Trying To Keep My Head In Check With My Changing Body

I'm getting to a point in my weight loss where I'm starting to see the old skinny me start to emerge.  It's very exciting.  But I'm also noticing some distorted thinking going on in my head as well.  No doubt this is normal since I'm going through so many physical changes, but I need to start working on getting it in check.

These are unattractive, unappealing qualities that I don't like.  Such as constantly looking in the mirror.  I used to avoid any reflection of myself at all costs.  Now I can't even walk by a window on the way to the bathroom without checking myself out.  It is exciting to see a new me being unveiled more and more each day, but I don't want to let vanity overcome me.  Or become overly obsessed with my new look but I'm afraid it's taking over.  Lately I find I can't stay focused on even a casual conversation with co-workers, as my mind is wandering with things like what I'm going to have for lunch, if this outfit still fits right, why hasn't so-n-so mentioned anything about my weight loss yet, etc.  Then I remember I'm in a conversation with good people that I care about, and for goodness sake try to get it through your head that not everything is about me!  

Last weekend I finally had to break down and buy some new things, and I treated myself to new bras (needed them BADLY!), a few new blouses, and all new make-up.  I came to work today thinking I look so great! Everyone is going to be so complimentary!  But nobody said a word about my new face, clothes or the fact that my boobs are no longer scraping on the floor when I walk.  And I let it bum me out... I felt kinda gipped.  So, I took a picture of myself, and sure enough... what I saw in the camera (although a significant change from where I started) was not the image I had in my head of how great I thought I looked today.  Yes, I've lost more than 80 pounds, but the picture reminded me I still have 50+ more to go.  So, I put myself in check.  And now (because I'm still obsessed with it, I'm writing to you poor people about it - sorry).  

Anyway, this was just an honesty check.  Nobody likes a stuck-up skinny girl... and I promise myself (and you) I will NOT let that happen!

I think people who see you everyday don't notice as much as someone who hasn't seen you in a while.  The people I work with never say anything, like you I've lost 80 pounds.  When I go to the office in San Luis Obispo people notice. 

I still see myself as heavy

You have a right to be proud of your amazing accomplishment.  You have a right to appreciate and love how you look today.  You have a right to look at yourself in the mirror and admire all of your hard work.  You have a right to feel good about you!  Enjoy.  You've earned it.

What you don't want to do is link your sense of accomplishment to the positive comments of others.  There are many reasons why others may or may not remark upon your progress.  The majority of those have to do with the other person, not you.  Don't let their stuff influence how you feel about yourself and your progress.

That is not a stuck up skinny girl.  That is a skinny girl that is, and should be, proud of her hard work.

"What you don't want to do is link your sense of accomplishment to the positive comments of others.   There are many reasons why others may or may not remark upon your progress.  The majority of those have to do with the other person, not you.  Don't let their stuff influence how you feel about yourself and your progress."

This is excellent advice, and a good mantra to repeat to myself when I feel this way.  It *has* been something that nags at me... why some people I know well have not said a word about my progress, even though others are mentioning it and talking about it with me in their presence.  I tend to lean towards the "well, she doesn't approve of my decision" thoughts, thereby changing my attitude towards her.  In reality, I may never know why she has kept quiet from day one and has chosen not to join the "supportive" band wagon here at work.  

Thanks again for the great advice!

I find that I am so obsessed with this weight loss journey that I can barely think of anything else. I am trying to keep from this being the only thing I talk about with my family... I am not perfect, sometimes I see my husband's eyes glazing. 

But, I am also afraid that if I am not obsessive right now, I could easily fall off the wagon. So, for right now, I am obsessed, period.

I try very hard not to talk about my wls at work because I really don't think it is fair to put people on the spot, thinking they have to say something positive. And, plus I definitely don't want to hear anything negative!!

I know I am looking differently. Hey, I felt collarbones the other day. They are not visible to the naked eye yet but I felt them!! I also have such a poor body image, I don't know if I will ever be able to think of myself as thin (when I get there). 

I am a work in progress. And, I have to learn to accept me. 

Yes!  I'm totally obsessed with my work on this journey as well.  It consumes my every thought and every moment of the day.  And that's all part of how I need to keep it in check.  Especially at work.  

My Mom and my best friend have been so sweet and they let me go on and on with my one-track mind, but I have to remember to stop and change tracks after a quick update.  The world does not revolve around my journey.  (Just me!)

Great post! This is a ride for sure, full of ups and downs and so many emotions.

Many people do not comment on weight loss because it can be considered rude. ("Wow- you were a fat pig before, but now you look GREAT!")

You are doing an excellent job. Keep focusing on your health. The mental part takes a bit longer than the weight loss for most of us. I think it took a good 3 years for the mental side to calm down for me and I could really see myself as others do.

Along the weight loss journey, you will definitely fluctuate with self-image and positive/negative thoughts towards your appearance. During my journey, it changed a lot! As you're losing weight, there is nothing wrong with gaining confidence. Each little thing you do through the day helps build your confidence. Taking your vitamins. Choosing healthy foods. Exercising. Buying new clothes (because you deserve it!). So there is nothing wrong with becoming fixated on your own health and the progress you are making. It takes a lot of thought every day that we have to put in, so its normal to become a little obsessed. While other posts are right, and we don't want to focus on the comments others give, enjoy them and know, you will have a lot of people throughout this process that complement you along the way! And congrats on the 80 pounds! 

How know what is going through other peoples mind.  They may have other stressors or family problems going on at that time.  Just keep it up and you will get positive comments.  You can probably look at a sunset 50 times and not notice a difference and then the next it is extraordinary.  You are awesome.  What you think of yourself and your accomplishments are what is important.