Try this again...
Hi everyone! Well I posted here probably in March or April in reference to my gastric fistula. At the time I was in Illinois in a town that did not offer Tricare Prime doctors (military insurance). My pcm was in Fairbanks, AK and getting anything done was a pain in the butt! So anyways had an upper GI done that showed a gastric fistula, then my surgeon (in Pensacola, fl) called and said it was hard to see (although he said it was at least a small one) and needed an endoscope done. At that point I would of rather deal with the pain and occasional vomiting then try to get Bassett Hospital at Ft. Wainwright to do another referral. So fast forward to now. I am in Fairbanks finally and I have a doctors appointment for the 13th at the Military Hospital at Wainwright. So this is where I am scared to death!!! I hate seeing new doctors!! You never know how they might be and I do not want to deal with a doctor that has no idea about gastric bypass patients! I am afraid he is going to say, your fat so deal with it. I know I have a mechanical failure, despite how small it might be (causes me to have pain and vomiting at times), but god I remember seeing a military doctor one time before having the RNY and he was HORRIBLE!!! When I talked about being unhappy with my weight and what could I do to get it under control he said "it is simple math. This is what your body needs to live and you are obviously feeding three people by your weight. You need to stop eating and workout. It is that simple". Soooo yea military doctors scare me at first. I am afraid they won't understand! I am afraid they are going to look at me in disgust and won't help me.
I also struggle with the idea of failure. I had RNY in Feb 2005 and I was 321. I got down to 188 and at fifteen months I was pregnant. I had been told after $25,000 that it was impossible to get pregnant. I want my money back!! Anyways pregnant and on bed rest for 7 months...gained 60lbs. Lost 25 after having the baby, but at this time I am back up to 240!! God I hate this! I am charting my food and journaling and seeing a counselor to deal with the emotional stuff. My life is crazy, and my job is crazy, so I am trying to find a balance. I just struggle with the fact that I am fat once again. Damn I hate this, but why can't I hate it enough to keep the weight off? What stops me or others who are addicted to food from stopping the bad habits? I should know this, I am a social worker, but I just can't get it! Well sorry for rambling, I just have about had it and didn't know where to go. Thanks everyone for listen!
I also struggle with the idea of failure. I had RNY in Feb 2005 and I was 321. I got down to 188 and at fifteen months I was pregnant. I had been told after $25,000 that it was impossible to get pregnant. I want my money back!! Anyways pregnant and on bed rest for 7 months...gained 60lbs. Lost 25 after having the baby, but at this time I am back up to 240!! God I hate this! I am charting my food and journaling and seeing a counselor to deal with the emotional stuff. My life is crazy, and my job is crazy, so I am trying to find a balance. I just struggle with the fact that I am fat once again. Damn I hate this, but why can't I hate it enough to keep the weight off? What stops me or others who are addicted to food from stopping the bad habits? I should know this, I am a social worker, but I just can't get it! Well sorry for rambling, I just have about had it and didn't know where to go. Thanks everyone for listen!
mew6495
on 10/6/09 11:20 am, edited 10/6/09 11:21 am - MI
on 10/6/09 11:20 am, edited 10/6/09 11:21 am - MI
Hi brandlin,
Let your unhappiness with your weight gain be your motivator to move forward. We can either choose to let it incapacitate us or motivate us. We have a choice. When we loose site of that choice is usually when we give up.
Your old doctor who said "it's simple math..." is a jerk. Don't take his opinion or others who believe as he does as fact about you and your life. Go find another doctor, try to get referrals if possible. Treat it as if you are interviewing him to see if he meets your requirements and needs rather then the other way around. If he doesn't, drop him and find another. Keep looking until you find what YOU NEED. You deserve better treatment then that. Just because they have the prefix "Dr." doesn't make them right, it may not even make the "good". OK off my soap box... ;-)
As far as the food addiction.. I will bet the majority of us on these boards suffer this same thing to some extent or at least have at some point. Else we would not have sought out WLS to begin with. I would recommend seeing a psychologist if you can, to help with the food addiction issue. This will help you be more successful in the long run as well when you finally get the revision you seek!
Good Luck, NEVER GIVE UP, and keep us posted on how you are doing.
Let your unhappiness with your weight gain be your motivator to move forward. We can either choose to let it incapacitate us or motivate us. We have a choice. When we loose site of that choice is usually when we give up.
Your old doctor who said "it's simple math..." is a jerk. Don't take his opinion or others who believe as he does as fact about you and your life. Go find another doctor, try to get referrals if possible. Treat it as if you are interviewing him to see if he meets your requirements and needs rather then the other way around. If he doesn't, drop him and find another. Keep looking until you find what YOU NEED. You deserve better treatment then that. Just because they have the prefix "Dr." doesn't make them right, it may not even make the "good". OK off my soap box... ;-)
As far as the food addiction.. I will bet the majority of us on these boards suffer this same thing to some extent or at least have at some point. Else we would not have sought out WLS to begin with. I would recommend seeing a psychologist if you can, to help with the food addiction issue. This will help you be more successful in the long run as well when you finally get the revision you seek!
Good Luck, NEVER GIVE UP, and keep us posted on how you are doing.
Thank you for listening! I truly appreciate it. I am already seeing a counselor, I suppose last night I was just fustrated at the fact that I have a degree in Psychology and am finishing my masters in couseling and still even with all that knowledge I too struggle with addiction. As far as the Dr I am seeing at the Military Treatment Facility, well I am hopeful that he will be an understanding doctor. And help fix my gastric fistual at the least. For that I am very hopeful! Thanks again for responding!
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