For Chris and Eddie

Okay girls, no hate mail, just trying to suck up to the guys. "The Man Rules" At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down, the guys side of the story.  We always hear all the rules from the female side and now here are the rules from the male side.  These are our rules!!   Please note...These are numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1.  Men are not mind readers. 1.  Learn to work the tolet seat. You're a big girl.  If it's up, put it down.  You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1.  Sunday sports, it's like the full moon or the changing of the tides,  Let it be. 1.  Shopping is not a sport.  And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1.  Crying is blackmail. 1.  Ask for what you want.  Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work!  Strong hints do not work!  Obvious hints do not work!   Just say it!!! 1.  Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1.  Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it.  That's what we do.  Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1.  A headache that last for 17 months is a problem.  See a Doctor. 1.  Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1.  If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, DON'T ecpect us to act like soap opera guys. 1.  IF you think your fat, you probably are.  Don't ask us!! 1.  If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one. 1.  You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.  Not both.  If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1.  Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1.  Christopher Columbus DID NOT need directions and neither do we. 1.  ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings.  Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.  Pumpkin is also a fruit.  We have no idea what mauve is. 1.  If it itches, it will be scratched. 1.  If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we wil ack like nothing's wrong.  We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later. 1.  If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear! 1.  When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anthing you wear is fine...REALLY. 1.  Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation or golf. 1.  You have enough clothes. 1.  You have too many shoes. 1.  I am in shape, ROUND is a shape. 1.  Thank you for reading this, yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight:  but did youknow men really don't mind that?  I's like camping. PASS THIS TO AS MANY MEN AS YOU CAN-TO GIVE THEM A LAUGH. PASS THIS TO AS MANY WOMEN AS YOU CAN- TO GIVE THEM A BIGGER LAUGH.  

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaleluhiah Alleluhiah Alleluhiah As I kneel down before this BIBLE of truths........let me pray...... The gospel has been found, and it has been read aloud, let all of you within the sound of Debbies email (??) now know the truth!!!! THANK GOD for this man and the uniquivitable truth he preaches....

Thank you Debbie for posting this, it has brought tears to my eyes......truly a BEAUTIFUL thing

    

Men can print this crap all they want.. the truth is...  WE WOMEN have the official RULE book.. and if ever any member of the "male species" get's his sweaty little paws on it... The Rules Officially Change...  And so it is written ... AMEN

We women know men wear the pants in the house......... .......but we also know WE tell them the which one's to put on!!!!!

OK Deb, I thought this was a man celebration-not a bashing....you're switching sides on my Cowgirl...

The list is the truth, because we men have been persecuted for so long, it is about time one of us stood up against the oppressing forces and let it be known that we will not take it anymore, that we will fight, on this day and in this hour, we will fight for OUR INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!! Gosh darn I feel all patriotic and tingly

Poor Little Stud Muffin I think you've gone delusional on us.  Please make sure that you are taking all of your meds and get plenty of rest tonight.   Mary

You have been exposed to WAY too much lately.

It has you feeling all invincible and stuff.  Hopefully , it will pass soon.

That tingly feeling means your boxer-briefs are to tight..  has NOTHING to do with independence ... Now get back behind me.. at least 4 steps..where you belong...

(as I suddenly realize I am standing up here all by myself, with no one to back me up).......... C'mon---I'll take ya all on....because if there is one thing I know, it is the fact that.....well, errrr, ummmm, that no matter what I say to you women---no matter how mad you get, I can run longer than you and eventually lose you before you do physical harm to me so C'MON, I'm standing here today fighting for my Independence Day!!!!

On a side note; Debbie--this did not turn out quite like I had imagined it would, maybe next time "ix-nay on the ale-may tuff-say"...wink wink