to make a new relationship work. I am afraid to head for the scales yet I know I need to. Another big stresser is not knowing anyone. I lived 40 years in Ky and i knew my surroundings,,,,,Now I know no one. Am I complaining NOOOOO,
        I guess I am just saying If you are having this surgery to make everything better in your life , it is a great tool to help you loose weight, But as a tool your mind is what is really in control. The everyday stressers that in alot of cases made some of obese will still come back and in some cases with a fury!  As I write this a tear runs down my face because I look back at almost 4 years ago when I was so excited and bullit proof  because this surgery was going to make me skinny and happy.... I look back at 3 years ago when I losst 300 lbs the first year and was on top of the world because my new tummy was in control....I look back to 2 years ago when i was sustaining but not loosing.......I look back to a year ago when the weight loss was a battle again and I was working my ass off not to gain and some of my older close where getting tight or not fitting.......

     This is reality folks we make our success.... Would I have changed anything hell no!!!!!!! It makes me who I am and what people like about me........ As far as everything else in my life I am a success but its now time to take control of what scares me and fight that.
    Dianne is so wonderful and supportive of my dreams and most of all we work hard to atleast hold our weight. She like me has struggles  with her mind as far as what she needs to do that is good and bad (dont we all). She has had the band yet not the same she struggles with trying to find that "sweet spot" She looks great and she does want me to work harder because I do want to spend a great future with her  so we will overcome.

  The company I work at is a nightmare and even though the money is great I have to say the worst company I have ever worked at , with long hours , nights and weekend....This is where I need to start looking to fix.

As far as friends I have made some many through the years on OH ,, But I have to say as the time goes by they are fading away.... I thnk for the most reason once we loose the weight we find we can enjoy life and we look for higher standards and more activity...... On the flip side I have seen people fail at the wls and they have slipped away because they are ashamed......
This is one of my hardest struggles right now I miss the friendships I have made.... the daily struggles of my freinds and most of all the successes.... I hope none of you slipp away for any reasons.....

I guess in closing I want to thank each of you for being a freind most of you dont know me or have never met me... But being able to read your goals, accomplishment or your struggles makes me a better person almost 4 years after  the fight for my life. I admire each of you because you make me feel real and let me know I am not alone.  thanks you most of all for listening and believing........ron

This is where I am where are you?

What a wonderful posting. This is what OH should be all about. Just knowing that WLS is not the answer to all of our problems and that it is strictly a tool that can be abused and definetly stop working as we get out of the honeymoon phase. I am 21 months out from surgery and it is not easy maintaining my weight. I go up and down with the same 5 pounds over and over. One day it's up the next day it's down. I find I can eat more now than I could last year, so I have to be very careful. I still will get a sick feeling if I do eat more than I should, almost like dumping ,but it's not, unfortunetly it doesn't hit me until about 20 minutes after I'm done eating, then all I feel like doing is going to bed and sleeping it off, unless I can get out and walk it off. I want so bad to lose another 10 pounds and it seems as though I'm back to looking at diets that I did in the past but  I'm having the same kind of results as  back then, which is not losing the weight.
But, on a good note, I am much more active now, and can do things that I had given up on because my weight hindered me from certain activites, like hunting. Yes I hunt, and love it ,now that I can walk the distances and fit into hunting clothes, lol. I can run up stairs that two years ago I couldn't even walk up without my knees feeling like they were going to give way under me. I can shop for regular size clothes with one draw back........my closet is now full of clothes again, which is what I said I would never do once I got rid of all my big sizes, but alas, the shopping bug has bit me again and I can't pass up a good sale on clothes. I love my job, something I can't ever remember saying in the 30 something years I have been working.
I still have the problem of looking in the mirror and not seeing a thinner me.  I catch myself thinking that people still look at me as a fat person and I sometimes feel uncomfortable around strangers due to those thoughts. I wonder if that feeling will ever go away? I have had people say they wish they were as thin as I am and then I have to look around to make sure they are talking about me, lol.
All in all this is the best thing I have ever done for my self. NO it's not easy and NO it's not going to solve all of your problems, but.........it will give you a healthier and hopefully happier life.
 Thanks for posting, it's nice to see someone else writing again. I'm like you, all of my old WLS buddies are gone and it's not the same on here as it use to be. I miss the old crowd and wish they would at least post on occasion so we know they are still out there and alive and well.
WHEW! This is long winded so I will go now and go shopping, not for clothes though, lol.

Take care and good luck with everything.
Mary

WOW Ron, great post.  This surgery has changed all of our lives so much and yes, we all struggle when we get 2 to 3 years out.  I am at 2-1/2 yrs. out and am up about 10 lbs. at the moment.  Making me crazy.  My biggest problem is I have found I can drink wine and that seems to be my "transfer addiction".  I am working on it but not much success at this point.  Anyone else have this problem???

Hi Ron!  I'm sorry to not have introduced myself before but I mostly lurk here now.  Your post is powerful and really spoke to me.  It must be challenging to be in a new place with new stresses and still have to maintain your tool and not succumb to the triggers of daily life.  I'm not there yet, I'm only 18 months out and still in the "honeymoon" phase but I am learning from those who have gone before me.  Please feel free to post thoughts and feelings and struggles, that's what we're here for, to support each other!  Whether you know it or not, you are an inspiration to us who are not as far along, the good AND the bad.  I like to be prepared and seeing what struggles lie ahead doesnt scare me..it helps to prepare those of us who may feel that we've found the "magic" formula for weight loss.   It's alot of work and will be for the rest of our lives!  Keep your chin up..we're here for you!

wow! Ron you are a great inspiration! You've said what I've thought, probably what most of us have thought. We are all unique but so alike in this journey. I feel so alone sometimes as if I have nobody to turn to that understands where I've been and where I'm going through. I'm 21 months out and 100 pounds lighter. I'm still 15 pounds away from my personal goal. I'm the day before you Mary. (I met you at Kathy's house about a month before our surgery). I find that I can eat more and it scares me to death. I still struggle with my inner deamons telling me that I can eat things that I know I shouldn't. I know this is a lifetime committment that I've made by having this surgery and I've got to focus more on making it work for me. I've never once regreted my decision and would do it again tomorrow. I feel like I'm healthier, look better and have more energy than I've had in 20 years. I had a great doctor, supportive family, friends and coworkers, but I still need people like you, because people like you know me and my struggles better than anyone. Thanks for being so honest with your posts, and welcome to South Carolina!!

What a great post.  I think that you have said exactly what I've been thinking.  You go into the surgery having read and researched everything you have and you think you are all ready.  I figured that I would never be the one to have trouble with the last ten pounds, to have the marriage problems or to struggle without my former best friend FOOD.
   Yet I too am struggling with all of this.  I miss horribly all of my WLS friends, we had this tremendous bond as we had the surgery and lost weight together.  I think now we are all so busy with living life again that we just don't make the time to give and get that support and its so dangerous.  I've found that it is SO easy to slip back into my old habits.  I don't eat the five small meals anymore and I don't dump at all which is scary.  I have maintained my lowest weight within 5 pounds but have to work HARD at it.
   I would do the surgery over again in a second but I wish I could just skip the past year.
Thanks for the great post
mary

Thanks to all of you who posted. Boy, did I need that. I don't, post hardly at all, but I find that now I am desperate for support. It  not only is a daily struggle,  but sometimes a minute to minute struggle. I have to say, this is the hardest thing that I have ever done. It is not a fast fix, it's not at all what I thought it would be. Ron, like you, I thought life would be happier and some how easier than it was being fat. Like someone else said, they still feel like the fat girl. How do we get past that? How can we look in a mirror and see what others see?  Now I still see the same girl, just with alot more sags and bags. I went to Dr 's support meetings for a while and found them to be the same one after another, I just didn't find much support there. I should go again and try harder. It is nice to know that others are having the same struggles as me. Thanks for the kick in the butt!

You are right, we ae so focused with the lose of weight and the support of each other in the beginning. Because we see results, then real life kicks in. The support drops away, stressors pick back up, we dont get the positive reinforcements we did at first, we go back to some old habits...and boom..it becomes a struggle again.
The mind is a powerful thing and it is hard to change many years of habits when we still dont get the early positive effects.

Hi Ron, I read your forum and you did great, you must feel on top of the world right now. To think you lost 300 lbs is almost unthinkable. I'm so happy for you. I am hoping to get a lap band done soon. Just waiting for my ok from the insurance, and the Dr.
Dr. Rapp is going to be doing my surgery, everyone that's had him do their surgery seems satisfied with him. I hope that I have as much success as you, you are a great example of weight loss surgery. Keep up the good work. Oh by the way my parents were from Pikeville KY, when I was a young girl, my family used to visit there every year.  I still have cousins up there, but I don't get up there anymore, maybe some day. I hope that your new relationship is going great. Again congratulations on your weight loss. Sheila