Friday Funny...

Happy Mother's Day and Nana's Day to all my wonderful sisters out there. I am not sure if you have seen this one yet but it fits right into Mother's Day.... Love you all!!!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Ellen Show was on and she read this submission to a contest from a viewer: So, we had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died.  Jack was a great cat and the kids would carry him around and sit on  him and nothing ever bothered him.  He used to hang out and nap all  day long on this mat in our bathroom. Well, we have 3 kids and at the time of this story they were 4 years  old, 3 years old and 1 year old.  The middle one is Eli.  Eli really loves  chapstick.  LOVES IT  He kept asking to use my chapstick and then  losing it.  So finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I  keep my chapstick and how he could use it whenever he wanted to but he needed to put it right back in the drawer when he was done. Last year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush around and  try to get ready for Church with everyone crying and carrying on.  My  two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box.  I am trying to  nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up.   Everything is a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a  wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood. We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car and I am  looking for Eli.  I have searched everywhere and I finally round the  corner to go into the bathroom.  And there was Eli.  He was applying  my chapstick very carefully to Jack's . . . rear end.  Eli looked  right into my eyes and said "chapped."  Now if you have a cat, you  know that he is right--their little butts do look pretty chapped.   And, frankly, Jack didn't seem to mind. And the only question to really  ask at that point was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to  the cat's behind or the hundredth. And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little  creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they've been using your chapstick on the cat's butt.

Here's more! ~~~~~~~~~~ A family was having dinner on Mother's Day. For some reason the mother was unusually quiet. Finally the husband asked what was wrong. "Nothing," said the woman. Not buying it, he asked again: "Seriously, what's wrong?" Well, I'll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned and fed the kids for 15 years and on Mother's Day, you don't even tell me so much as 'Thank you'." "Why should I? Not once in 15 years have I gotten a Father's Day gift." "Yes," she said... "But I'm their real mother." ~~~~~~~~~~~ Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their elderly mother. The first said: "I built a big house for our mother." The second said: "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver." The third said: "I've got you both beat. You know how Mom enjoys the Bible and you know she can't see very well. I sent her a brown parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty monks in a monastery 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years but it was worth it. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot will recite it." Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks. She wrote to the first son: "Milton, the house you built is too big. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house." She wrote to the second son: "Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home all the time, so I never used the Mercedes... and the driver is SO rude." She wrote to the third son: "Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to know what your mother likes... The chicken was delicious." ~~~~~~~~ Ten Principles of Motherhood... 1. To be in your children's memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today. 2. The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side. 3. Raising a teenager is like nailing Jell-O a tree. 4. Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car. 5. There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it. 6. Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm. 7. Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch. 8. Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers. 9. An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don't have small children. 10. Kids really brighten a household; they never turn off any lights.

Happy Mother's Day to you, Lovely Pam. Here's my favorite "Mom" laugh: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3cSwOTalz4