A little Help with my return to work?

Hi Everyone,

    Any advice, help or encouragement would be greatly appreciated.  I return to work tomorrow 7 weeks since surgery, I am a teacher so I was on a natural break from work when I did the surgery.  Typically every summer I lose some weight with just more sleep and relaxation. This time however I will be 31 lbs lighter but I don't really see a big difference.

All the people at school I was close to actually left and won't be returning even my direct boss left.  I'm nervous about questions as well as being slightly disappointed if nobody notices.

Really not sure what to say if people ask, I'm not totally opposed to saying I had the surgery, maybe I am all crazy nervous and nobody will even notice....

Just curious on other's experiences on the big "return to work"

Thanks!

You're in a little more unusual situation than most since you don't see your coworkers for a couple months out of the year, but just remember, even if people don't say something, it doesn't mean they don't notice -- they might just think it's not their place to comment. I work in healthcare and started getting comments after I lost about 35 lbs, but we're a pretty tight-knit department, and everyone knew of my plan for surgery.

I don't have too much advice as I went back to work after 4 weeks and everyone at the office pretty much knew why I had been out. It's going to be your personal preference on how you wish to tell people that may notice your weight loss, from what I have heard at support group as well as reading here is that a simple I'm eating differently seems to do the trick if you want to stay simple. Anyhow, I did want to say good luck and hope that you have an awesome first day back.

Thanks so much, I hope it is an awesome day back as well whether or not anyone says anything!

I am a teacher at a university and had surgery over the winter break (almost 8 weeks off total.) -- I had lost nearly 50 pounds by my return -- but my starting weight was so high that no one really seemed to notice.  I was actually at about 70 pounds lost before every one and their dog started commenting.  I am a private person, so I didn't share my medical status/surgery with most people.  

Hi Kat,

   We're you disappointed nobody commented or relieved when you first returned?  When everyone did start to comment what was your reply?

Thanks!

Well, truthfully, I went into this whole thing worried about comments, but also worried that no one would notice.  I know this sounds crazy, but while I was 344 lbs I never felt that fat.  It really was only pictures of myself that were jarring and made me feel terrible about my appearance.  There was some part of my messed up mind that thought it was possible that I could lose a massive amount of weight and still not have people notice... and so, when I returned to work after losing nearly 50 lbs and no one said much -- well, I guess it was disappointing.  It sort of confirmed my negative thinking.

It was right around the 70 lbs mark that people started to really comment. Looking back, I am certain that people noticed sooner, but they were just unable to contain their comments at that point.  They may have thought I was sick, were afraid to offend me, or just didn't want to be impolite. One of the things that I think made people comment more was that I had bought some clothes that actually fit me at that point -- so the loss was really much more noticeable. Oddly, that was uncomfortable, too! People started telling me how great I looked, asked what I was doing -- and from there -- well it sky-rocketed.When you think about it, it is a lot like saying, "You looked terrible before but now I notice you aren't nearly as offensive!" -- and I really hate it when someone asks, "just exactly how much HAVE you lost??" -- because I imagine them mentally adding up the number possibilities in their head... I politely refuse to answer those type of invasive questions or change the subject.

I have learned to just say "thank you" to the compliments -- even ones that were sort of hurtful -- because I know the intention was intended to be good.  When you go from 344 pounds to 145 in a bit over a year -- well, it is pretty shocking.  That's the weirdest thing about body image: when i was 344 lbs I never felt that big.  Now, at 145 lbs, I never feel that small so that people should be so amazed.  It's a real mind-(you-know-what).  I don't know if I answered your questions but, I hope you get the response that will make you most comfortable when you return.  

YES these are exactly my thoughts!!  I don't think tomorrow I will get many if any comments which will hopefully help me fly under the radar but in the next couple of months and I will hopefully be much smaller I just wondered how to handle it.  

Since you are a professor, did students comment?  did you tell any of them?  

Congrats on your amazing success you lost 200lbs in a year that's amazing!!!

Thanks again for sharing, it really means so much to me!!

I have gone through something similar.  I work from home (in Georgia) but have an office in Massachusetts.  I go there every 3 weeks or so.  Some people I wouldn't see for 2 or 3 trips, so it would be months in between and very noticeable.  People I'm close to knew about my surgery and were/are very supportive and say nice things.  Every once in a while people I don't know well will say, "How did you lose so much weight so fast?" and I tell the truth.  One thing I've learned for sure:  People mostly don't like to comment on weight whether it's nice or not.  Fine by me :)

Good luck upon your return!

Did you enjoy the encounters of people saying "wow what happened to you?" or did you just want to move past it?  Just curious.  I think I like your approach of just saying it, then there is really no further discussion  (unless they are interested in getting it.)

Thanks for the good luck, now what to wear what to wear... : )