Adolescent wls

WLS is limited to a younger human in need of this type of serious surgical intervention.  For example, if your 16-year-old is no longer mobile, has co-morbidities like Type II, high blood pressure, etc.  Usually, a BMI has to be beyond the 30's range with co-morbidities before intervention would be considered.  No doubt, the decision would involve both a medical doctor and surgeon's call.  However, the 16-year-old's wits end, involvement, interest, and commitment would likely be the most important call of all.  I can say with great certainty, at age 16, having my mother involved in such a personal matter would have been an emotional disaster unless I had been in deep, deep trouble.  Deep trouble can be interrupted quite differently between parent and child thinking it might be wise to leave WLS a decision between the patient and doctor. 

My thoughts exactly.  If her mother is seen as the "food police", trying to force the 16 year old to follow the WLS rules, there will be MAJOR rebellion at the cost of the 16 year old's health and well being.  The teen has to be the one choosing to follow the rules.  She has to be ready for the sacrifices it will take to be successful.

My mother tried to force me to diet when I was a kid. I resented her.  I felt judged, like I would never measure up to her expectations.  I ate in secret or when I was out with friends and my weight just kept climbing.  It would have been more beneficial to me if my mom had helped me find a program, outside of the home, where I was in charge of my own destiny.

This is exactly why I second guessed posting. I had wls in '11, and my daughter saw all that I went through. She and I have been talking about it for over a year. She knows everything in her life will change. She does have co morbidities, and her pcp wants her to get it as well. In our state, a female can get wls at the age of 13.So...Thank you all for caring, I just expected less judgement.

I forgot to mention her bmi is 45.5.

Nobody judged you.  We shared our concerns for a young kid having surgery, just like you asked us to do.  We don't live in your house and you did not explain that she watched you go through surgery and you've been talking about it for a year until just now.  You didn't tell us that her doctor was recommending surgery until just now.  Your original post made it sound like you were "at your wits end" and making the decision for her.  No more info than that.  In the end, you have to make the call.  Many of us were obese teens and understand the mother/daughter dynamic of dieting.  No judgment from me... just my own experience.

If you knew that a 13 year old could have surgery in your state, why did you ask if a 16 year old could?  I'm confused.

I found it at 4 am after I'd posted. I was an obese teen then anorexic, then went to 340 in my 30s.It's been awhile since I've been on this site, and my old profile was deactivated so I just made a new one.Sorry I was not crystal clear in my original post, insomnia and pain from recent hysterectomy...like I said, I feel she's old enough now bc she's lived it with me and asked questions all along the way. Pretty proud of her maturity, really.She's been bullied and beaten up twice bc of her size. I can't take it ANY more and neither can she!

You requested no rudeness, therefore I replied carefully or attempted to, anyway.  I re-read answers only to find personal sharing, direct knowledge, and concern--count me as another confused respondent.  When reading "at wit's end," some of us, like me, may share more than you may care to read.  Please trust it's meant with well-intended words to ponder.  All the best to you and yours.

No one was anything but caring toward you. You asked, and people put forth a lot of effort to be kind and helpful. I do not know where you are seeing negativity. 

There was no judgment. Just concern. Everyone here has dealt with obesity but not many of us have dealt with an obese teen. You will find the right path and everyone will be here to support you and her. It's a question not many of us have had to ask ourselves. 

I know my surgeon's office has done some teens... they have  special young peoples support group... His wife (who also works in the office) said those who have had family members or parents who had surgery did better. Probably because they did have a better understanding... and better support from people *****ally understood.

That's a coincidence, one of the surgeons' in my office wife (RN) works there too. In fact she's the one you get when you have questions or concerns, to decide what's next!