What's on your Tuesday Menu?

4. More. Days. But this one is going to be as long as the whole week combined. My sweet kitty has been in some bad habits recently and he is back to waking me up to play at 1am every night. It would be absolutely adorable if it wasn't at 1am! Anyway, I couldn't fall back asleep after that because I was just stressing about the things I have left to do. And I have to work from 7am to 7pm today for a staffing event. Boo.

QOTD: Are you a confident public speaker? I don't mind it at all. I have been tasked with giving trainings and presentations for my entire career and it doesn't bother me at all. I was doing one over zoom with a colleague yesterday and I thought she was going to pass out from nerves! I felt so bad, but I couldn't relate!

1st breakfast: ...hmm I definitely made a piece of toast at 2am...

2nd breakfast: Protein Coffee & Eggs

S: Cheese Stick & Apple

L: Steak & Mango Tacos

S: Barebell Protein Bar

D: I seriously doubt I will have dinner when I get home at 8pm.

Yay for only 4 more days!

Yesterday sucked...it may of been the most humiliating event I've ever had. The bariatric NP, who is super nice, was just trying to tell me what I need to do and all. The visit itself was a tepid ok...embarrassing but ok. Then as I was checking out I heard him tell my surgeon that he thought out of all the bariatric patients he thought I'd be the one to succeed. I knew it was about me as they also talked about me having to go to the ER in October. My eyes started to get irritated and I knew I was about to have a big ugly cry. I held it together long enough to get to the car and then...BIG ugly cry. It was so humiliating. BUT it may of been the kick I needed? Starting back today counting everything that goes into my body. I've really let myself go. It's literally breaking me...the NP told me one pound of fat does 4 pounds of pressure on my back. I've got to use this feeling to make things better. Only me has control over it.

Not much planned today. My mom wants to go to the thrift store and I have a phone appointment today at noon with my new case manager. I made a pop up Christmas card for my mom last night...there is no hiding it from here so I've given it to her already. It's a big Christmas tree you can put a tea light in. I'll share a pic Friday. Here are the things I made so far this week.

QOTD: I don't like it...not at all and I suck big time at it. I avoid it at all and every cost!

B: 4 tbs JUST egg, 1 slice of Muenster cheese and coffee with 1 tbs creamer

L: frozen gluten free dinner...I think the one that has chipotle in it

D: 1/2 cup black beans with ham done in the instant pot

S: cauliflower florets, jerky and yogurt

Your feelings are your feelings so I will just say I am sorry you feel so badly.

You may not be where you and the NP want you to be, but I am sure you are not a failure.

The problem with over hearing things is you may not hear everything - the follow up could have been "and I'm sure she'll be able to get back on track".

I hope you are able to use this feel to keep yourself motivated. Set a small goal and work on it vs trying to change everything today.

Good luck Melody!! You can do this!

Thank you! I got rid of my diet soda and got some healthy things to snack on. So far so good today. It's hard...when you feel discomfort (at least for me) you want to comfort yourself...I al ways did that with food and I need to break that cycle.

Cute cards, Melody!

Thanks!

Sorry this happened to you. That is very unprofessional for them to discus this in a common area. I am almost at 4 years and I been struggling like crazy to get back on track. When did you have your surgery? Could it be just that time when most see regain? It is hard no matter what you are going through. I hope you can find a happy medium and you feel better soon. Your always in my prayers.

Thank you, it is very much appreciated. I think I had it in 2018 and the revision in 2019. Gawd I'm awful with dates. I have it written down somewhere of course.

I have just let myself bathe in self pity to long. Yes things are rough right now for me but I need to try and remain focused on getting better instead of how things feel in the moment.

I agree that it was unprofessional but I think I needed to hear it. I can still succeed and do well with my weight loss journey.

Well I am cheering for you if that helps.

It does mean a lot to me! All the support here has helped me get through this tremendously :o)