Personal Question...

How many of you have had relationships affected after WLS? I think for me, I don't have to settle anymore.  Not that I ever had to, but I did.  You really find out who your friends are...as I brake out into a country music song... There are people who accept you unconditionally, and those that accept you because you make them look better when you are over weight.  Then there are those that become insecure and look for trouble. For my friends that love me unconditionally...THANK YOU. For all others, I hate it for you, you are missing out. (Not ment for anyone on this board)

WOW!!!!!  i know how you feel.  and yes, you learn quickly who your friends are AND what family members really love you.  but hell, i'm stronger for it.  i went through a really tough 2007 but things for me are slowing getting back to normal.

hey sherry!!! long time no see!!! hows things going?? marriage ? etc? I miss you!! jen

i miss you too!!  i am going to try to go to patti's party friday night.  r u going?  if so i'll fill you in completely but everything is going much better for me now.  i am only 1/2 insane these days!

yes i am going! thatd be great to catch up!!!! :) hope you can make it jen

Hi Sherrie, would love to see you there Friday! Patti

Hi Debbie, I know exactly what you're talking about.  I was just discussing this with Hellen at work last week.  I told her that I find myself becoming very resentful to some people in my life.  I have noticed so many changes in family members and people I considered to be friends.  I have found that I am a lot stronger now and that I'm less tolerable to other peoples problems with me.  When I was overweight I thought that I had to conform to whomever my family and friends thought I should be.  Now I'm like look love me or leave me the hell alone.  I find myself not wanting to make new friends especially ones who have seen me around for years but never bothered to talk to me.  I have found so many discriminations over the past few months that it just makes me so angry.  It hurts most when it's your own family.  I told you all that my husband and Mom didn't want me to have the surgery from the beginning right?  My husband gave me the whole song and dance about how much he loved me just the way I was and thought I looked fine how I was.  Now that I've lost almost all the weight, he is singing a different tune.  He says how he always wanted me to be able to wear some of the clothes I now wear and that he felt a little embarrassed sometimes going out with me because although I had a pretty face he knew his friends would think his wife was fat.  I used to beg him to run to Wal-mart with me or any store and he never wanted to go.  Now when I get up to put on my shoes he wants to be right there with me.  I find myself going off on him often saying "why the hell do you wanna go now?  Sit your a$% at home like you used to, I'm going alone!"  My Mom and I are always fighting now.  With every pound I loose we get into an argument about her thinking I'm dying and wasting away.  I've done everything I could to understand her feelings and fears, explained the surgery and how much weight I could loose before it's all over and even went as far as to let Dr.B tell her!!  Nothing satisfies her and she tends to compare her 5'6 inch weight and frame to my 5'2 inch weight and frame.  I'm to the point where I don't want to go see her anymore and feel like I can no longer discuss what's going on in my life for fear of another "You're dying" argument.  I'm sorry Debbie, this wasn't about me was it?  I was supposed to be helping you,  I've just had that balled up in me and I felt like I was going to explode.  If you need someone to talk to I'm here for you hun.  I'm glad you're a strong woman and I think you're great at any size.   Robin

Amen !!!

Wow!  I could write a stinking book on how relationships have changed in my life....but honestly the only changed that I have noticed has been with my husband.  2007 has been a tough year on our marriage and I think most of it was his stupidity.  Losing weight did help me realize that  I didn't have to settle for a lot of crap that I put up with in my marriage and my husband calls me the "new Rachel" because he says the old Rachel is gone.  He even has said he wished he had the old Rachel back.  But, then again, I wish I had the trust that I had in him a year ago back as well.  Life goes on and if it doesn't kill us, it makes us stronger.  My husband has gone through major life changes this year as well as now I get noticed and flirted with by other men.  In the past, I was safe.  He knew there were no temptations for me to deal with so he never had a problem trusting me.  Now he knows the temptations are there  and sometimes my wrath for revenge still comes seeping out.  However, I'm moving past that.  Things are a little better at the moment in my married life - but it changes day to day.   I love all of my OH friends for understanding and being there.   I love you all!!

In general I have noticed how people treat me different now that I am thinner (and my self-esteem is getting a lot better). I love it how in one breath they give you compliments and then there is always the follow-up story that tells you how you used to be fat...