What's on Your Saturday Menu?

That's a big deal, Mel. I hope you're able to fit everyone and everything needed during that time. It's definitely not doing your pain any favors but my bet is you also toughed it out to get ready for them.

I hope your SIL does get help. If their home is hoarded, that's a terrible situation for everyone involved. Hoping tomorrow is a better day.

I am sorry for the kids. Luckily they have a wonderful Aunt and Grandma who can help them during this time.

Good morning weekend menuers!

That sounds like a lovely springtime planting plan. I hope it goes well and you get everything in the ground! I have about a dozen landscaping bushes that didn't make it that I'll have to focus on at some point. There hasn't been energy for anything beyond basic living for a bit, so it will keep waiting! I'm still feeling out where around here might be good for a garden. My land has a lot of clay and rocks.

QOTD- There's an Amy's frozen meal that has butternut squash, black beans, and quinoa that I fell in love with. I wasn't willing to spend $5 just to have one, so I worked on a recipe to make something similar on my own. Haven't made it in a couple of years, though.

Love the blanket, and looks like your pup has appropriated it.

Today's menu is jus****er and maybe tea. It was a very rough night.

Hope everyone has a great day!

So sorry you are still struggling physically. So frustrating.

Love the blanket. Looks like the dog approved.

Spring planting- I don't have a green tomb. I tried to do some planting and stuff a few years ago.. and decided that for me it was too much work with spending too much money at the begging and by the end getting a very little real products in return. I grow some herbs that almost any one can't kill. like basil and mint, the rest - I just buy.

QOTD: what I would like to eat and what my gut semi tolerates are very different things. I do eat sautéed spinach, some Cesar salad (my gut can handle maybe once a week), sautéed spinach, sautéed - roasted summer squash, NSA pickle and English cucumbers. I love ratatouille or ratatouille, or Letcho, but he nightshades get to me - arthritis. ugh.

Accountability: I really messed up yesterday food wise. Major stress issues.. and .. there were some stupid cookies I bought for others. I don't really like these cookies. Major dumping, RH and ..so.. on.. ugh.. But- I did not have any alcohol so.. at least that is good. I am pretty sure I'm an alcoholic and I need to stay away from ANY alcohol. For real. Sadly.

Coming clean with a blackout: I had to review some recording at work cameras. Something happened a while back (when I was in my drinking binge time). My car was disturbed and I have no recollection of what or who messed with the car, and moved it from one parking area to another. I was at work by myself, working late, very late, and stayed at work overnight. My car moved. When I finally got to watch the videos.. I saw myself walking normally, getting out from one building, getting in the car and driving to the other building, unpacking the car (I had some boxes with stuff for work in the back) then locking the other building, locking the car and slowly walking to the main office building. I had no recollection of that. None. Yes, I had some wine I was sipping at work..as I was working late... I have no recollection of my actions that evening. In the morning - buildings were locked, alarm set up, car locked, etc.. I woke up in the morning in the "bedroom suite", with no memory of my actions the late evening. That so scary. Because my car was moved, and NOBODY else was supposed to be on the property - that really disturbed me. I can't get over seeing myself walking around outside and inside the buildings. (We have 3 building on the property) And I did not have hangover, or a major hangover the next day.

So the next question is: how many different blackouts I had before this one????? And watching myself in the the video - I walked slowly but from the video - I would not accused myself of being drank. It was a memory blackout, most likely from alcohol, combined with pain meds. How do you know what you don't remember when you don't remember?

Blackouts, or temporary losses of memory, can result from excessive alcohol consumption and can occur in anyone of any age or level of alcohol ..

En bloc memory impairments tend to have a distinct onset. It is usually less clear when these blackouts end because people typically fall asleep before they are over. Interestingly, people appear able to keep information active in short-term memory for at least a few seconds. As a result, they can often carry on conversations, drive automobiles, and engage in other complicated behaviors. Information pertaining to these events is simply not transferred into long-term storage.

PS: I did not a have any alcohol for at least 3 weeks now. And considering everything- I know I can't drink. The idea that I could have taken my car and driven home - that is very very scary.

I also have pituitary and hypothalamus disfunction, plus who knows what else there may be wrong (not alcohol related).

I can't imagine seeing that type of blackout. I had waking sedation 20+ years ago and the thought of that still freaks me out. It can be difficult to quit drinking so don't feel you have to do it all yourself, I hope if you need help with a program or medical support you are able to get it.

Thanks. UGH.

I was able not to have any, don't have problem with not dirking as long as I don't start with "just one glass". The last 3 weeks is a confirmation.

To "be safe", I tapered down for a week before that.. just in case... Getting a "glass of wine" in evening.... (buying a "glass" if I need it just to be safe and putting any other alcohol I had at home and I could drink in the house away (detached garage). I don't/didn't get major hangovers.

In the past, a few years back, I started drinking due to gut pain. I could eat solid food and drink alcohol (strong), or be in pain when I ate. I still often want to have a drink when my gut is in spams... or when "everything hurts". I don't need a lot to go to sleep. I'm an "light drinker. I may drink a bottle of wine if I pace myself and start at 5. But normally - 2 glasses of wine- and I'm out, going to bed. If I drink on empty pouch - 1 large glass of wine - may put me out.

But for my gut pain - I found that good whisky or bourbon was my to go poison. That would warm my insides out and relaxed the knots in my guts. We are talking about "screaming from pain" or "can't breathe due to pain" levels of pain, rather severe.
Being on pain meds, and muscle relaxants... plus SNRI, and with pituitary and hypothalamus disfunction - alcohol should be out of my life for good. I heard about people getting blackouts, and until this episode - I never thought I had them. That seriously scares me. The realization that I was DRIVING while intoxicated is terrifying to me. Even if it was in a parking lot, private property, and with no other people or cars around. That's made me think "at THIS TIME I WAS OK".

I read about blackouts and it can happed to social drinkers, and that people may be intoxicated but the alcohol level doesn't need to be very very high (but almost always above legal limit). People may appear to be in a control of their senses, carry conversation, drive but they lose the ability to create long term memory. Short term memory - 2min - up to 5 min max was observed. I need my memory. All of it. Combination of meds and alcohol can increase chances of having blackouts.

It's just scary. Terrifying.

P.S. My roommate in my first year at University experienced blackouts when she was drinking. After a few years she developed serious mental issues. The damage she did to her brain was too much. It was sad because she was supper intelligent, had PhD in Engineering physics, but otherwise she just couldn't function in RL. I know a lot of very very smart people who were eventually diagnosed with a severe mental issues. I was in a a real advanced Dept of University... most people who survived 1st year - very advanced - would be considered Mensa++ level intelligence. Like in a movie - "A Beautiful Mind" (about genius mathematician who was also a schizophrenic). I can relate to this movie. I had people "like" him in the my group at University. With brain like that - advanced yet broken.

Thinking of you Hala.

Thanks.

That is the kind of scary thing that may make it possible for you to give up drinking forever. It is not an easy thing to do and it is always one day at a time. I hope you are able to get help and support. You are a strong and amazing person who can accomplish anything you set your mind to and I have 100% confidence that you can do this.