Need Some Support

Ok some of you have met me a few months ago.  Others I have talked to online.  I feel this is the only place I can tak with people who will understand.  I have just move me and my children in to my mothers house.  Leaving my husband.  I have been misarable since I cam back from Mexico.  My husband has drug me thru the ringer.  He put me in the hospital.  (  I thought He broke my nose and jaw.)  He has threated me non stop.  He is seeing other women.  IIt seems the more weight I drop the madder he becomes.  I just need to get this off my chest b/c I dont really have anyone to talk to about these things.  I refuse to let him keep hurting me.  The last straw was when he was talking to my babys telling them I was just a *****   I mean he is the one sleeping around yet I'm the *****  I dont care what happions between us he should not bring the girls in to it ( they are 3 and 1) Thanks for listen to my rant I hope to go to the ups meeting tommrow but I dont know yet. God Bless, Cari

Sorry to hear this Cari,  I think it was smart for you to leave him.  I do not think he should tell your kids lies about you.   That is awful and they are so young they don't know what that is.  My Mom always told me that the 1st time he hit me it was his fault and the 2nd was mine.  I have a great husband that has never lifted a hand to me, Thank God.  I will keep you in my prayers and God Bless.

No matter what happens, don't go back to him.  Get a restraining order if you have to.  He won't change.  He sounds like my father.  He was a cheater.  My father never hit my mother, but he constantly told her she was fat and cheated on her.  When she would lose weight or fix herself up and dress nice, he would call her a *****  Its insecurity, he wants you to think you are not worthy of him.  If he sees you feeling good about yourself, he has to knock you down a notch..mentally or physically.  My dad is no longer married to my mom and has mellowed out TONS, but he still has this  type of relationship with my stepmom.  We yell at him, but he laughs it off.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my Dad to pieces, but I have told him more than once, that if he had been my husband I would have killed him along time ago... You have got to stay away from him.  Sorry you are going through this, but you have to do it for the sake of your children.  They need to know that this is not normal.  NEVER EVER let a man put his hands on you.  ESPECIALLY in front of your girls.  If you have to, carry a baseball bat wherever you go. As a matter of fact, I may carry one too, just in case I see your husband.  I might hit him a couple of times just for the hell of it...

or a box cutter right  you know how that latin macho is

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this Cari and am glad that you have found the support to leave your husband.  Be strong.  My husband of 31 years decided he didn't want to be married about 3 months after I had my surgery.  I think they are threatened by our losing weight...I don't understand it.  But, you will be fine...just keep telling yourself that! I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

SORRY to hear this going on in your life right now ,when it should be the best itme in your life with losing weight & getting your life back,no one needs to be treated like that ,will say a prayer for you & your family that all will work out for the best

Hi Cari, I think you are doing the right thing by leaving. You dont deserve to be anyone punching bag! You are brave and you deserve much better. God bless you, Lucinda

I'm so sorry to hear this Cari. The only advice I can give you is to keep away from him. I have never understood men that hit women and ones that do, don't deserve to have a woman in their life. Don't fall into the old trap of letting him smooth it over by saying he will never do it again, once they hit  you it usually always continues. You deserve better and so do your girls. If he can't deal with your weight loss now he probably will just get worse with the more weight you loose. Your starting a new life by losing weight, now you can start a new life by finding a real man who doesn't feel he has to slap you around because he is insecure. Keep us posted on what's going on, you don't need to go through this alone. And please continue to come to our UPS meetings. Mary

Cari,  I am so sorry about this!!!  You come here and whine and complain and vent all you want and when you need to.  We have shoulders for you to cry on and ears to listen!   I would get that restraining order and get an emergency court date for sole custody of the kids and not allow him ANY visitations.  They are too young!  And if he is like that with you, it is only a matter of time before it rolls down to your kids, especially the older they get!  Stand proud that you had the courage to leave him!  You deserve better and so do your children!  I have a friend who is going through this now and I see what she has gone through and I know it is tough.  But stand strong and get a hard core atty that will fight for you and your children!   Julie

Oh Cari, I am so sorry...I am praying for you and your family! 

~ Deidre