Funniest True Story EVER!!! (Long)

Last night, Teagan was eating a blow pop (the suckers with the gum in the middle) and at somepoint went to the bathroom. Now she was taking a LONg time in there, but I thought it was because she plays inthe water when she washes her hands. Later on in the evening she goes back into the bathroom and starts screaming for me. I (in the middle of balancing my checkbook) scream back "What do you need???" She says "Mom!! My kiki (her girly parts) is attached!!!" Well, I'm thinking "of course it is attached..." then she says it hurts so I run in there to see what is happening. APPARENTLY, she was taking so long in the bathroom earlier because her gum had fallen out of her mouth and she couldn't find it and was trying DESPERATELY to find it before I found out. when she couldn't find it, she just sauntered out of the bathroom and pretended like nothing happened. Hoping that I would never find gum stuck to my rug or some peice of furniture. TURNS OUT, it was in her underwear!!! And her underwear was STUCK to her body. Then once we got that taken care of, we found more gum in her BUTT CHEEKS!! And her butt cheeks were STUCK TOGETHER!! SO we go upstairs and try to get the gum off. It would not come off! And every time, I would let her butt cheeks go, they would stick back together again! And everytime I would pry them apart, there was this stringy gooey, pink mess of bubble gum. It was horrible!! David and I could'nt figure out how to get this stuff off. I told Teagan she would just have to have her butt cheeks stuck together forever. she started whining about "how was she gonna poop?" It was sooo funny. Anyway, we ended up just filling the tub with warm water and letting her sit in it for a while. It eventually came off. If it wasn't pretty much illegal, I would have filmed the whole thing. I can't WAIT to tell this story to her first date!

OMG that is so funny. Don't tell her I said that. Bless her heart I know she was scared. Shame on you for telling her that her butt checks were gonna stay stuck....LOL...I would have said the same thing to Gabriel...LOL....You are too funny. I wonder if she will want gum anytime soon....Love jennifer

She wasn't scared at all! She was giggling! So even though I wanted to laugh so hard, I was trying to act angry with her. And yeah, she was asking for gum again immediately after since she "lost" the gum she was chewing.

OMG!!! My sides are aching, my jaws are hurting and I am crying I am laughing so hard. I can just see this whole thing in my head unfolding. Poor baby. She thought she got by with it when she didn't find the gum to start with. I bet when she went back to play, she felt this "feeling" in her panties, and when she went to look, she probably thought, "OH CRAP"!!! You are such a good mommie. Thanks for the laugh. Mine are older, they make me laugh, but the things aren't like that anymore. I remember when my son was first starting to mature, he came in the livingroom to me and Trent with his pants pulled down, saying "Look!! Public hair!" I said baby, it's not public, pull your pants up, it's pubic. Then another time we were at the beach and a jelly fish stung him, and as he came running and screaming, he said, "Look! His testicles are still stuck to me!" As we laughed, we corrected him that it was tinticles not testicles.

LMAO.... thats one for the "FOREVER" file!

That was great! Poor Teagan. That will be a great first date story, rehersal dinner story, stroy to tell her children, oh you can milk this one. Tip...If she does it again, try nail polish remover with Acetone. It has been know to remove Superglue, I am sure it would make quick work of butt cheeks stuck together. I cant stop laugh, imaging the scene. Thanks for the laugh this AM Julie

The gum was DANGEROUSLY close to her vagina. I thought of that, but I was afraid to use anything more than soap and water.

OHHH Good Call! Julie

Julie were you saying a funny when you said acetone...It is spelled acetone but could be spelled assetone...Get it. The gum was stuck to her A**. LOL....Hope everyone else got it... You are too funny Julie..Love jennifer

Yea I get it! Did not think about that. I should have spelled it differently but it is still too early in the morning for me to be thinking. Julie