5 years out in December...

I am super happy that you are recovering. I lost my sister in law nearly two years ago, she switched addition to drinking and within a year an a half, two rehabs later, and just days past her 36th birthday they found her dead in her apartment, she developed a hemotoma in her esophagus from the vomiting, and acid and had fixed it in the hospital but they warned her it would burst again. It did, she was passed out drunk and choked on her blood.  

She had so much to live for, there were more than 150 people at her funeral, if she only felt the love of one of us she may still be with us. 

Her death (she had RnY and I have a band) has renewed my drive to take care of myself and my band.  We are all wired differently now and after a while (I am 8 years out) we think we are normal, or that we can be normal.  But we cannot and never will be able to, we have a different normal that we need to learn how to live with and adjust to just as anyone else who suffers a different medical issue or traumatic event. 

I wish you continued luck, but honestly the weight will come off when you are happy and in control of your life, take your time dealing with what your addiction stems from, then focus on the weight.  You are beautiful the way you are (even if I have never met you) and being present in our lives is enough.  You are enough.

I am sorry for the loss of your sister-in-law. :( I, too have lost a friend to the effects of alcohol post-RNY...hers from a car crash while drinking and driving--and the long term physical/mental effect of that. 

I have begun attending AA meetings (well, I went to one this week) :) I plan to attend again Thursday. I am trying to shift my attention from desires for alcohol to my family and my health. I'm falling apart. I need to go back to my Dr--haven't been in over a year, close to two...and my hip is killing me (result of too many "fall downs" I'm thinking...when drinking. LOL" :/ 

Thank you for your encouraging words. Now if I can stop eating at night. I eat the majority of my food after 8 at night :(

Ask the doc to run detailed blood work. Vitamins or mineral deficiencies can cause cravings... Alcohol is such an easy "pick me up feel good" . But when my blood work is perfect - it is so easy to not have a drink. 

The longer you don't drink - the better it should be. 

You have already taken the hardest step by saying enough is enough and now I want to get back on track.  Here are some steps I hope will help you. They helped me...  Also, be sure and join the Back On Track Together group link in my signature area.  

Planning/Preparing

Remember when we were preparing for surgery?  How many meetings, classes and such did we attend?  We were told the more prepared we were the better our chances were for success.  And they were right. Go through the house, car and work place and get rid of trigger foods.  Stock up on foods that will keep you on track. I removed every carb/sugar temptation and replaced it with lots of protein, veggies and fruits.  

Journaling

Get back to journaling.  This will help you identify when you feel like eating, stress factors and any triggers in your life.  Once you identify these factors, this will help you put tools in place to keep you from eating.  It became clear I was not taking time for me anymore. I worked my day job and then spent the rest of my time caring for my husband.  It was easy to reach for fast, prepackaged food.  Since I purged my home I have to eat clean as there are no other options LOL

Use a tool to track you're eating and exercise like Getting Started with Health Tracker

Once I started to track ever bite and drink it became clear why I had gained.

Goals/Rewards

Make a list of goals for yourself.  Make them realistic and small.  Some of mine were move more, purge all junk from my home, eat more protein.

Food

In general, a long term post-weight loss surgery eating plan includes foods that are high in protein, and low in fa

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calories, and sugar. Important vitamins and minerals are provided as supplements. (if you had a different surgery adjust this to your food plan)

Water

Water is our Best Friend. I have to say I never went back to pop or any bad drinks, however I was drinking tea like crazy. What is wrong with drinking tea?  I was either using sugar or 3 equals and 3 sweet n lows per 32 ounce glass.  So I was either pushing to be diabetic or get cancer.  I found once I started carrying a bottle of water around 24/7 (yes had one at my bedside) I lost the cravings for the sugar and I KNOW those artificial sweeteners are not good for me. Look I am old and if you add up all the artificial sweeteners I have consumed I am sure I am at the rat in the lab getting cancer threshold

MOVE!

I can't say enough about how key this was for me. The reason I kept my weight off for almost 10 years was no matter what I kept moving.  If I could not go to the gym I would walk. I loved Zumba, bootcamp workouts, lift weights. When I stopped, the weight came on.  So for me I am starting slow to avoid injury by walking and using some of the workouts on my Demand TV.  Find something you love to do and it won't feel like a pain in the *** to do daily.

Support

If it's an option "run" don't walk to a support group.

Keep me posted on how you are doing

Just now got back to this. So much has gone on in my family's lives. 

I have pretty much purged all the sweets from the house...and I'm down to drinking maybe once or twice in a two week period... much better than hammered every night. I am trying to eat more salads, fruits, etc...and protein of course...and am back (ish) in the gym. I just really think I was born without that whole "push hard and it will feel good when you're done" gene. LOL Not a fan...but I'm trying.

I'm hitting the link you had in your signature, so hopefully, we can chat more later. 

Thanks for the reminder of all the things I should be doing--I need to start taking my vitamins again. Last I heard my iron level was 5.