Pissed at myself!!!

Alright....It's time to rant about my slack butt!! Jennifer already had to listen to this...Thanks Jen!! I am soo pissed at myself right now. I feel like I am slowly losing control of my tool and I am only 2 1/2 months out. I have stopped measuring. I just guess and then I end up eating too much. I haven't vomited in a long time but I just don't get that signal to stop eating. I end up eating too much simply because it is there!! I feel fine after I eat but I know that I have eaten to much. Also, I am becoming a carb freak. Potatos, pasta, rice, noodles all go down so easy. They are a no brainer! I have to think when I eat protein. I have to remember to chew!! Also, I can find every excuse in the book not to exercise. I can't believe I am doing this to myself. I put myself through this surgery and I am sabatoging myself. I keep reminding myself that Dr. Bour only operated on my tummy not my mind. I still have that old mind that lead me down a road of bad habits and obesity. That mind has to be retrained to think like a skinny person and eat only to survive!! oh my!!! So easy to say...so hard to do!!! I need someone to hold me accountable for my exercise. Someone I can exchange cell phone numbers with and talk to daily to keep me accountable for my measuring, exercising, and food choices. Any takers? Thanks everyone for listening. Rachel

Hey there, I haven't had my surgery yet, coming up in Jan. Stop kicking yourself so hard. You have reconized the problem and owned it. That's half the battle. We can't change yesterday, but allow yourself to breathe and start fresh tomorrow. We did'nt get like this over night and we can't expect to change forever over night. Just pull yourself up, hold your head high, and get going in the right direction. You know what you have to do. Remember there is a beautiful person on the inside of you just dying to get out. Help her. I am sure in the upcoming months I will need to lay on your shoulders and others on this site. I have learned that everyone is always here for us, so feel free to lean when you need to. Remember, tomorrow is a new day...make the best of it! [email protected] Good luck, Deb

Thanks. You are going to do great with the surgery. You already have your head together. Best of luck! Rachel

Uh, Why are you being such a hard A$$ on yourself?? Give me a break, after the first 4 weeks, I quit measuring too. You gotta make a break and live like a normal person. Restaurants don't have measuring cups and after a while you won't need to worry. I think your only problem is the same as mine....we both learned to eat too fast. If you start making yourself count at least 20 chews, then you will see you will do better. Knock it off already already. I never exercised formally, and I was just more active and I lost weight You crack me up.....come on and join the rest of us who don't measure or anything HAHA You are doing great....so get out of the dumps and don't worry, be happy!! Says me! Love ya Deb

Oh Deb!!! I love you!!! You are so practical and honest. Thanks again for making me feel better. Rachel

Like Deb, I stopped measuring after I went on solid foods. But my pouch tells me when enough is enough. I get sick if I eat too much or the wrong thing. I also always eat protein first. I dump on too many carbs and I do not exercise like I should You need to stop beating yourself up and get your mind around this and work the tool. You are so correct, your Dr. B operated on your tummy not your head. Trying going back to the basics, measuring the food and eating protein first. I will tell you that I starting to fall back into my old habits as well. I am starting to graze again. Granted it is not like before, when grazing was an entire back of candy or potato chips or candy bars, but I am not using the tool like I should either and my weight loss has been effected. I would be more than happy to switch cell phone numbers with you and that way we can help each other out. I also do not excerise like I should either. We can be each others check system. I know I am in the lowcountry but my cell has free long distance so that does not matter to me. That is what this board is all about. Let me know Julie

Hey Rachel. I had surgery 10/2 - one day before you and I understand how you feel. I feel like I'm eating more now and worried that my weight loss will slow down. On the weekends I notice I want to snack and pop something in my mouth here and there and that's not good and could lead me back to my old habits. I exercise 3 or 4 times a week but I have to make myself - I dread it and think it's so boring. Since it's X-mas time, goodies are being delivered to our office and it's so hard to stay away from that stuff. I've had a couple bites of a cookie and pumpkin pie and it didn't phase me! I don't know what I was expecting to happen - I guess I was hoping I'd dump but I didn't and now I know I might be able to tolerate ore sweets and I want them! My doctor never recommended me measuring my food once I started solids. I don't think that's such a big deal. How much weight have you lost so far? I have lost 47 but I started at 265. Anyway, we just have to stay focus and realize we're not perfect and we will go through times like this. I needed to vent too. Have a good one!

I have lost 38lbs since surgery and 42 from my highest . I weight 235 at surgery. Glad to know I'm not alone. Rachel

OK GIRL ... DUMP THE "PISSED OFF" BUSINESS ... IT'S NEGATIVE & JUST A TOTAL WASTE OF YOUR ENERGY ... TURN THAT ENERGY INTO SOMETHING POSITIVE & GET YOURSELF DETERMINED & FOCUSED. REMEMBER, THIS ISN'T A GAME; THIS IS THE QUALITY OF YOUR HEALTH & LIFE! &, YOU ARE WORTH THE VERY BEST, SO FOCUS YOUR EFFORTS TO GIVE YOURSELF JUST THAT ... THE VERY BEST! GET BACK TO BASICS ... WE ALLLLLLL HAVE TO DO THIS OVER & OVER AS IT IS SO EASY TO GET OFF TRACK, BUT IT IS THE ANSWER. EXERCISE, FLUIDS & PROTEINS ARE THE FOUNDATION ... THEN, HERE'S FROM MY PROFILE SOME INFO I GLEENED FROM OUR NUTRITIONIST ... "WHITE CARBS SHOULD ONLY BE USED IN THE SMALLEST AMOUNTS DURING THE TRANSITION STAGE FROM LIQUIDS & PUREED FOODS TO REAL FOODS AS THEIR TEXTURE IS SMOOTHER. ONCE ON "REAL FOODS", ONE SHOULD EAT >>> *PROTEIN, DAIRY, GREEN VEGES, FRUITS, WHOLE GRAINS (in order of importance)* & THEN ONLY THE SMALLEST AMOUNTS OF "WHITE CARBS" IF YOU CAN TOLERATE THEM &, ONLY IF YOU HAVE NOT GONE OVER YOUR DAY'S CALORIES" (of no more than 1,000 - 1,200 calories EVER after about 6 - 9 months). GO TO EVERY SUPPORT GROUP MEETING YOU CAN ... PLAN OUT YOUR DAY'S 4 - 6 MEALS & SNACKS AHEAD OF TIME REMEMBERING THAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR 100 - 200 CALORIES EACH TIME ... USE LOW-CALORIE, LOW-CARB PACKAGED PROTEIN PRODUCTS LIKE SHAKES, BARS, PUDDINGS & DRINKS ... CHART YOUR EFFORTS OF EXERCISE, WEIGHT LOSS & MEASUREMENTS ... KEEP A COMPLETE FOOD DIARY ... BUY ONLY SF OR NSA ITEMS & ALLOW YOURSELF NO MORE THAN ONE TREAT A DAY, SUCH AS A SF FUDGECICLE OR SF POPCICLE OR SF PUDDING IN THE EVENING. THE BOTTOM LINE IS THAT WE CAN BE YOUR RAH-RAH TEAM, BUT YOU HAVE TO DO THE HARD WORK YOURSELF, & IT IS HARD WORK. IT GETS EASIER AS YOUR HABITS CHANGE & SETTLE IN WITH GOOD DECISIONS, BUT IT IS STILL ALWAYS HARD WORK. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KEEP US POSTED ON YOUR SUCCESSES, MS RACHEL. GOD BLESS YOU ... DAWN & NICk

Everybody has their own opinion about what things are "okay" to eat , but everyone has their own opinion about what is an acceptable outcome from their weight loss surgery, too. That's why some of us aren't successful. I am happy for you that you're pissed at yourself, because that means you still care enough to do something about the bad habits you're slipping back into. It's really nice to say that you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. That's okay for a few days, but if you're into a downslide, that's not going to help you. I'm not going to say, "Poor Rachel". I'm not trying to make you feel badly about yourself, but this is just the way it is. If bad habits are so easy for you at this point, you're probably in for big trouble when you're further out. I am over 2 years out from my surgery, and I'm the ghost of your RNY future. If you think it's tough for you now, it will be much tougher then. You're still in your "Honeymoon" period, and you need to take complete advantage of it. Your weight loss WILL slow down drastically in comparison to what it is now. And you will be kicking yourself HARD. You should still be on a high from losing so much weight so quickly. Listen to what Lady D is telling you. There are lots of foods out there that are good and good for us to eat, instead of making poorer choices, and lots of sugar-free, lower calorie products available. Take advantage of them and lay off the bad stuff. If you have a bad day, know that we ALL have bad days sometimes and just start over the next day and do better. We all do it one day at a time. Rachel, you are NOT a victim. You know what you have to do. You just said it. You made an intelligent, informed choice to have this drastic surgery. Good Gosh, we cut our stomachs down to a little bit of nuthin! You've been doing a great job. You look terrific. Get yourself a buddy or two or three for support and go to your meetings. But, realize that it is hard for ALL of us sometimes. No one else can hold you accountable. You have to do this yourself, and you can do it. You ARE doing it. So, give yourself some tough love. This is a rough time of year with all the goodies around, but are you going to let some cookies ruin all the hard work you've put into this? Think of all the people who would give anything to have this surgery and their insurance won't cover it. We are so blessed to have been given the opportunity to have this tool. My motto is - "No whining!", and that goes for me first. Now, I suppose everybody hates me, but I am still kicking myself in the butt and using my tool each and every day, so I speak from experience.