Hi all!

A question or a vent - not sure which? I am 1 lb to goal, almost 11 months out from RNY and down 99lbs. I feel great and want to eventually settle at this weight but assume I may go up 10-15lbs when the honeymoon is over and will always have to work at this. I am at the middle scale for a healthy BMI for the first time. Well - the last week, I have had two different friends tell me I look 'frail'. Now I have talked to my family and my therapist who all tell me that yes I look thin but not frail.

My question is this - I know the weight will re-distribute eventually and this will become the new normal - but how did you deal with those kinds of comments during the process? I did not tell friends and co-workers I had RNY as I am extremely private with my health. My family and my therapist do know of course. I wonder if the other people making those comments knew about my RNY would they still say things like that or is it that they just aren't used to seeing me at a normal weight. I have said I am under a doctors care and at a healthy BMI for the first time in a long time but that does not stop these same people from making comments which is why I did not tell them about my decision for RNY in the first place.

Any good advice of what to say to get them to drop the issue? When I was heavy and unhealthy - no one said I looked unhealthy and they were worried...

I would just say, I have been to the doctor recently and he had no concerns so I am good.

This one!

I think when people don't know the reason, they worry about you. And then when people DO know the reason, they still worry about you. I'm a very open person and I told everyone about my RNY.

There did come a point when even I thought I lost too much; but it wasn't anything I was doing on purpose. My PCP even said "okay, you can stop losing weight now!".

I think it was difficult for people to recognize that I didn't really have a lot of control over it. I knew that eventually I'd find my "set" point and that's exactly what happened. But people still remember and still talk about - even to this day - back almost 7 years ago when I didn't look so good to them!

So, yeah - those comments probably aren't going to go away any time soon. I don't the magic answer - but I surely can relate!

Sandie

"Too skinny" lasts for about a year and then the body fills out an adjusts. I just enjoyed the ride. One of my best memories was shopping for a new skirt and not being able to find one small enough. The smallest I could find in the color and style I wanted was a 4 and it was too big.

I bought it anyway and grew into it in about a year when I had regain. Everyone that knew me well knew about the surgery, and they all knew another relative who had hers about two years before me and had considerable regain.

By year three nobody ever thought I was too skinny.

I would go with the Dr comment....

Reality is they just aren't used to seeing you at a normal weight. I wouldn't even qualify it with being under a Doctor's care.... None of their business. Let them know you are happy about it.

I dug out some old pictures from when I was thin - about 20 years ago. I am now about 20-25 heavier than in those pictures, so I know that this is a good weight for me and that (at best) people are just not used to me at this weight. I have not stopped losing weight, so I definitely am happy to create a cushion in case I do gain some back (although I will be doing alot to prevent that from happening.)

It gets old. I wish people could be as happy as me - I am not only in the honeymoon phase, I am in the 'over the moon' phase.

I always say that my surgeon says that I am perfectly healthy!

I haven't gotten that comment. Mostly people ask if I still want to lose more and make comments like I can stand u Der a clothesline to stay out oeI 3f 2the rain, etc. They are just excited for me. Of xourse, I told everyone on Facebook the night before my surgery that I was having it. I couldn't stand thinking that people.might be whispering behind my back about why I was losing weight.