What's on your Thursday Menu?

^^OMG... why do memes know me??^^

Helllloooooo and Happy Jr Friday! It's real Friday for me...I am taking tomorrow off :) I just can't keep going without a mental and physical break. Plus I am putting the furnished condo that I had been renting on the market next week, so I need to get over there and figure out what I want to keep, and what goes to 1-800-Got-Junk!

GOOD NEWS! I am NOT out of the running for that job! I got an email yesterday afternoon apologizing for the ghosting, and to tell me that they need to have the superintendent make the final approval, but he is on vacation until Monday. She says I will hear back from them early next week. Whee! I am still trying to keep my emotions in check, but every minute I commute, I dream about never doing it again.

QOTD: Would you rather have three horrible years followed by the best year of your life? Or four mediocre years? I am thinking I'll take my lumps, then have a great year! I had a super bad stretch from 2012 - 2015. But 2016 was when I met Grim and I had the best year ever! I would suffer again for a great outcome if I had to :)

Did my usual thing yesterday--100% on track all day until the evening when I got tired and let my guard down and found a treat. Such a terrible pattern lately. I will join the egg-fast train next week and hope that a good reset helps my resolve.

B: Protein Coffee

S: Greek Yogurt

L: 2 Trader Joe's Turkey meatballs

D: Taco insides!

Good mornin everyone. Glad to hear the update about the job situation, sending positive energy!

I had quite possibly the most ****ty night ever. They upped my pain med and at first it made me drowsy so I went to be at the regular time. Well that didn't last long. I tossed and turned and hurt all night. Not sure what the heck it was about but I feel like warmed over crap right now. My sleep score was 36 according to my Fitbit. It's gonna be a long assed day. Hopefully a nap will be had...or twenty. Lots of caffeine as well.

I should be hearing about the cat scan they are going to do on my back and pelvis. Super not excited in a way...a little afraid what they'll find but I also want to know what the heck is going on.

My mom wants to go get toilet paper and paper towels from Sam's today...she is freaking out a bit. We had 8 deaths yesterday, 34 people on the ventilators at the two hospitals here. Our hospitalization rate is over 15%. I am no so much worried about if I'll get it but more concerned about my nieces and nephew. Our governor is an a-hole and when we need leadership he is in lala land. He really disgusts me.

QOTD: right now I'd settle for mediocre.

B: JUST egg, cheese, chicken sausage and coffee

L: PP shake

D: chicken thighs cooked in the instant post...just haven't figured out how

S: ???

I read yesterday that he's now got COVID. Karma bites. Not sad...

Not sad either...not one bit.

I'd like to see the mayor of San Antonio run and win for governor but it'll be a hard sell here.

Getting my CT scans done Saturday at one of the stand alone ERs in town that is run by one of the hospitals in town. Relieve and worried. My brain sucks.

Qotd. mediocre for sure. Last time I had a horrible year, it was so bad that I am still dealing with the after effects Eight Years later and will be the rest of my life. After all I can turn mediocre into fabulous with attitude.

Menu. Not a clue. Shake, yougurt, sloppy joes? Today I have physical therapy for my knees. I am hoping this will help, I feel like I am losing function.

JB.- I will keep my fingers crossed that you land that new job. Long commutes really take up so much of your life. I did that once. Ugh.

Good morning everyone. Also wishing it was Friday. This week I started mindbeacon, a free 12 week online program to help with my ptsd/depression/anxiety. So far it's just been a million annoying repetitive questions. I was done in about an hour and ready to move on to the next module but evidently you have to wait until the following week to continue. Weird, and my "therapist" sends me messages with smile emojis, so I'm not hopeful but willing to try anything at this point. The questions have triggered bad memories and I ended up eating off track to try to soothe myself. Threw out my leftovers though so that is something. Of course it only made me feel worse but I was desperate. Anyone else tried this type of therapy?

Today just work and hot yin yoga class later. I've been isolating myself lately so the classes help me feel less alone, plus super soothing.

b: sf protein decaf ice cap - sipped throughout morning

s: low carb toast with butter and sf jam

l - fresh local corn with butter and salt

d - pan fried organic tofu slices, homemade salsa

s - local field cucumber with salt, mint tea from my garden

calories: 1300, carbs: 25, protein: 70

wishing everyone a happy Friday jr!

I've tried CBT before...not sure if it's the same. It didn't work to well for me. Of course the therapist that I did that with was kind of a crack pot. It seems we have some similar issues. It's so hard to find things to help. I hope that this will help you...I'd try it again most likely. That seems to be the way things are. Just keep trying to get better, like my signature says...just keep swimming. You are your own best advocate.

Thank you Melody, I'm not going to give up but I'm skeptical. I can't afford 170 dollar sessions with my therapist and it has to be better than nothing right? I've tried cbt before but can't get motivated to do my workbook again.

I didn't do well with school work so I didn't do to well with CBT I think. The whole depression thing is so exhausting. Sometimes just getting out of bed is hard.