Support

haylay1829
on 1/31/22 6:13 am
RNY on 07/21/14

What do you do when you have no support at home. I moved in with my boyfriend 9 months ago and he is not supportive at all. He has a 13 ur old and I have a 17 and 6 yr old. Him and his son like to eat out. And I mean 5 times a week! I've never had so much junk food in the house. Chips, cookies, ice cream and soda galore. I've wanted to attend the conference for the past 4/5 years but never got the chance. Last night I mentioned it to him and all he could do was mention all these negative thing's as to why I shouldn't go. Telling me about how expensive it'll be (I'm paying my way), you have to be fully vaccinated, having to wear a mask everywhere, I'll have to take time off of work and how long the flight will be. I feel like he's sabotaging me because of his own self-consciousness.

Melody P.
on 1/31/22 7:06 am - Amarillo, TX

I've never been in that exact situation BUT...some people are just naysayers. He also may be afraid of you moving on from him...his own insecurities shining bright. If you want to go pay no attention to his stuff.

come check out the daily menu thread. It's more than just post your food. We all support each other a lot!

Mel

haylay1829
on 1/31/22 4:02 pm
RNY on 07/21/14

Thanks... I'll look at that!

Alexpope
on 1/31/22 7:46 am
RNY on 10/21/20

I am sorry you are not getting the support you need at home and have to deal with food triggers. Do you attend any support groups? For me if I am attending one regularly it helps me to stick to my plan. I did experience some issues at one time where being around others at a bar led to some bad choices but luckily I was able to turn it around. But being at home with them is more critical. You mentioned a conference.... may be going to that will be a good way for you to find the support you need and are not getting at home.

If I were to give you any advice I would say you have to make a decision on what is best for YOU! I know that can be hard but I seriously think that if you continue to not stand up for yourself your boyfriend could be what leads you to regain. It doesn't mean you have to leave him, but you have to know when to tell him enough is enough. Ask him to keep the things that trigger you out of view. Ask him to support you in a more positive way than only pointing out the negative. It could be he does this out of fear you will leave him but that is a whole other issue to deal with.

Just don't let ANYONE tell you anything different when it comes to YOU. Regardless of who they are. That is exactly how people get off track when we try to please others and not ourselves.

haylay1829
on 1/31/22 10:24 am
RNY on 07/21/14

Thanks for the great advice. Unfortunately I don't know of any supply groups in my area. I ordered some books to help get me back in track. I've regained 30 lbs and I hate it!!!

White Dove
on 1/31/22 4:48 pm - Warren, OH

Let them have their junk food. Buy yourself filet migeon, petite lobster tails, shrimp, ribeyes, and other great good for us foods. Whatever you enjoy that is also weight loss surgery friendly. If you want to go to the conference, just go and let them fend for themselves. None of the kids are babies.

Everyone gains 20 pounds after the first two years. Just count calories and get exercise. You can lose it one or two pounds a week. I also do Weigh****chers. Be your own support system.

I have chips, ice cream, soda, etc in the house. I do buy myself expensive chocolate and eat one piece a day. I don't share it. Take care of yourself and let them do their own thing. They did not have surgery and don't need to eat differently because you did. You can find a lot of help and support in the daily menu thread. Hope you join us there.

Real life begins where your comfort zone ends

(deactivated member)
on 2/1/22 6:55 am
RNY on 09/01/12

I think the daily RNY menu/ exercise thread is a great support.

I notice that when I'm NOT on it I gain, constantly eat when I'm not hungry and refuse to exercise.

(((())))) foods outside our spectrum can be TOUGH. I'm always tempted 2 eat sugary desserts , chocolate and fatty cheeses at my parents home .

hollykim
on 2/1/22 11:36 am - Nashville, TN
Revision on 03/18/15
On January 31, 2022 at 2:13 PM Pacific Time, haylay1829 wrote:

What do you do when you have no support at home. I moved in with my boyfriend 9 months ago and he is not supportive at all. He has a 13 ur old and I have a 17 and 6 yr old. Him and his son like to eat out. And I mean 5 times a week! I've never had so much junk food in the house. Chips, cookies, ice cream and soda galore. I've wanted to attend the conference for the past 4/5 years but never got the chance. Last night I mentioned it to him and all he could do was mention all these negative thing's as to why I shouldn't go. Telling me about how expensive it'll be (I'm paying my way), you have to be fully vaccinated, having to wear a mask everywhere, I'll have to take time off of work and how long the flight will be. I feel like he's sabotaging me because of his own self-consciousness.

you can always move out. You do you. Let him do himself.

 


          

 

sweetpotato1959
on 2/7/22 11:27 am, edited 2/7/22 3:31 am

MOVE OUT! support is vital. Sabotage is UN Acceptable.

Denise
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