Friends, French Fries, & a Fight

A high school classmate (from the 1970's--we are in our 50's) and I sometimes meet at a fast food place for coffee.  For the first time ever, my friend decides she's hungry and gets a meal but only eats a couple of her french fries. Beginning of a pathetic conversation:   Me, "so why did you order ffries if you're not going to eat them?" Friend, "cause I like them, just not so many."  Me, "could you cover them up with a napkin then?"  Friend, "I don't see why."  Me, "cause it's bothering me you're not eating them."  Friend, "I thought you said you were soooooo oooover fast food?" She rolls her eyes while covering up her ffries, "okay, there, sheesh."  End of conversation. Why was I fixated on those uneaten ffries!  Why did it make me anxious she wasn't eating them?  Why did she act like my request was a big deal?  Am I one french fry away from failure no matter how many years go by?     

Maybe next time you should meet at a coffee place instead of a fast food place. I would have also thought it was a strange request if you had asked me to do the same thing.

I do not like food in front of me, but only if it is mine. I have to box it up or ask the waiter to take away my plate when I am done but other people's food does not bother me. I know I am not going to reach over and take it.

I certainly understand the hatred of wasting food, even if it's not mine. I don't know why it bothers me so much. Sometimes when I KNOW I need to not eat something on my plate (like rice), I'll slather it in salt, Sriracha, or anything lying around to make it inedible so it doesn't tempt me and I don't feel like I'm wasting something edible.

It may take time for you. But most foods don't bother me anymore. Except really good bread...it needs to be far away from me. 

I leave a lot of food on my plate... Still.. And I had to get used to that even one extra bite would mean trouble.  

As for fries... I don't really care for them that much, but when we are out and my partner get some - I may have a few...maybe 3-4 but most of the time the 445th is cold and nasty... And I really don't care... And wonder how can he eat them... 3-4 once every a few weeks, if any reminds me why I don't eat them... And they better be really good for me to even want them... (none of the "preformed") 

But is really took me a while to get there... 

It is a bad attitude, but I see wasted food as either going to the garbage can, or getting eaten and going into the sewer system.

It no longer bothers me to throw away uneaten food or to see others do so.

This is something I still battle or wonder what to do.  Do I eat 1-2 bites or teach myself self-control.  The other day I went to the apple orcharch with my daughter and her family.  It was different for me not to get or eat kettle corn, donuts and cider.  But I jus****ched them and thought about how hot I was.  Then my husband decided he wanted apples, so we took the grandkids. Again I watched them eat cider and donuts. My husband ate 6 donuts and 4 cups of cider.  I went and played on the hay bales with the kids.   Then......a day later I drove by the cider mill on my way to the state park to go for a walk....and I almost stopped and got me some cider and donuts but I was afraid I would dump, so I just went for my walk.  You would think I would have gotten stronger from resisting, but I must of felt deprived.  I am glad I won that battle.  

Actually studies show that it gets harder and harder to resist. It's because it takes energy for that willpower and when you are slowing spending that energy it gets harder to resist. Get it?

What I learned from that study is to keep food I  don't want to eat out of my sight line. I will not know if there are Oreos in the crockpot or wherever the kid hides them. I can't walk in to the kitchen and look at them every time. 

They eye level shelf in the fridge is mine.

Deb T.

I can not resist kettle corn.

I am usually able to not let food bother me but there are times when something just hits a crave bone in me. I know I have to get away from where I am pronto or I may give in. Seeing the wasted fries may have bothered me or not but I think your friend could have handled her part a little more graciously. Or perhaps you could have used that time to let her know that there can still be moments when food is a problem. We are human and even people who have never had to struggle with weight don't always choose wisely. 

My gf happens to be a smoker trying to quit.  Afterward, I wondered if she would have understood better if I had lit up a cigarette, took one puff, set it down, and let the rest burn away. Like you said, it might have been a moment when staring at fries were staring back at me.