This has been so hard, Not sure I could do it again!

I am sooo discouraged, and today Tommy met me at the border, and we got home about an hour later. My bum was sooo numb and tired. I will back up....this morning I went in to Dr. Fuentes around 7:45am and he saw the burn marks on my pubic area and said I had a severe burn, like 3rd degree from the tape!! and glue!!! from the bandages!! I have never heard of that, but I suppose. I saw it, so I believe it. It looks so bad, 2 spots about the size of a half dollar, and 2 spot the size of a quarter. They hurt like they are constantly on fire, and look disgusting!! Bloody, red, and layers of skin burned. Then he took out my drains, and that was the best part of the day. I had no idea he had so much tubing in. I had about 1 ft in the left side, that went all the way around to my butt, and the same on the right side. It did not hurt on the left, but it did on the right, it hurt bad when he yanked them out. So then I got back to the house, and we all had lunch together and then took a small siesta, and then Alex, the driver who did not pick me up last week, picked me up with one of the other girls staying in the house, Jeanne, and we crossed over. It wasn't bad at all, and the border patrol did not make us get out since we had surgery, but they were all about where I got my pain meds, states or wherever, and whose was whose and all of the medication/prescription info. So Tommy and I got back to our house around 5:30, and I finally got undressed and saw myself. OH MY GOD!!! I look hideous and I have no hips, and I am sooo swollen I look like a bowling pin, but no curves. I have never looked so bad in my entire life, and I can't stand up straight and I can't even put into words how badly I look. Its awful and I just broke down and cried, and wished I had never done this. I know I am still swollen, but this is awful bad. The scar is sooo bad, it just sticks out like a red, sore thumb, and the burns on my pubic area are sooo bad too. I don't know what I should do. I get my stitches out on the 28th, maybe, unless its too crowded at the border. I thought I would shoot for the 28th and if I don't make it, he said it wouldn't matter if they were in a long time, as he would rather them be there and be a little burried, and he can always pull them out. I just don't know what to do, nothing I can do now other than lay around and heal... Tommy is in a foul mood, and I know he has had his hands full and trying to take care of me and going back to work and then coming back to get me. He is sooo sweet, but I can't help me feeling bad, and him being in a bad mood and snitty and foul right back doesn't make me feel any better!! This has been a traumatic experience, and not what I expected, and while I know its emotional to say the least, I just don't have a clue what I expected. I did not expect to be this swollen, and even my legs and feet are swollen, and I actully weigh 6 pounds more than I did when I got there, and he took off 6 pounds of skin, plus I usually lose while I am sick, so I think I have about 15 pounds of fluid in me that needs to come out, but I am having a hard time peeing too. So, that is my experience...not so great, but the surgical part was worse than I imagined, more pain and swelling and the recovery house was awesome, the one bright light, and meeting those 2 ladies, and now trying to recover on my own, its just overwhelming, and right here at Christmas. Sorry not a happy post, just miserable, and I wanted to tell the truth and my experience. I love you guys, and you were the first ones I thought of when I got back home. Deb

Hang in there,sweetie!! It will get better. Give yourself a chance to heal. I'll keep you i my prayers! Hugs, Dianne

The burn marks will heal......remember I said I had them too my first time out. My PS actually directed me to go home and shower with baby oil to loosen ALL of the steri strips up and pull them off ......even the ones that weren't causing an issue. Mine were related to tension though from swelling that set in after they were placed. And swelling you know is quite natural and it will affect your outcome at this point. Are you using compression garments at all? They will tremedously help with your final shape (especially if you had lipo) and will help with swelling. If you're anything like me, it's around the 3 week mark that the fluids you gained will magically go away and you'll start to see a change from the surgery. With my last surgery, I freaked out 'cause I gained 11.5 lbs overnight! It did go away.....and later came back as fat.....but that's another story!! One final word of advice. If you have external stitches versus a running stitch line under the skin, take them out sooner rather than later so you can avoid the permanent railroad trackmarks from the stitches. Sounds like you have the external stitches though since you said something about the doc digging them out? Hang in there.

IT'S SO GOOD OF YOU TO OFFER YOUR KNOWLEDGE ON PLASTICS ISSUES, MS KIMBERLY. MOST OF US ARE JUST WINGIN' IT. BUT, YOU REALLY KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKIN' ABOUT & THAT HELPS ALL OF US LEARN & DO THE RIGHT THINGS. I HAVE AN AWFUL RAILROAD TRACK MARK SCAR LIKE YOU WERE TALKIN' ABOUT. &, IT NEVER WENT AWAY OR SOFTENED UP. GOD BLESS YOU ... DAWN & NICk

Deb, So GLAD you're home, and so glad that Tommy was there with you for your surgery. I was so worried about you! Now, you just have to rest, rest, rest, and heal. I know that's going to be hard, especially since you are so uncomfortable. Britt and Mary had trouble with fluid retention after their TTs and they thought it might have been from too much activity and not enough rest. You've had MAJOR surgery, so it's going to take awhile to recover. Don't worry about your weight, Silly! Just take good care of yourself and don't push too hard. I'm sure that Tommy is worried about you. Once you heal, you'll be gorgeous. You just have to be patient again, just like when you started this whole process. Sending you hugs..... I love you, B

Deb- I am so sorry that this experience was not what you thought or expected. It saddened me a great deal to read your post knowing how excited you were about this procedure. As the other ladies have said, swelling is a big deal, and your results will change DRAMITICALLY once this and the excess fluids go away. Someone else also mentioned compression garments- this is something that you DEFINITELY should have. I have had one on since Friday morning, and believe me this has helped me tremendously. I can;t say enough about how much swelling alters your outcomes- everyday there is some type of change.... Please continue to be encouraged and know that I am thinking about and praying for you... When you are up to it, please email me your number so that I can call you soon... We love and miss you tremendously!! Towana

Thanks everyone I do have a compression garment, and I have to wear a long t shirt under it because of my incision, and I do wear it all the time....Day and Night. I have internal stitches as well as external ones. I will get Tommy to take some pics of me when he gets home today, for my records too, to show how much I swelled, and then to show when the swelling is gone. I know its just swelling, but its amazing how much fluid you retain after this procedure. I am trying to drink and pee as much as possible. Its just depressing. I know I will like it once I see it after I am healed, but I can't see that point yet. I am just so emotional right now, and fluid filled!! :cheers: I am laying in bed now, just took my antibiotics, pain pills, and colace, so hopefully I can poop today. I also ate 1/2 a banana. I am going to try to sleep most of the day and stay down and see if I can't get this fluid out. I weighed this morning and I am 154.4, and I went in at 148, and he took off 6 pounds, so that makes me wonder what I really weigh. Thanks again for everything and all the support. I know I will get through it, but I keep telling myself that its only temporary, and my head knew this would happen, but its my emotions and heart that I have to convince!! I will just keep praying and leaning on God. He is the one who will help me through it Thanks again ladies, I love you guys, and I really mean that Deb

Hey Deb, I just know that you will come through all of this even more gorgeous than before. You are so beautiful inside and out. Remember all of the horror pictures that you have seen, and how gorgeous the end results are. I have to go back Friday morning for Dr W do insert a new drain tube and tighten the skin that stretched when I started retaining pockets of fluid so badly. He has aspirated twice, and drained more than 200 ccs of fluid each time. I was truly pleased and impressed with him, honestly I hadn't noticed that my skin is stretched. I have such a flat tummy compared to anything I've ever had before. Plus my belly button is beautiful. Dr. Widenhouse pointed out that it was a little flabby, said that he wanted to take me back into the OR, put in an extentive drain tube, tighten the skin again, and leave the drain in for a LONG time. The point of my long story is that I really wish that you were here. Towana, you and I could have a recovery party together, watch chick flicks and take our pains meds. How fun could that be. My husband is very supportive, but he is somewhat dreading how needy and whiny I will become, he and Tommy may need a group complaint section. I will email you later. Lots of prayers headed out west for you and Tommy. Love, Mary

You have been so sweet to me on this board and the only way i know how to encourage you now is to tell you how much your page and blog have inspired me! My husband is new to the blog thing but I told him about this group and how great y'all are, and then showed him your page and lady D's page and he is so encouraged now. I think you are so brave and honest on your page and I know that you can get through this with shining colors. Just look at how far you've come!!

OHHH MS DEB ... I KNOW THIS IS JUST TEMPORARY, BUT I JUST ACHE FOR YOU RIGHT NOW. I WAS WITH TOWANA RIGHT AFTER HER SURGERY & SHE WAS AS FLAT AS CAN BE. THEN, SHE BOUNCED IN THE CAR WHEN WE TOOK HER HOME, STOPPED BY THE PHARMACY FOR HER MEDS & WALKED AROUND THERE, GOT OUT OF THE CAR AGAIN & INTO HER HOME ... SHE DID ALL THE FOO-FOO STUFF & GOT DRESSED & BY THE TIME SHE TOOK HER "AFTER" PICTURES THAT EVENING, SHE LOOKED LIKE SHE HAD GAINED 10 #s AROUND THE MIDDLE. LIKE I SAID BEFORE, HER PICS JUST DON'T DO HER JUSTICE BECAUSE SHE RETAINED FLUID BIG TIME JUST WITH THAT NORMAL BIT OF BOUNCING & MOVEMENT. BUT, WHEN I TALKED TO HER THE NEXT DAY, SHE SAID THAT SHE WAS LITERALLY STAYING IN BED RESTING ALL DAY (I THREATENED HER WITH A GREAT AMOUNT OF PAIN IF SHE DIDN'T ) & THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT BOTH OF YOU HAVE TO DO ... MUCH LONGER THAN YOU WILL WANT TO. THE POINT IS THAT YOUR END RESULTS DEPEND ON YOUR ACTIONS (OR, LACK OF THEM) NOW ... SO, CONTINUE TO BE A GOOD GIRL! REMEMBER, I GAINED 11 #s IN 1.5 DAYS AFTER WLS & IT TOOK ME 7 DAYS TO LOSE IT, SO DON'T GET DISCOURAGED; IT DOES COME OFF. FLUID IS THE BODY'S NATURAL PROTECTIVE PADDING TO PROTECT A DAMAGED AREA FROM FURTHER INJURY. AS FOR YOUR OUTSIDE STITCHES ... DON'T LET THEM GROW OVER OR YOU WILL HAVE A TRAIN TRACK KIND OF SCAR. THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO ME WITH MY GALL BLADDER SURGERY & I HAVE THIS FOOT-LONG TRAIN TRACK RUNNING ACROSS THE SIDE OF MY BELLY. I'M HOPING TO GET IT SMOOTHED OUT WHEN I GET MY TUMMY TUCK. I HAVEN'T READ FORWARD YET, BUT I SURE HOPE THAT TODAY IS SO MUCH BETTER FOR YOU ... &, TOMMY. BE SURE TO GIVE HIM AN EXTRA SMOOCH ... YOU KNOW HOW MEN ARE SUCH BABIES WHEN IT COMES TO ANYTHING MEDICAL SO HE DESERVES A BIG "THANK YOU" FOR STICKING IN THERE WITH YOU. GOD BLESS YOU ... DAWN & NICk