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If you can't stand behind the troops... stand in front of them... PLEASE!
Hi, I've been following your posts on the main forum to here. I'm not going to beat you up for any food choices, or tell you to chew gum, and I'm far behind you on this journey, so I don't have any 1 year out advice, but I did want to ask why you are sure you're a failure?
If I'm reading you right, you were a 'lightweight' to start, weighing only 200 at the time of surgery. Sure, you've had it for six months and you've only lost 30 pounds, but if your goal is 150, then you're over half way there! Even if you're personal goal is lower than you're doctors, its still not too far off. The restrictive digestion of a RNY is supposed to work for you as a tool for another 6 months to a year. Sure you have found that you can eat anything you want, and you have indulged, but with an RNY, even when you eat terrible you aren't absorbing as much of the food in your new digestive system. I'm sure the amount of food you can fit in your pouch is scary, but how long did it take you to eat that monster dinner and desert on Sunday, and how big was the portion of steak and potato? If it took you and hour and a half to two hours to put away that food, then I'd say your pouch is still basically working, but your hunger is making you find a work around. It sounds like that day was an exception to the rule, and on most days you're sticking to a life diet. I think you may be worried about being a failure with out actually being one. Many people hit plateaus, and many of them are VERY long, but it doesn't mean your weightloss is over. I'm only 56 days out, and I've already stalled for 26 days of it. During that stall I did research on stalls and plateaus. The number one suggested way of kicking a plateau (a stall that lasts longer than a month is the actual deffinition of a plateau) is to change your work out. So you might be able to reestablish weightloss by doing something other than swimming for your 30 minutes. Your body gets used to a certain excersise, and eventually takes it for granted. Why not try mainaining your 1500 calories a day, trying to make healthier food choices BUT change up your swimming laps to doing pool aerobics instead, and go from 30 minutes to 45. Just that once change over a few weeks might kick your plateau. I'm sorry you're so frustrated, and upset, but I think it is too soon to throw in the towel on your surgery. So what you can eat anything you want? So what if you do? Just don't do it all the time. Spend most of your days eating a healthy 1500 calories, and then when you do slip up, start over eating right the next meal or the next day. You have lost weight, and you're still in the time period where you should be able to lose a lot more. You're pretty close to goal in the scheme of things, over half way there! so try switching out your excersise and see what happens. If I, too am failing to understand you, then I'm sorry. I'm trying to help.