On the flip side - 1 mo. post-op and struggling

pity party ahead and my counselor was sick this week so enjoy the therapy session... I had a tough time in recovery (extra long time in surgery and collapsed lung) and my chronic illnesses didn't help. My metformin was stopped and my blood pressure medication stopped (which I am thankful, don't misunderstand), but my one psych med was too big to swallow so what was once two pills a day is now 8 tiny ones, ugh. I now have add the 3 calciums, 2 multis, 2 irons, and prilosec so I don't take more "medication as it were, but I take more pills. Also, I can't seem to get down more than one at time or I have so much air trapped I sometimes bring them up? Anyone else? Between my migraines, fibro, psych, and what I take for vitamins and such I take about 8 pills in the AM and PM so it can take about 15 minutes for me to get them down as I need a break between each one.

Same problem with meals. I can watch the clock and stop eating in 20 minutes, but I only get in about 1 oz of protein that way. For the first 3 weeks after surgery we didn't know I had become lactose intolerant so I was dealing with extreme intestinal issues. I still have chronic diarrhea and am scheduled to see a gastroenterologist in January (yes, that was the earliest they had). I tested negative for cdiff and am now taking Questran and Immodium AD (almost daily). It is so bad it is interfering with my ability to leave the house some days. My exercise right now is walking, but I have to stick to uh...places close to bathrooms.

All of my clothes fit pretty much the same and no one has gasped in delight at my awesome bod lol. I joke that when you are under 200 and you lose 40 pounds people are blown away; when you are over 300 pounds you have to point it out. "Hey look, I'm less fat!" I don't know exactly how much I've lost as I have only been weighed twice since my surgery and I don't have a scale. The last time was when I saw my surgeon on the 30th and I was down about 40ish pounds. My goal weight is around 200. I currently weigh 27?. 

Don't get me wrong - I have lots of positives so far - my migraines have been less severe, I am not as tired, I felt comfortable enough to swing on a swing with my daughter at the park today, I have learned to make better food choices...

However, I feel like I am lagging behind people who had surgery the same time as me - I know it isn't a race. I do, BUT, I canNOT for the life of me make my protein goal of 60g a day. I have tried so hard, I was a grazer before and I feel like I have to pack a lunch to be able to go out an do errands. Hell, like I said I was a grazer and I feel like all I do NOW is eat - Meal, Snack, Meal, Snack, Meal, I JUST ATE!!!!!! It's exhausting and I can't get used to it. Somedays it feels downright mechanical. Plus I am having difficulty coming up with variety because I do have to eat on the go quite a bit (3 year old in half day preschool, aging parents with aging dog, chronic illnesses - enough said). I know with every meal and snack missed that I am losing muscle mass. I get in my water and my vitamins, but this is not enough. I have to buck up and try a protein shake with a lactaid pill chaser. breathes rant over. Thanks for reading

I was so sick a month out. The perky ones used to annoy a bit. Pills are hard. For me they can still be hard.

The first month is really about recovery. Your recovery is taking longer because like me you are chronically ill. Cut yourself a whole lotta slack. It's way way way too early to think about how you look in clothes or how other people will notice. Make this time about you. It's hard and you have to remain mindful all the time.

Fluids first and essential meds. I do not consider vitamins and calcium essential meds the first couple of months unless you are having no problems taking them. You are. I have gone through many techniques to take meds.

Don't worry about losing muscle mass. Protein comes after fluids and meds but you will work up to the right levels. 

Deep breath..you are on the other side. You are going to lose more weight this year than you ever will in your life. You will take vitamins for the rest of your life. You will figure it out. Healing and mindfulness to you.

Deb

This honestly made me feel so much better and less alone. What are some techniques you have used to take medications? I swallow so much air it is downright painful.

It is hard to remember how I am only a month out. I think one reason for this is that I am a revision and that makes it feel like a weird cross between vet (8 years with lapband) and newbie.

Thank you muchly for your wisdom. Today was a really tough day for me so I really appreciate it :) 

More reading about post op life should help... Knowledge is power. 

Sounds really normal, since remember your relationship with food is different now. Pre op Vs post op life....

Newbie post op: so psych and physical fighting will be big time and lots of times.

Life continues on and your health will improve more day by day. No overnight solutions. Slow and steady for your recovery and new life style. 

Lactose issues, try dense veggies to give you nutrients that you need to add to your protein first meal when they are allowed.

Check out the food labels for nutritional values... Food or food like products?

Best wishes for you too.

I very clearly remember being that far out and it was a dark time.  I didn't want to eat and at the same time I was mad I couldn't finish eating what I had in front of me.  Nothing tasted good, protein shakes were (and are) gross and I was positive I would be that person for whom the surgery would fail.  This may not seem like much right now, but I promise you it gets better.  You will be able to figure out the eating schedule that works for you.  You'll be able to experiment will new foods and protein sources and you will absolutely be able to get in your 60 grams of protein; likely way more than that.  And as far as anyone noticing your weight loss, don't use that as a barometer of your success.  Nobody said anything to me until probably 4 or 5 months out.

Please remember, you are only one month out.  Be kind to yourself.

I think that really is part of the biggest frustration. It is hard as a revision to not compare my early days no to last time. It is so hard to be hungry and then I have such guilt when I have food on my plate I am throwing put. Plus, my husband is heavy too and I know he will gladly finish anything I am throwing out. Bleh. I am going to make some seafood salad tonight and see how that works for me. My motto this morning was "Woman cannot live on eggs alone." I have pretty much been getting all of my protein from eggs, chicken, soy patties, and cheese. That's it. I am getting sick of eggs fast. I have to mix it up because nausea is winning. Thanks for putting it in perspective and making me feel normal.

hang in there! i also had a very difficult recovery (bleeding ulcer, 1 month in the hospital - NPO, out of work for 2.5 mos). it sucks now, no doubt about that. but it gets better. you will heal. you will eventually reach your protein and vitamin goals in a way that works for you. you will eventually be 100 lbs lighter. you will find healthy foods that you enjoy. soon this will be a distant memory...one day at a time.

I think that is going to be my next big goal - finding a way to eat that fits my needs instead of trying to force myself into eating according to the schedule given to me by the nutritionist. That is a horrible recovery you went through, glad you made it through in one piece.

We are allowed to give ourselves a pity party once in a while. I put the timer on for 20 minutes then when it goes off I try to shake it off. 

It does get easier. 

Hi, I too have fibro, deal with IBS-D and am lactose intolerant.  I also have Celiacs so finding stuff to eat is a challenge.  I used and still use a lot of the Bariatric Advantage stuff which is lactose free.  In the beginning I would down 2 shakes a day made with Lactaid milk.  Lactaid also makes a cottage cheese which I eat a lot of.  The pills get easier...I now use the patch for my vitamins and can take large pills with no problems.  I got rid of my blood pressure and cholesterol meds but still take an anti depressant.  I have to say that I was sooooo overwhelmed by everything at a month out and every time I tried to eat anything that resembled meat I threw up.  I was sure I made a mistake and I would never enjoy food again. At about 6 months everything changed.  The routine stuff became easier and food started tasting better.  Some things still don't taste as good as they used to especially if I over do it, which I'm kind of glad about that.  At one month post op you are probably still in the 3 week stall that happens to most of us which adds to the uncertainty and depression.  Everybody's journey is different and yes, yours has been a tough one.  It does get better just hang in there.  As far as the lactose intolerance there is a pill that you can take once a day over the counter.  I never trusted it so pre surgery I would take a lactaid pill at the start of a meal and one again when I was done.  Now since I eat less and in a shorter time I just take the one pill prior to eating anything that has dairy even if it is baked in.  I also, on the recommendation of my gastro take a probiotic.  It evens out the fluctuations of IBS from constipation to diarrhea.  Good luck to you and keep breathing.