Here I Am, Back Again and Feeling Defeated

Anyone here regain it all back?  I'm about to head back to my doctor on Friday. I'm not excited about this, because he's notorious for making his patients wait for HOURS before seeing him (he's usually working in two three different areas of hospital). So I'm looking at a whole day in the office.
I'm 55, had my RNY in 2004, and have regained it all back. I lost around 100 pounds for about twenty minutes. Then after about 2 years it started coming back. I fought with the same 20 pounds appearing and reappearing. The final nail in my coffin was during a business trip to D.C., where I ate and drank "soft" and I haven't been the same since.
 
I became addicted to alcohol for a while - a long while - but have since stopped that, too. It's true what they say about us and alcohol...dont' let anyone tell you different. I didn't feel one way or the other about drinking prior to the surgery. Then about a year after my surgery, I was invited to have a "martini" with some friends (I hadn't even had a beer since surgery), and let me tell you. Ever since, it's been a ride of rationalization and denial.

I still throw up if I eat certain foods (rice, chicken and scrambled eggs are just horrible), I don't experience acid reflux interestingly enough, so when I do urp, I don't get that nasty aftertaste, either. I now have cramping in and around my stomach area when I bend over for more than 5 minutes - it's not painful like hurting - it's like a muscle thing that feels like it's in between something. It goes away after about five or ten minutes.

I'm nervous about going to my doctor. He seems so judgemental and disappointed when I've got there in the past, so of course, I avoided him. Now, I feel like I have no choice in the matter. Plus, to top it off, he doesn't do duodenal, so that leaves revision - if the insurance will allow it, that is.

Anyway, I just needed to spew I guess. i'm nervous about Friday, and felt it was time to come back here and start all over again. One way or the other.

Please dont' post the "it's your fault" line. I'm well aware of what part I played in this scenario. I was one of the people who looked at others, wondering how they could have slipped so far, so fast. Other than my own responsibility for this, there were other factors - I didn't get the support I needed afterwards (groups, dietitician, education, etc.). It's great if you're self-motivated, but some of us need to be led for some time after such drastic measures. I was great in the beginning, but I got lost - not because of food - because I hadn't learned a better way to handle my troubles, which is what turned me to food in the first place.

I think what really didn't help more than anything else, was the idea that once losing the weight my husband would be attracted to me sexually. How frustrating it was to learn that our sexual issues had nothing to do wtih me physically, but it was - and continues to be him and his lack of desire in general. In effect, I was hurting myself - letting myself go - because he wasnt' caring for me the way I DEsERVED. I ate all the blame and rejection...that's the regain, both literally and figurately.

But now that the emotional guilt is gone (yes, we're still together, but I don't buy the bs anymore), I want another chance at the weight loss. This time it will be about me.

Hi NotsoTubbyAnymore ,

Your story and my story seem so similar,  My original RNY was done not even two years ago though and I am already gaining it back. I have a consult with my new surgeon is tomorrow.(picked a new surgeon due to feeling the original would judge me). I am super nervous, I dont know if you feel the same way..I'm afraid something will show that I cant have a revision, or my insurance wont cover it, or just plain if this surgeon says I have to just try it on my own... which i have been and I have been just yo-yo dieting again...we know how that outcome works time and time again...

I really hope your appointment goes well friday, I would love to hear your outcome. Also just remember if this surgeon makes you feel uncomfortable, or isnt apathetic about your feelings you can always find another surgeon out there that may be a better fit.

~Christine

original RNY: 08/04/2009
pre-op weight: 310
lowest weight post-op: 199
current weight: 230
goal weight: 150

Dear CSerwalt,

You should read my reply to Notso TubbyAnymore, I think it would be good information for you as well.



Good Luck in YOUR Journey!!!!
-Jamie in Alaska

Hello everyone *****sponded:

Thanks for the input and support. I'm both nervous and happy about tomorrow. I've decided that if the doctor gives me any grief, judgement (silent or otherwise), or the impression that I'm wasting his time, it will be the last time I go there. 

I actually have to call my insurance company today, to make sure this visit is covered. Our insurance has changed so much that I'm not sure if they will cover it under a "gastric" checkup or diagnostic procedure. If they won't do that, then I can't go! So I also have to check with the doctor to make sure they can code it appropriately.

In the meantime, I'm going to start back on the protein today. I'll start by having one in the morning and one in the evening with vits. Just so I can cleanse some of the gunk out of my system.

Johanna

I think you are BRAVE for coming here for support and INFORMATION!!!!  Good for you!!!!

All I can say is RESEARCH, RESEARCH, RESEARCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you decide on a revision to the DS, here is a list of surgeons who do the RNY to DS revision, because it is SOOO complicted, it is a short list.
Also, here is a good link to a GREAT research paper:  A must read!!!
http://www.dssurgery.com/about/publications/duodenal-switch- safe-operation.pdf


Dr. Rabkin, Dr. Keshishian, both are located in California

Dr. Husted, located in Airzona

Dr. Elariny, located in Virginia

Dr. Greenbaum, located in New Jersey


Of course, the above doctors are in the United States


Dr. Gagner, located in Canada

Dr. Ungson, located in Mexico

Dr. Baltasar, located in Spain

Dr. Marchesini, located  in Brazil


Good LUCK in YOUR Journey!!!!
-Jamie in Alaska

I'd love to check these guys out, but they're too far away! And what after such a surgery and something should go wrong? I'd have to find someone here in the midwest who'd know what to do?
Aren't there DS surgeons in the Kansas City, MO or Kansas area? Midwest?

Johanna

You can find a list of DS surgeons at www.dsfacts.com Not all of them can do RNY-to-DS revisions, however.

I am traveling from Alaska to California!!!  As long as I am approved by insurance.  If I end up paying cash, I will be traveling from Alaska to Mexico or Brazil.



Traveling is only a small thing, when it comes to the rest of your HEALTHY LIFE!!!!!
-Jamie

Who are going to see in CA? Where? I'm actually from Northern Ca.
HOw long will you be there, and are you going with anyone? When do you return for checkups, or do you?

Youo don't HAVE to use the same surgeon. If you want a DS, see one of the docs Smileyjamie listed.