Thursday Morning Rant (LONG)

  I am definately a native SC belle and this concept is hard for me.  Its been engrained in me to try to be good, look nice, and marry well.  I think I've failed at most of that      Whenever someone in my family passes away, we deal with the grief by worrying about the funeral outfit.  One of my worst memories is waiting for a Payless to open because my mother decided at the last minute that we needed to wear heels to my 16 year old cousins funeral.  And believe me, you don't argue with my mother about what is proper or not.    My first memories are of my mother telling me to always be sweet.  Hence could that be why I'm sweet even when I'm pissed as heck.  I maybe could have avoided some counselling if I hadn't always been sweet.    Today I am furious with my husband.  He and my six year old came home from their mini vacation Tuesday night.  I was home getting over my procedure.  Yesterday he informed me that his friend is here to stay for a week to take some sort of recertification test in Chas.  I asked him if saying no EVER crossed his mind.  Of course not.  I'm the one who says no and has to cancel her plans because of the family. I might run away Thanks Kathy,  Its fun to not be sweet. Mary

Mary, I think Steel Magnolias was based on you and your family! Here are some quotes that remind me of you... Truvy: Well, these thighs haven't gone out of the house without lycra on them sice I was 14. Clairee: You were brought up right.  And of course the whole part where Clairee tries to get M'lynn to hit Ouisa....LOLOLOL!

Its insane.  And the scary thing is I'm getting to be a little like my mom.  and my dad gets crazier and crazier.  when I graduate in a year, my parents and family are having a huge blowout.  Of course its tinged with guilt, my Aunt told me that she's been waiting 20 years to have my college graduation party.       My grandmother was the original steel Magnolia.  She had a standing appointment every Friday to have her hair done by Pansy.  This appointment could not be missed.  All trips and functions were planned around this appointment.  I was little and worried about how much $ my grandfather spent on these appointments, I asked my aunt about it and she said Mary, It doesn't matter because he just has to keep her happy.  I think she was a tad demanding.  She always told us that she couldn't wear flats, she had worn heels her whole life and was unable to walk in flats.   THAT DOES NOT EVEN MAKE SENSE, BUT I STILL BELIEVE IT

Anyway, I will expect all of you at the graduation bash and you can join the craziness.  At least they believe in liquor

M

 

When youre a NON southerner... these kinda things are SSSOOOO FUNNY!!!! The SouthEast is like a totally different universe!  VERY ENTERTAINING!!!

"She always told us that she couldn't wear flats, she had worn heels her whole life and was unable to walk in flats." Ok, I HAVE to vouch for her on this.  I own alot of those cute ballerina flats now and it is HARD for me to walk in them, even my flip flops have to ahve a tiny heel on them... I walk naturally on my tiptoes (hence the "popeye" calves) so walking in flats actually hurts my legs!

Okay last funny thing about my family. My sister went to Law School at the University of Wyoming.  My parents and their siblings went out West for her graduation.  In the south, when you hear Pomp and Cir****tance at any graduation, even a preschool , you stand as if at a wedding before the graduates come down the aisle. Evidently things are done differently out west.  My family arrived at the graduation in their Sunday best, men in Khakis, ties and blazers, women in church dresses with pearls.  The other attendents were in shorts. When they started play the music, no one stood.  My Aunt Sissy waited about five seconds, stood up and proceeded to turn around, look at everyone in the audience until they all stood also.  I'm convinced they didn't know why they were standing.   I'm also convinced this is why my sister married my awesome brother in law from Wahalla instead of her law school boyfriend from Oregon.  I'm sure we scared him away.

HEEE!  That movie has the best lines ever ... How about -- "I don't like her. I don't trust anyone who does their own hair. I don't think it's natural." or -- "Louie brought his new girlfriend over, and the nicest thing I can say about her is all her tattoos are spelled correctly." or -- "A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste." or my personal favorite (I love it because it feels like something I could say!) ... "I'm pleasant. Damn it!  I saw Drum Eatenton at the Piggly Wiggly this morning, and I smiled at the son of a ***** 'fore I could help myself. "

Kathy, girl, this is a gooooood thing!

My rant for today is: I have invited my dad to meet me at work today for lunch, I am taking him. He, who is one half of my 'parental unit' who never approved/ agreed/ supported my decision to have this 'easy way out' and have surgery. He, who has NOT SEEN ME SINCE I CAME HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL!!! I have sent pictures recently of me via email since I have lost 53 lbs....NOT ONE FREAKING RESPONSE FROM THEM so WHY am i inviting him to lunch??? I dunno, I thought therapy had fixed this, but I have this innate feeling of responsibllity to please them all the time...but nothing i have ever done has pleased them. Just call me a glutten for punishment! Anyway, if I can survive my lunch hour today with him....I keep telling myself, its just ONE HOUR. ~M

Southern Belle = Glutton for Punishment Maybe we should ask Mirriam Webster to officially change the definition...

I love this... I can ***** .. and NOONE is going to judge me?? I can say what I NEED TO SAY and noone will think less of me ?? OK.. here goes... I called and sent my husband a text reminding him I had a hair appointment at 6pm ...... I told my son when he call.. that I had a hair appointment at 6pm and I would be home at around 7:30 ...... Do you think ANY OF THE MEN who live in my house could open a freakkin can of soup.. or take a frozen pizza out of the freezer and bake it ? I walk in the house.. at 7:40 .. to 2 kids asking me what's for dinner... I have 5 cats standing in the kitchen waiting for their spoonful of canned cat food... dishes in the sink from them snacking on something until I came home to cook dinner... Homework hadn't been done... folded clothes hadn't been taken up stairs ... the mail was still in the mail box outside.. My husband... he's already changed into shorts and a t-shirt.. he's drinking a beer.. talking on his cell phone and surfing the freakkin internet.. He walks out of the bonus room and smiles.. kisses  me.. asked me if I had done something to my hair.. and said " should I order a pizza or are you going to make something for dinner" ..... It's 7:40 at freakkin NIGHT..  NO I'M NOT GOING TO WHIP SOMETHING UP FOR DINNER... COULD YOU NOT HAVE FIGURED OUT SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF??? AND WHY ARE THE CATS READY TO NAW ON MY LEG?? COULD NOONE OPEN A FREAKKIN CAN OF CAT FOOD AND FEED THEM??? IS IT TO MUCH TO ASK THAT ONE OF THESE FREAKKIN MALES WHO LIVE IN MY HOUSE FEED THEMSELVES?? DO I HAVE TO PLAN EVERY DAMN MEAL? WHY IS THAT "MY JOB" WHEN WAS THIS VOTE TAKEN.. BECAUSE DAMNIT.. I DEMAND A RECOUNT!!!!!  ::::::::: deep breath ::::::::::::::