this ****s for the birds!!!

i rarely.. i repeat.. RARELY get overwelmed by something so bad that i get bad depressed.. Well.. im there. i just cry and cry.  Now the "good" side that he just put 1 stitch in to prevent it ripping ,is starting to seperate.. and is "glisening"(sp) so its fresh meat showing. which isnt good. and my belly button looks like death.. he left to go out of town today so i go in at 1 to see his nurse and see if she can steri-strip me or stitch me and keep me together.. i feel like a freakin time bomb waiting to explode.. im scared to move an inch this way or that in fear that my body is going to seperate.. Thank God i didnt have the incision all the way around me, or i possibly could! WTF have i done to myself!?!?!  im going to ask for steri strips all aross my stoma*****ision. i dont trust a damn bit of that incision. my body is obviously not taking well to the internal stitches..it scares the absolute **** Out of me.. sorry for the language but im so upset and scared. i hate not being in control of a situation and i have NO control over this.. i have done NOTHING but lay in bed since my other side ripped apart and it obviously hasnt helped since the other side is starting to as well. now my belly button is oozing and looking like a hole .. LORD HELP ME!!! sorry yall.. i need someone to vent to and yall are my only hope right now!  

Jen, I am so sorry sweetie, I wish I could help you out! I will call you later and you can vent. Patti

I am sitting here trying to imagine what you are going through and for the life of me I cant imagine it!!!   It is like science fiction ya know.  I would be scared as hell and probably crying like a infant.  I am so very sorry for what is happening with you and it makes ya rethink plastics thats for sure.  I wish so much I could help but all I can do is pray for you and ask God to heal you.  Again I am so so sorry and I am seriously worried about what is going on with you.  Please let us know as soon as something is done for you.  I will be praying and thinking of you today and everyday until we hear something saying you are doing much better.  ((((((BIG HUG)))))) Liz

jen... Im sorry youre going through this mess. When my sister had her TT she rejected the internal stiches as well....  it was a longer healing process for her and got kinda nuts like yours is, but she looks great now!!! kinda like with WLS I guess... your thinking WTF did I do, but when youre sporting that FLAT tummy you will be happy and this will just be a stepping stone. STAY POSITIVE!!! Healing is 50% mental ya know!!! XOXOXO

Jen!!       Girl you just keep venting! You are going to look so great and I promise, this too shall pass...just think of everything you have been through mentally and physically and know that you can accomplish and do anything!   Your body will heal in its own time and know that in the meantime we are all here rootin' for you! Hugs...ok maybe just smooches, hugs might hurt too much!!! ~M

I'm so sorry you are going through this, bless your heart,  I am praying for you.....I know it must be scary and painful to say the least, but try to stay as positive as you can as  a positive mind does help healing....hang in there girl.

Hey Jen, Hope this finds you doing MUCH MUCH better !! I have been following you since i saw that you had your TT & lift coming soon. I have mine approved but not date set other than to see the surgen next week for a date hoefully !, Keep your sprits up ! Trust me , this is just a stepping stone to a New & Improved you !!  As far as letting things get to you , After my RNY I had blood clots,bleeding ulcers, kidney failure , Low BP ,& dehydration , spent 29 days in the hospital & the last week of that stay was hell , I was ready to give up , could not even watch the TV without crying !! I really thought I had lost my mind !! Dr put me on Lexapro & then when things even got worse good ole Xanax will do it for me!  Please dont set around & suffer with depression about things you have no control , I know that is easier said than done, esp without some help & he can give you things to make you cheerful , or at least in my case not cry like a baby instead of the 44 year old male who never cried about anything !! HANG TOUGH GIRLIE !!| Allen

Hey girl!! Hang in there.  You are one tough cookie.  The end result will be worth it.  I look at  it like this....everyone has their own problems, trials and tribulation in life ....but when you get to the mountain top...I think you enjoy the view more because of what it took to get there. Hang in there. Take one day at a time! No worries about venting....that is why we are all here!! lol I went to the women's health conference at the Palmetto First Center on Sat (Sponsered by GHS) There was every kind of Dr. there....so one session I went to hear Dr. Bour talk about the program and such... At the end of his presentation..he showed pictures of his patients before and after.  Well......you were the last picture...and I have to admit...I teared up...I was so proud of you!!!!!!  my mom was like...Do you know her?.... I said yes...I have only met her in person 1 time...but she is great.  I know I have told you this before ....but your blogs here on OH and Patti's story have BOTH inspired me.  -  There are days I struggle too ....and I go read your profle and look how far you come and  I get inspired and get more determination that I can make it too!!  THANK YOU JENNIFER for being a great weight loss role model and inspiration to many.  I hope one day I can do the same for someone else. You are a beautiful woman...inside and out!! I am glad we can all be here for your venting!!!! :) Angela

omgosh! now im tearing up!!! ((((Hugs))) that was so nice.. and wow he showed my pic? that seems surreal for some reason! what pictures was it? LOL i can see my panty pics being up in front of the world! lmao that is crazy.. wow. you have made my day!! thank you i needed that!!  all the great women i have met on this board were my inspiration. its great to know that i have helped someone else along the way..

It was your "before" picture ..I guess they took...and then either a 1 year or 18 months out picture... You had a shirt that had no straps or sleeves.....if i remember correctly it was black/ or gray and white.  You looked smokin....and you hadn't even had plastics yet!!  Wait til Katie takes your picture next time.....They will have so many people signing up for the program....they will be booked for years to come! lol  Angela