lala

We do have other things in common, but this has been front and center for some time now. It sounds like its time to move on to other things.

Yes, we are very close and always have been. I did read into it some, and probably more after thinking back on it. I don't think I'm totally wrong though. It may be that she needs time to wrap her head around it, as do I.

I don't mean to say you are wrong, but I know that she has to come to it in her own time. I am certain she is well aware of her weight and progress. Keep being there for her.

I will, even more so after all the words of wisdom I've read here today. Thank you!

Did she ask how much you had lost or did you just bring it up? I don't think you should talk about weight loss with her anymore. Period. Find other things to talk about. Do not give her advice. She knows what she is doing or not doing.

This is a long journey for all of us. Some of us take longer to get to our goal weight. Others get there quickly but then do not stay there.

You are only in charge of yourself and your choices. You can not take on the responsibility of her choices or her feelings. Keeping taking care of yourself and focus on being a good sister.

She asked me. She has been hesitant to volunteer info about her weight loss like she used to so I stopped asking about 20 pounds ago. I think I felt this coming but hoped it wouldn't. I will continue to be supportive of her, always. Hopefully she will come around.

It might be good to do things that aren't food related... shift the focus from weight loss to other shared experiences.

Also to reiterate a previous comment, you aren't responsible for her feelings.

Very true!

Sending you Hugs Amy and sorry you feel so devastated, that must be hard. No one knows your sister better than you and since you two are so close you know her facial expressions, body language and "knowing looks" and if you feel she was acting different after you shared how much you lost then you are in my opinion right as she is your sister after all.

I had pretty much the exact same thing happen to me with an Aunt of my husbands (who I love and adore like as if she was one of my own Aunties) we went and visited them in Texas a few years ago at Christmas time. Her and I had our surgeries a few days apart she had VSG and I had RNY so we were just over a year post op when we visited and I had lost all my weight and she has lost about 55lbs and was as she said to me "struggling" with staying on plan. She also was eating tons of crackers, bread, cakes, drank wine with dinner every night and didn't take vitamins as she didn't think they were important. Yet she followed me around the house and made comments of "you are so tiny", "you don't eat much", "don't you drink with your meals" "aren't you hungry?" I just told her I follow my plan to a T and there is no magic its all hard work and I gave her my post op plan and told her the rules I follow if she was interested in following them as well (that was Dec 2014 and I know for a fact as we talk often to this day that she has put all her weight back on and never got to goal). I don't think it has anything to do with the fact that she has VSG and I had RNY, they are both excellent surgeries but from the get go I was all about "following the rules" and she was not. I am sad she put her weight back on but not surprised at all.

In my opinion people can get weird about their weight/looks and since she is your sister and you are/were close it must hurt to feel she appeared not as happy for your weight loss as you are for hers. I would let her come to you on anything WLS related, she may never and that is just what it is. But if she does, suggest OH, tell her how much you attribute part of your success to being on here. And don't let this get between you, you will regret it later on in life. Instead, take a day or two or however long it takes, get over the hurt and call her up and do something that does not involve eating i.e. going to a restaurant. Go for a walk on the beach, go to a Garden centre, go make up shopping, take the dogs for a walk. Talk about things that are not WLS related, talk about high school friends, your job, your pets, your kids, upcoming vacations.

I am glad you are on OH and thank you for sharing your feelings with us, it must have been hard. Keep smiling Amy you're beautiful

Daisy! Thanks for the kind words. Yes I do know her so well, I just knew what she was thinking and I just realized that it has been building for the last 20 pounds or so.... I also know that her reaction is more about her than me. Like your aunt, she is not following the rules and I know she doesn't measure, weight or track. From what I have seen on here, the VSGr's do pretty well. Her loss doesn't bother me, but mine seems to have bothered her. I just know she is capable of doing so much better than she has. She knows about OH and how much it has helped me. It's the best for accountability and is full of great people with great advice. It's my virtual therapy!

My sister had VSG about 3 years prior to my rny. She lost about 1/2 of her goal and has since regained just about all of it. I felt like our relationship slipped a little when she was losing. She is happy for me, and often says I inspire her, but that makes me uncomfortable.

We used to share our love of food; it would seem logical to replace that with healthy tips, exercise etc. But I thinks it's better that we just leave the weight/eating topic alone. Now we just connect over life.