Hurt... And sad life never changes (venting)

I've lost a 100% of my excess weight and am right now am ten pounds or so below my own personal goal and twenty five pounds below my dr's goal. So needless to say in pretty proud of myself. There is a person in my life who has always been very fit and in fact use to do fitness competitions and the like. I don't want to go into my personal relationship with them because I think it's not really practical for people to make a judgement call about another person based on a couple of paragraphs of how I'm feeling right now but back to the story.

The person has made several remarks (not about me personally but in an over all general manner) about how fat people are sloppy and lazy and why don't they just get off their ass and do something about it. He knows I have been very heavy in the past and knows I had surgery to help correct it and has never personally criticized me so am I being way too sensitive about this? 

I know I have a tough time with judgemental statements of any kind. The ones directed at me personally bother me less than hearing something said about someone else. I have such a hard time listening and wondering if those people ever think how they are hurting someone. So I'm really trying not to take this guys thoughtless remarks to heart but I'm struggling. 

I wish there was just some way to show others what this journey has been like.

I do not thnk you are being too sensitive.  Your friend is showing his/her ugly side.

I am upset by people's mean and judgemental attitudes about weight.  I am also troubled to catch myself having mean and judgemental thoughts about others, sometimes even regarding their weight!   I feel that one silver lining to having been overweight (a silver lining that has come at a high price over a lifetime) is that I know I must be more compassionate and empathetic to people, no matter what their cir****tances.  Everyone has a difficult road.

I'm obviously sensitive about the issue and therefore have a hard time trying to figure out when I'm just being crazy and when I should honestly be indignant. Though to be honest I'm pretty much the least confrontational person on the face of the planet so even when something really bothers me it's hard for me to say so especially to the person directly. 

I have tried to look at things from both points of view each time but I'm finding it harder to not get upset hearing those kinds of statements from people. The ones that get me the most are things like 

"They know what to do they are just too fat and lazy to do it" 

that drives me crazy! I'm at my goal weight so it's unlikely that I'm going to be dealing with that sort of statement but I can't hear it without cringing. I think hitting my goal didn't fix the years of hurt that are left over. 

I think we all have areas in our lives where we have struggled I just don't understand why people can't understand that.

or maybe I should just take some time and think about why this bothers me so much

either way thanks for letting me vent 

Everyone has ugly thoughts once in a while. Some of us realize they are ugly, and keep them to ourselves. Others don't recognize them as ugly and hurtful, and blurt them out.

You can confront people who say such remarks, but in my experience it very seldom makes an impact. The ugly side of people is emotional, and it's hard to change an emotional reaction based on rational arguments.

Of course, sometimes we feel so strongly about something that we need to speak up anyway. He'll still feel that obese people are sloppy and lazy, but you might feel better setting him straight.

You state this person knows your past and has made several remarks about fat people being sloppy and lazy.  You are asking an obesity forum if you are being too sensitive to these remarks, but yet don't want us to make a judgement call about it?  I will respect your request, but will have to pass on answering then.  

Fair enough..... As I said maybe I need to think about all this as well my reaction to them as well as my interactions with them.  I believe strongly in personal accountability so I'm willing to take my share. Sometimes it's good to vent though and even when someone is displaying an ugly stereotyped attitude I am hesitant to invite judgement upon them based on my hurt feelings or a single aspect of their personality. However I appreciate having people who'll listen even when all I'm truly looking for is an outlet for silly frustration.

I would probably say something like "It's not that easy" but there really is no point arguing with an asshole. I definitely would not be friends with someone like that.

That being said, I find myself very angry at people I know who are so unhealthy and do nothing about it. Their health affects not only them, but their loved ones who are forced to be caretakers when they become incapacitated.

My best friend had a stroke last weekend at the age of 46. I have been nagging him for years to take care of his health. He has high blood pressure and does not take care of it (he takes his bp meds "sometimes" and does no****ch what he eats and does not exercise). He will have a long recovery. I hope he has learned his lesson but who knows. No one in his family ever had a stroke before so he did not think it could ever happen to him. I come from a long line of unhealthy family members so strokes and heart attacks have been the norm. He has young children. 

My daughter and I just got fitbits. I have maintained my weight with no problem, but I know I need to be more active to stay healthy. I am making a promise to my kids to take better care of myself.

I guess I needed to vent.

You know I have to say this ,   Your statement  im sure helps a lot of people ,  you are showing people your journey  your showing people  your heart and how it feels ,   I believe people who put others down  really do it because they  are the ones who have a problem   there insecure  and not happy  so  they need to  make someone else feel bad to equal there own feelings ,     You  always should look in a mirror and smile  God made one of you ...   one person who has the heart to actually feel both happiness and sadness ,  no one has the right in this world to ever make you sad,   Your beautiful no matter how much you weight or don't weight ,    ugly is the person who makes another person feel less then they should ,   people should actually feel sympathy for those who  remark to  down another persons beauty  .......  because deep down that person  is the one who maybe hurting and I remember my own mom used to say this ,  " Sometimes people hurt the ones they love the most"  because they hurt themselves  and don't realize what they do to  others ,     Your a beautiful person inside and out never forget that  no matter what happens in your life  sending you blessings

Well, I'm pretty intolerant of comments like this -- and yes, I've heard them.  I've never been lazy -- and at 344 pounds I was even less lazy because everything took a lot more effort. 

I guess I'm confrontational because I'd ask plainly if the description of "sloppy and lazy" applied to me.  Usually you'll then get some back-peddling response that "you did something about it" or that for some reason you are different -- but I don't let them out of the noose. I then explain that I'm exactly the same person and that it's pretty offensive to say something like that given my history -- and let them swing from the rope they brought to the party.  Screw that -- people say crap like that because we fatties allow it -- we've learned that we somehow "deserve" to be treated disrespectfully.  What crap that it even sticks around after the fat is gone!!  

It isn't a moral failure to be fat.  It's just a body type -- one that was unhealthy for me -- but said little about my character or worth. The same can't be said of those who make comments like that -- especially to someone who has been obese.  If nothing else, it shows a complete lack of sensitivity and empathy.

In my opinion, that deserves to be lambasted. If not for yourself, for your fellow fatties still visible to the world. 

This. this. and more this. Are you sure I didn't write this for you?