Hellooooooo?!?!
(deactivated member)
on 5/2/07 2:32 am - PA
on 5/2/07 2:32 am - PA
Where are you people hiding out at?
I slept in this morning and came into work late. Good thing, because my e-mail inbox is FULL. Ugh. Job security I guess. 
I need some entertainment. Somebody tell me a joke or something...
Kathy
I slept in this morning and came into work late. Good thing, because my e-mail inbox is FULL. Ugh. Job security I guess.
I need some entertainment. Somebody tell me a joke or something...
Kathy 
Ok... I have a few "funnies" for you Hope your tooth is feeling better
Two guys were discussing popular family
Trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stu said,
"I didn't sleep with my wife before we got
Married, did you?"
Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, What was her
Maiden name?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
A little boy went up to his father and asked:
"Dad, where did all of my intelligence come From?"
The father replied. "Well, son, you must have got
It from your mother, 'cause I still have mine"
-------------------------------------------------------------
A doctor examined a woman, took the
Husband aside, and said, "I don't like the
Looks of your wife at all,"
"Me neither, Doc," said the husband. "But
she's a great cook and really good with the
Kids."
----------------------------------------------------------
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if
He can remove a curse he has been living
With for the last 40 years. The Wizard says,
"Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact
Words that were used to put the curse on you.
The old man says without hesitation, "I now
Pronounce you man and wife."
-----------------------------------------------------
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A
Redneck Murder
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can
You tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
-------------------- ----------------------------------------
Two Mexican detectives were investigating
The murder of Juan Gonzalez.
"How was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun," the other detective replied
"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in
Juan."
-------------------------------------------------------------
Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
Joe: "Really?"
Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't
Believe in hell."
--------------------------------------------------------------- -----------
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband
And I passed a display of bathing suits . It had been
At least ten years and twenty pounds since I had
Even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought
My husband's advice. "What do you think?" I asked.
"Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"
"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it
All in one."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old
Granddaughter and beeped the horn by mistake.
She turned and looked at him for an explanation.
He said, "I did that by accident."
She replied, "I know that, Grandpa."
He replied, "How did you know?"
She said, "Because you didn't say "asshole" Afterwards.
Hope your tooth is feeling better
Two guys were discussing popular family
Trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stu said,
"I didn't sleep with my wife before we got
Married, did you?"
Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, What was her
Maiden name?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
A little boy went up to his father and asked:
"Dad, where did all of my intelligence come From?"
The father replied. "Well, son, you must have got
It from your mother, 'cause I still have mine"
-------------------------------------------------------------
A doctor examined a woman, took the
Husband aside, and said, "I don't like the
Looks of your wife at all,"
"Me neither, Doc," said the husband. "But
she's a great cook and really good with the
Kids."
----------------------------------------------------------
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if
He can remove a curse he has been living
With for the last 40 years. The Wizard says,
"Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact
Words that were used to put the curse on you.
The old man says without hesitation, "I now
Pronounce you man and wife."
-----------------------------------------------------
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A
Redneck Murder
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can
You tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
-------------------- ----------------------------------------
Two Mexican detectives were investigating
The murder of Juan Gonzalez.
"How was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun," the other detective replied
"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in
Juan."
-------------------------------------------------------------
Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
Joe: "Really?"
Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't
Believe in hell."
--------------------------------------------------------------- -----------
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband
And I passed a display of bathing suits . It had been
At least ten years and twenty pounds since I had
Even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought
My husband's advice. "What do you think?" I asked.
"Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"
"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it
All in one."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old
Granddaughter and beeped the horn by mistake.
She turned and looked at him for an explanation.
He said, "I did that by accident."
She replied, "I know that, Grandpa."
He replied, "How did you know?"
She said, "Because you didn't say "asshole" Afterwards.
Now I lay me
Down to sleep.
I pray the Lord
My shape to keep.
Please no wrinkles,
Please no bags,
And please lift my butt
Before it sags.
Please no age spots,
Please no grey,
And as for my belly,
Please take it away.
Please keep me healthy,
Please keep me young,
And thank you, Dear Lord,
For all that you've done.
Five tips for a woman....
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.
Everyone have a great day... 
~ Deidre Most Active
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