What do you say when people ask how you've lost weight?

I'm still struggling with this, even though we covered it in class several times.  Part of me wants to blurt out about my whole journey, including the surgery - but most of the time I just want to give a short answer, which is usually "well, I'm trying high protein and low carbs and exercising more...", and then it's easily dropped.  Although that statement is true, I hate that inside I feel like I'm lying.

I'm just now getting to a stage where random acquaintances are starting to ask, so I need to come to terms with this.  Yesterday, my nail lady noticed for the first time asked how I'm doing it.  Even though I had an hour to explain the whole process truthfully, I just found I didn't want to.

There are some people that I've made the decision never to tell.  My judgmental sis, my aunt (who will tell tell sis and everyone she knows - and will not be supportive), my neighbors (because I don't care about not telling the truth to them)...etc.

There are a handful of wonderful, supportive people who are in the trenches with me every day with this and I know I could not do it without them.

There are some that I have to tell, because I know someone else that I have told will tell them, and I don't want to be caught in a lie.  

I hate the feeling of the deception.  I'm a TERRIBLE liar.  And I'm terrified of being caught in said "lie".

Anyway... rambling here.  How do you know when to spill it all, and when to just say you've worked hard at it.  And... do you have that awful feeling of deception when you don't 'tell all'???

When I first lost with the lap-band it was quick, and very noticeable.  At first I hid what I was doing.  I was embarrassed, ashamed that I had gotten so big I had to turn to surgery.  After a while I just realized that it didn't matter.  Why was I hiding it from people?  To spare their feelings?  No.  But if it was to spare mine that had to stop cause I deserved to be proud.  So I would state very simply "weight loss surgery".  If they asked what type, I would tell them.  I kept it simple, to the point.  If they brought up reasons to put it down I would say "Better than being fat and dead!" and that always shut them up.

I usually trust my gut instinct (no pun intended ) in determining who to tell the whole story to or not.  For what it's worth, I don't feel like telling someone you're eating less, concentrating on proteins and lower carbs is a lie.  That is what you're doing, you just have the additional help of this wonderful tool to help you be successful!

I went into a gas station where I regularly shop the other day.  The lady at the counter said WOW, you have lost a lot of weight!  I smiled and told her thanks for noticing.  She asked me if I had went on one of those low carb diets or something.  I said, yeah, something like that.  And exercise.  It is not entirely untrue.  But, I do struggle with the lie.  I know that it is kind of a lie.  But, I feel that the people are the closest to me are the ones that matter.  And for me, they all know.  I am still proud of my weight loss.  Most of my coworkers also know.  My problem are the constant questions...is that all you are going to eat?  What do you eat every day?  Aren't you losing too much weight?  OR the constant offers of food!  You have lost so much weight, this brownie (cake, roll, donut, whatever) won't make a difference.  I try to explain that I cannot eat sugar like that, but it doesn't work in some cases.  Wishing you luck.  

I  tell añyone who asks! I am a terrible liar and I feel that to imply to someone that they too can lose 160 pounds and keep it off by exercise and low carb eating alone is a lie. Besides so many people know weight loss horror stories that I want to be proof that weight loss surgery is a valuable life saving option. And I don't want any other obese people to feel that they could lose massive amounts of weight if they only worked harder. Just my two cents worth!

My response generally depends on who I am speaking with, and in what venue.  For friends and trusted collegues, I always tell them that I had RNY.  I have never had someone not be supportive.  If someone I don't know very well asks, or someone I know asks in a public setting or a group, I generally tell them "Move more, eat less.  Who knew?"  Then I might circle around and let the person I know what the whole story is.  I am generally an over sharer about all things health related (comes from all of my years in health care), so I have no problem telling most people about my surgery and answering any questions they might have.

I told a few people at work because I am having a different medical issue and some folks were worried that was why I was having surgery.  I didn't tell everyone though, only those few who I feel close to and I told them I wasn't telling everyone so I would appreciate them not running their mouths.  Anyway, I have now lost 50+ pounds since my pre op diet, and people are starting to notice.  Now I work in security so my integrity not only means a lot to me but it's also my carrier, so I had to think long and hard on how I was going to answer the dreaded question, "how are you losing it" and this is what I came up with, I am eating way less Calories, more protein, no/low Carbs and no sugar, I also go on a 4mile walk monday - friday.  Now none of this is a lie, I really am eating way less calories, more protein, no/low Carbs and as little sugar as possible, I also work out.  What I am doing is leaving out that I have a new tool helping me to eat this way, but let's face it, if we wanted to we could eat more calories, more carbs and more sugar if we just chose to eat the wrong foods, so is it ok to leave out the tool?  Absolutely!  Now, don't get me wrong, If a heavy set person asked me how I did it, I would tell them, this way they could aske more questions and possibly turn their life around.  Good Luck with your weighloss journey!!!

You could say' I eat smaller portions and cut out junk. Not a lie. I was never ever ashamed I had the surgery so I pretty much blurt it all.........if I feel that person could use the surgery too.

Tell either the whole truth or nothing at all -- everything in between is a lie.  Telling someone you lost it by eating less and exercising more is like telling someone you drove to Hawaii because that's how you got to the airport.

However, if you don't like the principled argument I'm also a pragmatist.  People are just plain going to figure it out anyways.  Almost nobody out there loses weight at bariatric surgery speed by "doing it the old fashioned way" and people are not dumb, especially if they see you eating half a cup of mushy food on a regular basis.

As far as the 'tell nothing at all' thing - someone recently did that to me by making a very funny joke.  I told him I noticed his weightloss and that he looked great.  He thanked me and said "cocaine... who knew???"!  I laughed (knowing he was kidding, of course) and the subject was changed.  Wonder if I could pull that off?  LOL