Friday Funnies

During class, a teacher was attempting to teach good manners. She asks a student, "Michael, if you were on a date, having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you needed to use the bathroom?" she asked. "Just a minute, I have to go pee." The teacher replied, "That would be rude and impolite! What about you John, how would you say it?" "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back." The teacher responded, "That's better, but it's still not nice to use the word bathroom at the table. And you Peter, how would you show your good manners?" "I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment, I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner." ********** Norman was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So Norman raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but asked Norman to be quick. Five minutes later Norman returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. "I can't find it," he admitted. The teacher sat Norman down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find it now. Norman looked at the diagram, said "yes" and goes on his way. Well five minutes later he returned to the class room and says to the teacher "I can't find it". Frustrated, the teacher asked Eddie, a boy who has been at the school for awhile, to help him find the bathroom. So Eddie and Norman go together and five minutes later they both return and sit down at their seats. The teacher asks Eddie "Well, did you find it?" Eddie is quick with his reply: "Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards." *********

There was this Asian lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in London. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in exasperation, lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message and the lady went home with pork legs. The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breast. The lady got what she wanted. The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store... What were you thinking? Helloooooooooo, her husband speaks English!!

HAHAHAHAHAAAA. I loved the first one best of all...Too funny. Have a great day Kathy. Love jennifer

Thanks for the laugh Kathy! I'm not blonde, but I just don't get the 2nd one?! Any helpful hints? Love the last one especially! Teresa

I think the teacher thought he couldn't find the bathroom when in fact he couldn't find his winkey because he had his boxers on backwards. You know the little opening the guys have to pull it out and go. Hope that helps ya. LOL...you made me laugh. Love Jennifer..Someone please tell me to get off this thing and get ready for work...LOL...Gotta run..Love Jennifer

 You said "winky"...

LOL     I needed a laugh too!! 

  Too funny Kathy...thanks for the laugh. Hope you have a great long weekend and your cookout goes well. Susann