i feel very FAT

How about one of those Months....4-5 to be exact!!! Fortunately, I'm not really gaining....but I have been playing around with the same 5 pounds. And my fat girl self has always either gained or lost....never maintained!!! So, if I'm not losing, then I must be gaining....therefore = failure!!! But in reality, I believe that we have just become "normal"!!! Yay!! And by being normal, we are just like those skinny girls that say they need to lose 20, 30, 40 pounds!! So....going to the gym every day is going to be the best medicine (besides the Lexapro!!) that you can do for yourself!! And really watch the carbs that you are eating. Like Herb said, really look at when you are eating. I am a habit eater, and I am working on how to replace those habits with better habits...it's hard!!! But just keep remembering where you were last year at this time. You are not the same person...you look awesome!!! Hugs, Dianne

Thanks so much Dianne!!! Your avatar is Beautiful!!!! you saying that we have become "normal" really helps! I never thought of myself and "normal" by any means, and I do suppose even the skinny girls feel fat and want to lose the extra 20-40 lbs.. you really put things into perspective for me.. and youre doing wonderful! Jen

Jen, Maybe it's something in the air, but I have been the same way lately. Dr. Bour topped it off by telling me that I should have been down 10 pounds more than I am, and I am at the bottom of the curve. Dr. Russell told me to double up on the Celexa that I take, but I don't think that is going to help the problem of not losing weight like I should. It's like every other thing in the past, my weight loss just drags, I get depressed and next thing I know I'm back to old habits too. I wake up feeling like a bloated toad alot and I just don't see that much of a change in how I look. I have only dropped 2 pants sizes in 3 months, that sucks. Some one I work with is just 4 weeks post-op and has lost more than I have in 3 months, so talk about depressed. You know your not fat and that it's just your head playing with you right now, just don't let it get to you. You have done fantastic and have been that inspiration to a lot of us. Cheer up and everything will be OK. Your beautiful girl! Mary

*hugs* mary.. Im sorry youve been in this slump with me! and you being "10 lbs behind" is not alot! my dad is 25-30 lbs behind right now.. But hes losing tons of inches and im sure you are too!!! Alot of times the scale does not show the loss as much as your clothes and inches! You look great! and are doing wonderful.. I bet by the end of Feb you will drop another pants size! thatd be 3 in 3 mths! Thanks for your kind words!!! jen

My Sister, Like everyone else I can relate, I have not really lost that much in about a month and 1/2 and feel like a failure. I just started going to the gym last week. I am sweating and working out and am proud of that however I am very down about the lack of weight loss, I know after that 6month "honeymoon period" it does not drop off as fast. I think people are looking at me thinking what a looser, she had surgery and is not losing anymore weight. Now about the "issues" the only thing that I can say about that is if it is not working for you then get rid of it if you can! I am trying to take that advise myself and it is hard. I am dropping "friends" that are not supportive and trying to rid myself of certain things that depress me and bring me down. One of those things is about 220 pounds and 6'2 "and a very dominent force in my life since I was 15 and it is very difficult to remove myself since we share a child and I still love him, but cannot be with him. If I were I know we would be miserable but.... I thinking beng able to rid myself of as much as I can is the only way to maintain self preservation. The food addiction is so strong and does not just go away because we cannot eat it. I have never dumped on anything and that scares me to death. I was really hoping for the opposite, so (in my mind) if it makes me sick I will not want it and damn it that did not happen. I don't know what to do about that either. We all are going thru the same thing but do not know the answer to the question on how to get rid of the obsession/addiction. Jen, you look beautiful, you are a wonderful person and a great friend to a lot of people. I am proud of you and am so very glad we met that dreaded EGD day! If you ever want to talk please remember I am always here for you! Love you, Patti

YOU HAD SOME VERY INSIGHTFUL THOUGHTS IN YOUR POST MS PATTI. ONE THING THAT HIT ME WAS WHERE YOU SAID THAT "WE ... DO NOT KNOW THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTION ON HOW TO GET RID OF THE OBSESSION/ADDICTION." ... I DON'T THINK WE CAN. IF IT WERE DRUGS, WE'D KNOW A DRUG ADDICT IS ALWAYS A DRUG ADDICT; YOU JUST LEARN TO TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME & YOU GET STRONGER & STRONGER, BUT THE YEARNING FOR DRUGS NEVER REALLY LEAVES YOU ... SAME WITH ALCOHOLICS. THE DIFFERENCE WITH US IS THAT DRUG ADDICTS & ALCOHOLICS HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO NEVER USE THEIR DRUG AGAIN. NO ONE "HAS" TO USE DRUGS OR ALCOHOL. BUT WE OBESE PEOPLE, WE HAVE TO USE OUR "DRUG OF CHOICE" MULTIPLE TIMES EVERY SINGLE DAY OF OUR LIVES, SO OUR "ADDICTION" TENDS TO TAUNT US ALL THE TIME. THE ONLY THING WE CAN DO TO GET STRONGER, IS TO MAKE BETTER CHOICES, HEALTHIER CHOICES ... BUT, WE CAN NEVER GET AWAY FROM OUR ADDICTION TO FOOD. FOOD IS EVERYWHERE. ONE OF THE REPETITIONS I SEE IS THAT WHEN WE BECOME OVERLY STRESSED OR BORED, WE WANT TO "MEDICATE" OURSELVES" WITH FOOD LIKE WE DID BEFORE SURGERY. I HEAR IT A LOT IN THE POSTS & I KNOW I DO THAT AS WELL. SO, THAT MAY BE A REAL BIG AREA WE ALL NEED TO WORK ON. LEARNING BETTER COPING SKILLS ... LEARNING TO TAKE "ACTION" INSTEAD OF "REACTING" WITH OUR OLD STANDBY, FOOD. IT'S GETTING TOUGHER NOW BECAUSE THE POUCH IS NO LONGER OUR MIRACLE CURE ... NOW, WE HAVE TO LOSE THE REMAINING WEIGHT LIKE MOST EVERYONE ELSE ... WE HAVE TO MAKE WISE, HEALTHY DECISIONS & OUR CHANGED PATTERNS AREN'T REAL SOLID YET. BUT, WE'RE ALL SO MUCH BETTER THAN WE WERE BEFORE SURGERY ... &, IF YOU NOTICE, WE ARE RECOGNIZING WHERE OUR WEAKNESSES ARE & WHAT WE STILL NEED TO WORK ON. THAT, IN ITSELF, IS FANTASTIC. WE NEVER RECOGNIZED ANY OF THIS BEFORE SURGERY; WE JUST PUT ON ANOTHER 20 #s WHEN WE CAME UP AGAINST AN ISSUE. SO, LADIES & GENTS, WE REALLY ARE SO MUCH BETTER & WISER THAN WE WERE ... TAKE A BIG BREATH ... PUT YESTERDAY BEHIND YOU ... &, GO FORWARD AGAIN! GOD BLESS Y'ALL ... DAWN & NICk

Thank you so much patti!!!! my Sister! I too am SOOO Very glad I had you across the hall to calm my nerves that awful EGD day! I met an that day and it was you! And your "issue" , the 220 lbs one, can go on somewhere else because you deserve sooo much better and i know that you will find it soon!!! And if not, then hey have fun being single! Like tonight Thanks for everything youve done for me.. youve been a great friend! and youre doing GREAT!!! Love you! jen

You are so welcome and right back at you! I could not get the membership in time for tonight but did you say if I can come you can sign me in? If so I will call you on your cell and have you meet me at the door ok??? Love you lots! Patti :hug:

hey girl, were gonna go eat at On the Border at 6:30 before we go out, so i dont know where were gonna go for sure or what time, id love to go to chiefs but some are wanting sportys ugh. call me and ill let you know what were doing ! jen

It is your birthday, you should go where you want to go!!!! Have a greattime and hope to see you later. Patti