can you divorce a brother-in-law?

I wrote the original post about WLS being the "entertainment" pre-game at the Super Bowl party my sister and brother-in-law had.

Well, I went for an orientation regarding WLS on Monday - because I want a revision from the band.  I DID NOT want my brother-in-law to know about it because he makes such ignorent, rude comments.  Lo and behold, someone in the family leaked the info because last night he said the RUDEST thing yet.

He said he wished he'd have know that the WLS orientation was scheduled because he could've made millions catering it!  How ***king ignorent is that?  I can't believe he is soooo cold hearted about this, knowing damn well that I've had the lap band and haven't had success.  Isn't family supposed to be supportive? 

I'm ready to make him an out-law, rather than an in-law. 

Can your sister set him straight for you? 

I hate to cause a family ruckus, but I may have to do just that.  My sister laughs at him when he says this stuff, so she obviously thinks it's funny as well.  Last year, she was able to obtain Lifetime Membership in Weigh****chers, and has done a fabulous job keeping the weight off.  She was totally against me getting WLS the first time, and definitely does not think it's a good idea this time around either.  However, we are very close - we are the only 2 kids in our family - and I know she would never want anyone to hurt my feelings.  So, that being said, I think maybe she would tell him that he needs to stop with the rude comments, if I get the guts to bring it up to her.  I try to see where they're coming from - if you've never been obese, you don't understand how hard it is to try to lose weight.  People have this awful image of obese people doing nothing but eating 24-7, and that's not how it is, but it's society's image as well.  I do need to do this for myself, though - WLS #2 and asking my bro-in-law to keep his comments to himself.  thanks

For the sake of your relationship with your sister, just ignore him and don't let it get to you.

I have a variety of idiotic male relatives in my family - some of them just blurt stuff out without connecting mouth to brain, or show off in front of other people to boost themselves up. You know what's best for you, don't let dopey men distract you.

Sal

he is ribbing you intentionally to get a rise out of you and it is working. he is not interested in demeaning you, he is interested in rattling you.

it is the 'rattled you' that he thinks is so funny. if it wasn't about wls it would be about something else that would get the same rise out of you.

everytime he says something to you that evokes the response he wants from you he feels bigger and better than you.

you need to think of some quick comebacks or way of reacting that does not give him what he wants. when he doesn't get it anymore he won't pursue you in that way again.

but beware because if ribbing you about the wls doesn't work he will try to find something else that will solicit the same response from you.

think things out. come up with a plan to protect yourself. and put him in his place. cool him down. stop reacting the way he wants you to. you are giving him the upper hand and control of the situation. take control back!

                                                 

The only way you can divorce a BIL is if your sister were to divorce her hubby.  In the meantime, don't give him the time of day -- period.  He is not being supportive at all, and neither is your sister.