Getting More Positive Attention

I need to know if this is all in my mind. I have noticed that as I slim down, gentleman are more likely to hold the door for me as I walk into a place of business, give me a quick smile, or even a nice "Good Morning." My mom says that this is NOT all in my mind, because I am looking awesome. I wish that I felt the same, but as we all know we are our own worst critic. Just needed some words of advice from those who are going through the same experiences as I am. Iris

Its definately true. As you lose more and more weight, people are nicer to you. I've had two experiences in the gas station where men were trying to talk and flirt with me. I didn't handle it well, I ran to the car both times and left Its a part of the weight loss that I have a problem with . Even some coworkers who knew me before are much nicer now. I want to yell at them and say that I'm still the same person. You'll notice it more and more and it is sort of fun. Enjoy It!!! Mary

I would be right there with you running to car! I have never been able to take a compliment and I do not know if I ever will. From family and close friends it is one thing, from strangers, I just want to run I had an experience in the Mall on Sunday. I got cornered by one of those people that set up stands in the middle of the Mall, I hate that. He said what pretty eyes I had, I just wanted to run! Julie

It takes a while for our mids to catch up with our bodies. Even though I am past Dr. Byrne's goal and only 7 lbs away from mine, trying telling my mind that It just does not believe what I see in the mirror. I still think of myself as the 'fat chick' sometimes, especially when things do not go the way I want them to. You are normal and you are right we are our own worse critic. Take the compliments and all the door holding and hold your head up high! You did this for a healthier life and you are on the road to. All the rest, is just bonus! Julie

I felt quite invisible when I was at my heaviest weight. Seems like I would have been IMPOSSIBLE to miss, but nobody made eye contact, and hardly anyone ever spoke. Now? People won't shut up. It makes me smile some days ... other days, I get quite angry. I mean, I'm the same PERSON as I was before, but now that I weigh 135 pounds less, suddenly it's ok to say "hi" to me?? NOW they're going to ask if I need help in the store, or make small talk as we wait in lines together?? Grrrr. It was hard for me to stop trying to talk family and friends OUT of the compliments ... my sister would say, "You're looking fantastic!" ... my answer was usually, "But I still need to lose xxx pounds, and my SKIN! Do you see this skin hanging??!!" Now, after some therapy from the wonderful UPS group, my answer will usually be, "Thanks!" I still have the same old words in my head ... but I try to just smile and say thank you. The trick will be to get the negativity out of my head one of these days! Some have suggested that our attitudes are better now, and the average Joe on the street can tell this, and THAT'S why we get more positive attention now. Don't know that I totally agree with this, as I went out of my way to be smiley and friendly when I was heavier ... always trying to fit in and seem normal. Whatever it is, it's NOT your imagination ... society is "nicer" to thinner people. Don't know why. Dawn

I hear you totally. It is really neat that you posted this today. Last night, my husband and I went to the upstate game**** club meeting and I noticed some men actually looking at me and making eye contact with my husband right there. He noticed too!! It was great! My hubby never has been married or dating me as small as I am. I think my weight was a security blanket for him that no one would take me away. Now, I'm getting this attention, he is getting nervous. I love it!!! However, when I look in the mirror, I don't see a huge difference. My belly roll is a little smaller but its still there!!! I have lose skin on my arms and legs. That's all I see. I knew this before surgery but I don't think I was prepared. I still feel like I am 242 even though I weigh 158. Oh well. Guess we have to get through this too! Rachel

Rachel, I totally agree with you 100%. My husband had always been with really thin and beautiful girls then he got to be 34 and was never married or haad children and he was afraid he never would be. We met and I fell in love, as did he. Well, I too think that me being big was a security blanket for him. He just KNEW that no one would be looking at me. So, he assumed that he was safe and had no problems. Well, now that I am 93 pounds lighter (I started at 247 and am now 154) and I think he is starting to freak out. He always says stuff like "be good when you go to the store". I am going to Food Lion, not a strip club!! And I also agree with Kathy...when I met my husband I was this quiet, shy, person who didn't want anyone to notice me because of my size. Now, I am so much more social and I want to do things and go out! I was never involved with things at my son's school, I was too afraid I'd embarass him. Now, I volunteer every chance I get and I love being there with him. Hopefully all of this will get easier and I will learn how to deal with my "new husband". Hope everyone has a great day! Jodie

Honey, its becasue you are HOT! Took me a while, but the best and easiest way to get past the uncomfortableness is just to smile and say "thanks!" I find that now that I am smaller, I tend to have more confidence and look more people in the eye. Becasue of that I don't seem so closed off and they are more likely to say hello to me. It took me a while to come to this realization, but if you read some of my past blogs, I used to resent people for it. I felt that I hadn't changed, but I have. I am still the same person, but I carry myself differently. It makes all the difference in the world. I think that happens with all of us. Enjoy it. You've earned it! Kathy

Let me just play "devils advocate" a little bit here...... Not ALL people are nicer to the thin person.......... Some of my co-workers liked the FATTER me better..... especially those that are STILL (and I truly hate the word "fat" so I shall phrase this nicer) especially those who are weight challenged..... and it is not in my mind...... and it is mostly the WOMEN..... and it is soooooooooooo ridiculous and I have just about given up trying to be sensitive to them..... and..... the people I meet that never knew me before, when I was heavy.... (and not all people) but some.... I get glares.... and yes.... I used to glare at thin girls myself.... lol so hey.... "I getcha...." but its very hard.... sometimes I just want to blend in.. sometimes I dont want to be noticed or have a door opened for me. hugs...

It is true. But some of it is in your mind, the part of your mind that is more confident. You are feeling more confident now than you did before, and it shows. Men like confident women. They don't like arrogent women, but confident one's. You are looking good and you know it, so let it show. I have always found that when I look better, I feel better. When I feel better, it shows. So sweetie, flurt, wink, let them open the door for you and flash your beautiful smile at them. You have come a long way and deserve to enjoy the fruits of your labor. Deb