Frustrating grilling at work

I've gotten pretty used to the comments, and they've slowed down a lot in the last couple months anyway. But I went down to the cafeteria at work today (alone since my work BFF is out sick) and had this interaction with an employee:

Her: "Wow you look so skinny! How much have you lost?"
Me: "About 130 pounds."
Her [turning to other employee behind her]: "See? I told you it had to be over 100."

[So apparently they were talking about me before I even got to the head of the line...]

Me: "Could I please get some turkey?"
Her: "Sure, you want potatoes?"
Me: "No thanks, just the turkey."
Her: "Is that how you're doing it? No carbs?"
Me: "Pretty much, just aiming for protein first."

Cue awkward smiles as I just try to escape with my turkey.

I'm all for giving people the benefit of the doubt and not assuming people are trying to be rude or offensive BUT that lady was rude and inappropriate.

Fur kids,

Yes that just happened to me at the grocery store. I'm happy to tell people that protein and exercise has been the key. I'm not comfortable to tell just anyone that I had RNY. It's just not their business. Is that how you feel?

Thanks and great job on your huge weight loss. I am so proud of you.

Robin

That's the problem, I always feel like I'm lying by omission if I don't mention the surgery. I have some plausible deniability since more than half of what I lost was before surgery though. Sometimes you just don't have the time to go into the full explanation! Almost all of my friends, family, and coworkers know about surgery, even people from other departments who I only know incidentally. But the cafeteria line wasn't the best place for a chat about my weight and medical history, lol.

They will get used to you. They are used to seeing you obese, so you look quite thin to them.

I think it is more curiosity than trying to be rude. They see you are tiny and want to know how you did it. Maybe they need to lose themselves and want to see if it is something they could replicate. The first lady though was rude. Sounds like something my mother would say- sad face

I tell people about the surgery sometimes but I do not say how much weight I've lost. A decision I made early on. I don't need them doing the math. Only a few close friends know.

I feel similarly - I'm relatively open about my surgery, but sometimes it just isn't the time or place or I'm not in the mood to talk about it. But on the other hand I sometimes feel like I'm lying if I don't give the full truth and perpetuating the idea that you can "do it on your own," when we all know that for most people that isn't true.

A friend of mine who is 6 or 7 years post-RNY recently told me her answer to this problem has been to tell people "I made big life style changes and worked with my doctor." It's completely truthful without going into detail and it encourage people to seek medical help. I've used the line a couple times since and it was perfect!

You should consider coming up with a standard/generic response so you can pull it out as needed. Given your posting history this seems to be issue for you and you might find it helpful to have what you want to say in the back of your mind. Once you are further out from surgery, folks will be used to seeing the thinner you and won't comment anymore.

Best advice is to enjoy your 15 minutes while you can!

Sorry, I misunderstood your post title -- "Frustrating grilling at work." I was going to suggest bringing one of those small gas grills that tailgaters bring to football games. Aside from that, I got nuthin'.