VENTING

Yesterday I was determined to have a good day. I was in a good mood, I had a good night sleep, my back didnt hurt and I wasnt stressed out! But then I got an email from dad that said I was "taking the easy way out by having WLS" He goes on further to say that he knew people that had WLS and they regained back all their weight lost and even more! I thought parents were supposed to be supportive and encouraging. I dont know where my parents were when JESUS was handing out those characteristics, BUT THEY DIDNT GET ANY!!! It is so heartbreaking to know that I dont have their support. And more irritating that they think WLS is the "easy way out" having your stomach divided and intestines re-routed is FAR FROM EASY!!!! Changing the rest of your life is FAR FROM EASY!!! Markng the decision that your future health is more important than your fear is FAR FROM EASY!!!! BUT I AM IRRITATED THAT MY DAD OF ALL PEOPLE, WHO IS OBESE HIMSELF WOULD SAY THAT TO ME!!! IT REALLY HURT ME. BUT I'LL BE OK. I WILL HEAD DOWN THIS ROAD WITH MY HUSBAND, MY KIDS, MY SISTER AND MY GOD AND I WILL BE SUCCESSFUL!!!! SO THERE!!! sorry for yelling and being a big ol baby... but TODAY WILL BE A GOOD DAY!!!

I'm so sorry that you got that email. Before I had my surgery my mom, sister, and even husband felt like that. They all wanted me to try "one more time diet and exercise" Sometimes I think that my husband still feels like that. Its funny because none of them have a weight problem. My Dad has always struggled with his weight and he told them to stop the negative stuff immediately and support me. Maybe your dad is somewhat envious deep inside that you have chosen to get healthy. I don't think that anyone who hasn't struggled with weight can ever give us advice. THEY DO NOT KNOW. Chrystal, You just go ahead with your plans, lean on your support system and talk to us and show your parents how wrong they are. I'm saving a spot on the loser's bench for you. Mary

The only people that think this is the "easy way out" are the ones who have never had the surgery. Everyone always knows someone who knows someone who died or gained all their weight back. Most of the time you couldn't get any specific names or situations. If he is overweight too, I'm sure he is taking some sort of blood pressure, diabetes, cholesterol, or heart medicine. Tell him he is taking the easy way out by not controlling those things with diet and exercise. Its the truth. You will come across these people all the time. Its just that they are misinformed. After your surgery, don't be surprised if he sees the truth and does a complete 180. Once they see that you still have to watch what you eat (even more than before) and that you still have to exercise, they start singing a different tune. Heck, he may even be standing in line to get it himself! Just let those comment roll of your back. You are doing this for YOU anyway. Kathy

ok.. now that I sit here crying... i am sure that my "friend" is on her way... BUT i just want you guys to know that I would NEVER be completing this journey without the board!!! and THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING SO COOL!!!!

Crystal: My Mom said the same thing - all parents must get the same instruction booklet. I told her I wasn't taking the "easy way out" - but "the only way left" and she got off my back - now she's a big supporter after seeing that I'm off all my medications and enjoying life again. Glad to hear that you have other people in place that will give you the support you need and remember we're all here for you too. Good Luck Colleen

Keep that sassy attitude strong. We've all had experience with someone-or-another in our lives, preaching the old "Just WORK at it a little harder, and you'll lose the weight" stuff. Hell, there was a time in my life when I convinced myself that WLS was the easy route ... this was when I was trying to talk myself out of having it. I believe my exact words were, "If I'm going to have to eat less and exercise AFTER surgery anyway, why should I have the surgery??!!" It made sense to me at the time. Just keep your eyes on your goal, Crystal. You must go where your heart leads you.

Crystal, unfortunately people say things they have no idea about. I really didn't get that much slack from my family and I didn't tell any one at work. My husband did say one time months after I had the surgery about "easy way out" and needless to say I have not heard those words out of his mouth again. You just keep on the road that you are going... feeling good about what you are doing for yourself. This is for you... and your family. But mostly for you and your wellbeing. You will not regret this decision... I know I would do it again tomorrow. We are here for you. I am here for you. I will be your cheerleader and I am scooching over to make room for you on the loser's bench. You can do it!!! Hang in there... Pam

It is hard when we dont get the support we would like from our family and close friends. I heard the same about "easy way out" and we all that have been through it know it is so not the case. I went out with my parents twice with my graduation Monday. The first meal my mom kept trying to make me eat more, I said I was full. Then she overate and blamed it on me because I did not eat enough! The second meal it was my dad- we ate very late due to the cermoney and he was starving. I ordered us some chips and salsa. I ate a few and between he and my mom they ate the rest and another half basket. When the meal came, I ate half and he ate all of his. Then after the meal was over he asked should I have ate what I did. I told him the meat and potatoes and veggies were all fine but the chips were not a good choice. So for the next five mintues I heard a lecture of how I needed to make sure I followed the plan or I would gain all my weight back. I shared that with you to let you know we all have those moments. SOmetimes it is from ignorance of what we are going through. Sometimes it is from jelliously. Sometimes it is they think they are being supportive, but it is recieved far from it. Just use us as a sounding board and we will listen. I chose not to tell my partents until 2 weeks prior to my surgery even though I had known for 3 months when my surgery date was, due to I knew their reaction would be to the surgery. So hang in there and surround yourself with as much positive support as you can.

In one way or another, everyone said what I was thinking. You are not being a big ole baby, we all want the people we love the most to be supportive of us. For what ever their reason may be, they can't. So you must do what you have to do for you. I had to seperate myself from those negative people before my surgery. Now 3 months into it, they see I look and feel so much better. When I did talk to those people, I didn't talk about my surgery before I had it. Now some of those same people are still negative. My friend of 30 years, tells me about someone she knows that had the surgery years ago, and because she is sick from something else, my friend still blames it on the surgery. She also can't tell me for one second that I look good or even that she can tell I have lost any weight. I know that is how she is. Even though I don't like it or agree with it, it is up to me to simply walk away and surround myself with positive people. I refuse to give her my energy. This is your time to do what you have to do for yourself. Don't let anyone talk you into it, but don't let anyone talk you out of it either. Today will be a good day, and with this surgery you have the opportunity to make tomorrow great!!!!! Deb

Thank you for all the support! I really am blessed to have you guys. Now... if I could just get to one of those meetings....Im such a flake!