im so sad, please help me

Ok ya'll hees the thing. Today sucked. I got so busy that it was 5:00pm before i realized that i hadnt eaten yet or drank any protein. so i took my neice to taco bell to pick up dinner  for everyone. it was awful normally i would have got a grilled stuffed borito and a chicken quesadilla nope not today i ordered cheesy feista potates...and if any of you guys have had those you get quite a bit. well i ate almost all of them...i didnt feel full i didnt feel like  stuffed myself..since having this surgery i cant think of one time that i felt full...i just eat the amount im suposed to. and i can eat whatever i want it doesnt matter nothing makes me sick nothing makes me feel bad...i dont know what to think. im just depressed i want to eat EVERYTHING i love food so much. its rediculous and i wonder why im 300 well was 300 anyways. i know the saying nothing taste as good as thin feels but i thought after this surgery your suposed to get sick and hate food....what the f*** yall this is rediculous why do i still want to eat. i realize i can go the whole day and not be hungry but i dont want to. i want that buritto and i want a double cheeseburger from micky ds. and i want to drink a F***ing diet coke i love diet coke so much. i wish i could stop thinking about these things. i hate this so much. i just feel like i want to be normal again. but i want to be skinnny and healthy so bad. and now im crying and i just feel so bad right now. i dont know how to do this. mabye my people were right i looked at this as a quick fix and now im stuck for the rest of my life. How do i make these feelings go away. im 3 weeks out and smoked today...all day....i know it can hurt me but im just so frustrated i didnt knwo what else to do. and i dont know how many of you know this but my husband is in Iraq for the 3rd time and i dont get to talk to him very often and i just wish he was here to support me. im sorry for this ya'll but i dont knwo who else to turn too.... love and hugs  becca

Oh Becky....first off, this surgery plays with your hormones...therefore your emotions, and we tend to be VERY emotional for the first few months.  Add to that your hubby being gone, and  you have a right to cry.  But now you gotta pick yourself up and get back on track.  First off, don't eat cheesy feista potatoes yet.  Tell yourself you can have those down the road.  The white starches bring back cravings for food something fierce.  Also, have protein when you first get up in the a.m.  I promise it will help.  Find a protein shake you like...doctor it up.  I use a chocolate whey protein and add peanut butter, a half of a banana and some sugar free chocolate syrup.  May not sound good, but i really enjoy it....just try it.  Experiment until you find that protein source that you enjoy.  Always start your day with protein....it does help. Don't beat yourself up.  We have all had our ups and downs.  We have all wondered if we should have had this surgery.  And most of us who are at least a year out will tell you it was the best thing we ever did. Take care and hang in there!!!

I have the same problem of not feeling full as I am eating, it takes about 15-20 min. after I am done that I get the full feeling. If I do eat more than I should , I suffer and I'm miserable. All I can say is to make sure you don't over eat. That is one reason I appreciate the program that our doctor has, yes we paid a fee for it in addition to the cost of the by-pass, but it was well worth it to me. They can help us get through these bumps in the road that we all go through and will continue to go through the rest of our lives. This surgery is not a promise that we will not get back to our old habits, we just have to make it work and follow the "rules". I will always say this surgery is a blessing and I have no regrets that I took this path, it is the best thing I have ever done for myself, I just know I can't abuse it. Get back on track, you will be fine, we all go through this, so your not alone. Just the fact you realize what you are doing is the main thing, just don't let it get out of control.  Mary

Becky, I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Maybe MY personal experience can help you.  I NEVER felt full, I don't think i had a full feeling until almost 6 months out.  It does not mean that you are NOT full, it means that the nerves that were severed during the surgery have not HEALED yet. You must be very careful and measure your food, especially these first few months out just so that your pouch can heal properly.  You don't want to stretch it too much, especially at the staple lines.  Mushy food will flow through your stoma pretty easily, so it may just be going on through without actually "filling"  your pouch. Even today, at over 18months out, I don' have that same full feeling I had before surgery.  Usually, when I do get that full feeling, it is too late and I am overly full and in the bathroom puking. BUT, there are other signals...and weird ones too...that will tell me that I am full now.  My nose will start running.  I don't know why, but apparently this is quite common.  Sometimes i will get "tired" of eating.  The food ALL OF A SUDDEN wil not seem to be worth the energy to actually fini**** Just know, that what you are going through is 100% normal.  We all mourned food (still do.)  we all get sad.  Eventually, the enjoyment you got from food will be replaced with other things.  More activity, a higher self esteem, better health, etc. It will be okay.  I promise.

I too have had days like these and it mainly happens on the weekends.  I too have started back smoking when I can't handle it.  It is ok.  You are completely normal.  I found that I can go all day and not get hungry then try to eat anything and I get sick.  I feel that some days I am not doing anything right and worry that this was a mistake but this is ok too.  I can't see the end yet but I know that when I do it will be worth it.   If you need to talk or just have someone come over call me.  My husband leaves for Iraq in December, we have only been married for a year but he is leaving me with his 3 teenage children.  So, I will be pulling my hair out if it doesn't fall out on its own.  If you are having a bad day or just want some company call me.  Hugs. ruth

thank you so much for all your advice and support. it really helped i guess i just had a bit of a melt down. i got up this morning and got on the scale and it was 279! so that made me feel great not only am i out of the 3s and the 290s but im no longer in the 280s either! its amzing because i know i will never see a number that high again. and yes i KNOW this. ha ha im just so happy now ya'll...thanks bunches!