Laugh a Little

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........      ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////   M y tire was thumping. I thought it was flat When I looked at the tire... I noticed your cat. Sorry!     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~         H eard your wife left you, How upset you must be. But don't fret about it... She moved in with me.        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   L ooking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder... "What the hell was I thinking?"         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   C ongratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your husband.         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   H ow could two people as beautiful as you Have such an ugly baby?        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   I 've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you .. I've changed my mind.     -------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------   I must admit, you brought Religion into my life. I never believed in Hell until I met you.         //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////   A s the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me.        ####################################################   C ongratulations on your promotion. Before you go... Would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again.     ********************************************************************************   H appy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   H appy birthday! You look great for your age. Almost Lifelike!        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   W hen we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.        //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////   W e have been friends for a very long time . let's say we stop?     +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++   I 'm so miserable without you it's almost like you're here.     =====================================================   C ongratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was?       %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%   Y our friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday. So we're having you put to sleep.     ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))     S o your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. Look at the bright side, it's really good pay

 

Those are pretty funny.....Hallmark could do a new line of cards!