Some Thoughts on Fear- for Melissa...

For-Melissa, (and anyone else that might find it useful) One other thought, and maybe some info to pass on... One of the reasons they may be so anxious and "against" the surgery, Is they Love you deeply and don't want ANY Risk for you. If you are already Obese, that risk is already there. In dealing with ones own fears and maybe even helpful for the fears of others... Here's a post I have dropped on the Boards over the Years... (Sorry it's just a copy/paste of my 'old-stuff' But it sure saves the typing..... F is for.....FEAR!! I've seen several folks out here Dealing with the anxiety of upcoming surgery And thought I'd re-post- (Please skip if not an interest...) Some Thoughts about FEAR..... Everyone seems to have those Pre-Op "jitters" the week or two Before surgery. From reading this Board over the last couple of years That just seems to be a given fact. With some, It seems to be shear excitement, The kind one gets just before the wedding. And yet with others, It seems to be full-blown FEAR! I was not one of the Fearful And I've given it some thought as to Why that might have been. 2 reasons- First, I don't know that I viewed The procedure of WLS as THAT risky. Four months earlier I had just had Open Heart Surgery to replace an Aortic Valve that had been faulty since birth. I remember thinking- "Compared to an operation Where they stop my heart for 45 minutes, cut out A major portion of it, replace it with Teflon and Stainless Steel, then Hope it starts back up When they hit it with the electricity? WLS - Is a 'Walk in the Park!'" Perhaps that's why I got to be One of the Rare individuals Who had extreme complications. I don't know that I would have Been as serious about my aftercare and So completely compliant with my Dr.'s' Orders if I didn't view them at the onset as A matter of Life and Death. Jolly for me - I'm now Below Goal And I attribute that success, (Rightly or Not) to the seriousness That I felt in approaching all of my aftercare, Diet, supplements, exercise, etc.... The Second thing that kept my fear at a minimum Was a combination of my Personal Spiritual Faith And my belief in the "Odds." I do, and have done a great deal of flying in my Line of work. (A lot easier now that I fit!) I made and make as many as 40 flights a year. I've had people ask me- "Don't you ever get The feeling that one of these flights, Your Number will 'Be Up?'" I have faith in the fact that "The Odds" are MUCH greater that I'll be killed, driving Within 2 miles of my own home, than Meeting my death in an Airline Accident. My Spiritual Faith lead me early on to jokingly Pray- "Let me Make it Home, or Make the News!" That said, I'd leave it in the hands of my creator To watch over my safety, or use my Spectacular Death In such a way to focus the attention of the Media, Perhaps even the whole World, On some issue that needed to be addressed. I just didn't ever want to die in some insignificant way. Of those faiths - Odds and God The only one I think I could pass on to others Is "The Odds." Everyone has his or her own personal belief system in place, But many have a skewed view of the statistics of DEATH. We tend to hear about sensation deaths because The News doesn't cover the boring stories, or No one would watch. Here are some facts- The following are the chances of how one might die Figured over your full lifetime And calculating only those people who come in contact With the various means of Death. Example- Only counting those people who ride motorcycles- The chance of Death in a Motorcycle accident are- 1 in 1,214. Get it? Car Occupant? - 1 in 247. (And who says motorcycles are so dangerous?) Air Travel? - 1 in 4,023. (That's why I'm less afraid of flying than driving home) So, What about Surgery? Lumping ALL surgical procedures together, Tonsillectomies, Lung Transplants, Trauma Reconstruction (from all those Car accidents) The risk? Death due to Surgical Complication? - 1 in 1,222. Seems scarier than flying, But not nearly as bad as being in a car. How does it compare to other events That we take for granted? Accidentally Poisoning yourself? - 1 in 262. Being Assaulted by Someone? - 1 in 182. Burning in your home? - 1 in 1,116. Burning in a Building (such as Office) ? - 1 in 1,382 Inhalation impairment - (choking on food or under cleaners bag) ? - 1 in 665. A fall outside of your home? - 1 in 472. A Slip or Fall in your home? - 1 in 246. Yes, more people are killed each year In the tub, by a piece of soap Than die on the nations highways! For the skeptics among you- You can spend the time researching This morbid trivia yourself at- Kearl's Guide to the Sociology of Death. trinity.edu/~mkearl/death-2.html Just put the- http://www. In front of it. (told Ya this was an old re-post - pre-link days) Now all of this is not to add To your angst about the world we live in, But rather, to put it in perspective. You are more likely to be killed by an assault, in your car, In your burning home, choking on your food, or slipping On your front step or worse yet, your bathroom floor, Than you are of dying in surgery. Are you afraid to go in to your bathroom? Get in your car? Pass people in the Mall, who might very well attack you? Probably not. On this site we often get caught up in the Differing complication -vs- success rates between Lap and Open RNY, DS and Band. Those differences are very real But I avoid focusing on those options in the Same way that I avoid fostering My Spiritual Beliefs, on to others. Everyone has his or her own Salvation And it's the same when asking people Who have had what they know to be a "Life Saving Surgery," "Which is Best?" I prefer to try to opt for the notion that Pre-Op jitters really are the equivalent to The Pre-Wedding Nerves. (On that point, With the Divorce rate as is Your chance of a complication free, Super Successful WLS Are Far Greater than having your marriage last for More than 8 years!) Your Odds of Dying from Obesity related causes Are FAR greater than your Odds of your Surgery going wrong. Give your aftercare and Diet more serious and solemn Concern than you do the thought of surgery. In the long run it will be AS, If not MORE important to your health. Throw off the Shackles of FEAR! While preparing to lose Weight, Take the Time To "Lighten Up," and Let Go of Fear and "Hostile Dependencies." You Take With You, What you Embrace. Don't 'Embrace' the Negatives, Let 'Em Go!" Have the Greatest! Be Nice to the Nurses- (They're overworked) Enjoy the Drugs (As much as you can) And most importantly, Hurry home to start walking - (Away from those pounds, and) Into your New Life! Best Wishes- Dx

Wow, wonderful post and great information. Congrats on your great success and on your ability to convey the information to others. In Christ's love, Joan M

Thank you so much for posting your thoughts (I'm a big copy/paste fan, myself!). Congratulations on your own long journey~ ~Melissa