My 1 year post op w/ Dr Bour did not go so well

Jen, No you did not make me feel bad at all. I am proud of all that you have done and where you are now. I had to realize months ago that you are 15 years younger then me and we all will lose in our own way. Never would I want you to feel like you could not share awesome news like that with me. I wish I could have made the road trip with you this weekend, it would have been great! Thank you so much, you know I love you my sister! Patti 

Patti,  I wish there was something someone on these boards could say that you would really, truly believe.  But I know what it is like to be depressed - actually a lot of people on this board know what it is like to be depressed.  There is nothing any of us can say that is going to change how you feel right now.  Just know that when you come out of this funk that we are here waiting for you.  We will not abandon you or turn on you.  We will not make you feel worse than you already do.  We are here to boost you up and help you to see how truly beautiful you are.  We are here to help you get to goal.  We are here for you to lean on - and that time is now.  Lean on us and let us help you.  Tell us what to do and we will do it.  Although I don't know you very well, I know you have a lot on your plate right now.  Stress can sabotage weight loss - I know that firsthand.  So try to do anything you can to be conscious about your feelings and try to not let them interfere with your weightloss goals.  No matter what, we love you.  And we all want to help you be happy and healthy. BTW, your doctor should not be worried about our group.  He should be more worried if we didn't have one!  I think your doctor has issues.  It's like he's jealous or something.  Love,  Susan

Your post made my cry it was so sweet. Like you said we don't know each other that well, but you cared enough to send this beautiful message to me. You were so kind to me at the beach and I am just honored to know you! I cannot get over the wonderful people that have come into my life this past year, I have friends,no family for life . I know I do not always post a lot, but I lurke and keep an eye on those I cherish! I cannot thank you enough, maybe a billion thank you's coming your way and that is still not enough!  You are an angel! Patti Much love and thanks for the support, it is an overwhelming feeling!

Patti, I'm so sorry to hear you had a bad day at the doctors. Every time I have been it seems more like they  stress on the bad stuff instead of how great we have done since surgery. I know they want all of us to lose to goal, hell it makes their statistics look better, but we all can't be the perfect GB patients and lose as fast as they want us to. I know, I am the poster child for slow weight loss after GB surgery, and I hear about it at each visit to Dr. B's. So, I get depressed and it just makes me want to eat, lol. I have to kick my ass and get over it and move on, I know I am losing and my body has always lost slow. I was suppose to lose 14 pounds in 3 months, and I know I can if I cut off an arm or leg, so far I have lost maybe 5-6 pounds,.So cheer up and just do the best you can. You have done too damn good to let this knock you down. Love Ya! Mary

Thanks Mary, I am sorry you have to go thru this each time. It is devastating. I am the sam way, I deal with my problems by eating and damn it I have to stop. There is no magic pill, I have to do it on my own. Am I strong enough and do I have it in me??/ I sure hope so. Love you, Patti Have missed Sonny, tell him I said hi!!!

Oh Patti, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. As I have told you before I went through the same thing when I was 3months out and it devastated me. The one positive thing that came from it, is it put me back on the right track. You can not let this get you down. You have done incredible. We all have. I'm constantly comparing my weight loss to Jen's and feel like I am failing, but then I see how far I've come. I still have 79lbs to go to goal. I'm short so Dr Bours goal for me is 135.  I want you to do something that cheers me up when I begin to feel like that. Go to a store and try something on in your old size for me and I think you said it was for you too a size 26-28.  Look  how small you are in it. It just hangs off of you. Then try something on in the size your in now- 18. Look how darn good you  look and how far you have come. Then for fun try 1 size smaller. You may be surprised that it actually fits. If it doesn't fit right now, I promise it will before long. I know I'm rambling, but I want you to think about something. Don't dwell on how far you have to go and be sad, look at how far you have come and be glad. If I never lose another pound, I will still be happy because I still look better now than I have ever looked. Take it from someone who has been with you from day 1 of the journey, you look fantastic and I am very proud of you and you should be proud of yourself too. Have a wonderful day Love Ya

Thank you so much Jean. I went today for my nutrition appt with the new girl Cami. I has lost 2 pounds since Friday ao maybe I am getting back on track! I am so happy that we met and went thru this together also! You look great! Patti

Patti-
I think what Dr. Bour means with the support group, is that he is concerned some co-dependent behaviors can develop when people all have the same issue and are dealing with it. SInce our issue is food and we get this major support from each other while we are eating it can reinforce that behavior of comfort for some. I think thought if we recognize it and not let it become a reinfocement behaior that he will not be as concerned. Maybe we should have support group at barnes and nobels one night and have no food or drinks but just good talking that we all are so good at doing.

I am sorry your visit did not go well. We do like to take that validation of his concern lecture and intenalize it into anger (or at least I did) and slip back into those emotional eating habits. It is so hard not to cope in that way. I have lately found keeping an emotional journal in the kitchen has been helpful. When I am stressed, upset, depressed, emtional to whatever. I find myself in the kitchen, instead of getting food. I get a glass of water and my journal. I sit down begin to write my feelings in my journal and how I feel the hopless need to eat. Even if I can not write the words or emotions I sit there for at least 15 minutes stairing at the blank page, but running through in my mind what I am to chicken to write down. I drink my water and have a firm talking to myself as well. Because I know if I use the food with my stressors I will fell better only momentairly and then will end up beating self up even more after..and for me that leads to eating more. I dont know if it would be helpful for you Patti, but maybe it is worth a try. In the end know you are not along with this...we all strugg and will give you the support we can.

Laurie

Thanks so much, I have just ordered a journal and am going to give it a try! I thank you for the advice! Patti