How much weight do I put into people's remarks about being too thin.

CerealKiller Kat71
on 5/8/15 6:18 am
RNY on 12/31/13

I just wanted to say that I hope this didn't bother you -- because sometimes people think they are being complimentary saying crap like this.  My Mother-in-law who is all of 120 lbs soaking wet and wearing a set of weights has said many times that I have lost enough... you're wasting away... you are going to make yourself sick.  I couldn't understand it.  I mean, she was saying this when I still weighed 180.  Unless you're 6'2", it's unlikely you are wasting away at 180 pounds.  

Then the last time we were out, I noticed that she was trying to copy how little I was eating.  She suddenly bursts out, "Your weight loss is ruining it for everyone!!" -- You see, I was the fat person at functions that made everyone else feel better.  No matter what, everyone could look at me and say, "well at least I am not that fat!" and feel better about themselves.  

People don't like when you stop being that person.  

"What you eat in private, you wear in public." --- Kat

iloveravens
on 5/8/15 6:33 am
RNY on 08/13/14

Thank you Kat.  I won't let it bother me.  I just hope it doesn't become a habit because I will have to say something.  You'd never say to someone "Whoa, you look super fat!" when they arrive from the airport.  Great post.  "People don't like when you stop being that person." So true.

Lanie; Age: 43; Surgery Date (VSG): 8/12/14 w/complications resulting in RNY next day;

Height: 5' 6" SW: 249 Comfort Zone: 135-140 CW: 138 (10/13/17)

M1: -25 lbs M2: -12 M3: -13 M4: -7 M5: -11 M6: -10 M7: -7 M8: -7 M9: -3 M10: -8 M11: -4 M12: -4

5K PR - 24:15 (4/23/16) First 10K - 53:30 (10/18/15)

Maria27
on 5/8/15 6:00 am - Chicago, IL
RNY on 03/17/15

Ignore them completely. For most people "you're too thin" really means "you're thinner than me now, and I don't like it." The fact that people think that it is even ok to make such comments about someone else's weight is a problem in our culture. It is so rude to comment on anyone's weight beyond, "I see you lost weight, you look good."

Height: 5'5" HW: 290 Consultation Weight: 276 SW: 257 CW: 132

CerealKiller Kat71
on 5/8/15 6:04 am
RNY on 12/31/13

I want to add to the "ignore" them column.  Everyone here is correct.  Americans have a very inflated notion of healthy weights -- because so many of us are fat.  Additionally, people don't like change ...  You're at a healthy BMI -- unless you go under 18, I would ignore the comments or kindly tell people that they aren't appreciated.  

"What you eat in private, you wear in public." --- Kat

cheapskate
on 5/8/15 6:41 am
RNY on 03/30/15

I would giveit asmuch weight as you did when they told tou to lose.... MYOB! 

Laura in Texas
on 5/8/15 11:28 am

At 16 months out, you are fine. In my 8 years here in the bariatric community, I can probably count on one hand the number of people who are truly too thin by the 3 year mark. At 6.5 years out, many people I know in real life who had surgery the same time as me are battling big regains. My BMI is close to yours and I am referred to as "thin" but never "too thin". People are used to me at this weight now.

Thank them for their concern and tell them your doctor is keeping an eye on you.

Laura in Texas

53 years old; 5'7" tall; HW: 339 (BMI=53); GW: 140 CW: 170 (BMI=27)

RNY: 09-17-08 Dr. Garth Davis

brachioplasty: 12-18-09 Dr. Wainwright; lbl/bl: 06-28-11 Dr. LoMonaco

"May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears."

RNY on 03/11/15

About 10 years ago and pre-WLS I lost 80 pounds and was down around 150. I had a hard time with all the comments and I felt like my entire office building was monitoring my progress. I remember one lady coming up to me in a crowded room at work and loudly asking "what are you doing to lose all the weight???" I replied that I was watching my diet closely and exercising a lot. Apparently I didn't offer up the miracle cure she was looking for because she just rolled her eyes at me, spun around and went off in a huff.

On the other end of the spectrum, the nicest comment came from a Starbuck's barista that hadn't seen me for a few months. She gave me a warm smile and said "Your looking really healthy." I loved that her comment acknowledged my improved health without focussing specifically on my weight.

            

angel91e
on 5/8/15 8:34 pm
RNY on 01/15/14

Thank you everyone for all the reassurance.....

It was just what I needed to balance out the crazy comments I have been getting. I dropped another couple pounds today and instead of being stressed about it I can now celebrate it as the victory that it truly is. I finally have my bounce back room and that makes me much more hopeful for being successful long term. I would love to even get a few more pounds down so that I eventually start maintenance close to the bottom end of normal so that I have the biggest cushion possible. 

On another note I just realized that with my pre-op diet I have now officially lost over a 100 pounds from my highest weight! I never thought I would ever manage that. I guess it's time to post an official before and after. I will start a new thread for that but I wanted to make sure everyone knew how much I've always appreciated the support I have gotten here.

Angel

HW/217 1st apt/202 SW/191 CW/115

1st goal:140 @9months

2nd goal:130 @11months

3rd goal:115 @16months  

    

Doingrightin2015
on 5/9/15 5:22 am
RNY on 03/10/15

When I had lost 108 lbs doing ww  I had others tell me that I got to thin. No I did not. I was still 11 lbs from a healthy bmi!!!! When my nephew lost 200 lbs in a year from wls my sister said he looked to thin. I have already told those close to me not to tell me that when I lose all my weight with my wls. That my body will take time to adjust..that I will be fine and I too want to lose down below the high end of normal bmi so I can have a cushion for a little regain. I think it takes a little time for your body to adjust to the loss to look it's best!!

So, when I hear those comments I will say I am in a normal bmi range and my body will catch up to the loss and readjust...I will be fine thank you!

 

Doingitright2015

HW in life 282 HW265 at start SW 244 CW170

 

 

 

 

 

 

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