the big question, am I failing? 1yr 8m

Would love to hear from you if you have had a similar story.

I just turned 26. I had RNY august 2013. My heaviest weight 297lbs, my lightest weight 147lbs October 2014, my current weight 155-159lbs. So yes from October to now I've experienced gaining weight which is causing some depression and self confidence issues.  I might should add that I got married in October and I had been losing very little lbs in the months leading to October,  I hag not yet "stopped" losing weight.  I wish I had documented better, but I don't think I was 147 for a long period of time.  Anyways.  My surgeon had asked me at my 1yr check up if I had experienced any gains at that point. And at that point I hadn't.  He said to expect 10-15 lbs gain after my weight stopped dropping. I was like. ...ookkkaay. not really happy to hear that.  But I wasn't about to roll over and give up.  Now that I have gained I hate it.  I'm not in work out overdrive like maybe I should be?  I'm conflicted.  I'm confused.  I don't know what to do.  I want to maintain a healthy weight.  And I think most of us gastric bypass patients have some of the same issues... old eating habits trying to return,  slacking on exercise, etc. I don't want to exercise like a maniac.  I want to be normally active,  exercise and feel good about it,  continue to do things I wasnt able to do before without hurting.  But I've never been really "awesome" at a work out routine.  I enjoy walking,  jogging,  I do cardio videos,  and im now just starting to explore yoga.  I can honestly say that if I knew I was going to maintain this weight I might be totally okay with it. I feel great.  But thinking that gaining could happen is freaking me Out! I've worked really hard to change!  Why can't I just maintain! ? I cook healthy,  I hardly ever eat out,  never fast food.  Is there anyone else that feels this way? Am I failing?  Am I just going to be another statistic that lost just to gain back?  Im not trying to fail,  I'm still doing the things I've learned but still see the gain. ... it's scary.  Is it true that most people gain back this 10ish lbs after hitting bottom weight?  I think I'm going to go crazy.  I'm literally stepping on the scale sometimes more than 1x a day since Ive seen gain.  It's been a hard devastation that I can't be okay with.  I can't accept it. This has been to hard and felt so good to be a healthy weight.  I don't want to let this go, ever. 

Exercise is really only about 15% of weight loss  success.  What you are eating, and how much, is what really matters.  We could troubleshoot for you if you let us know what exactly you are eating.  

The biggest culprits in weight gain are starchy carbs (bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, crackers, sugar, etc.) If you stay with eating protein first and veggies, limiting fruit to one serving per day and eliminating starchy carbs you will lose weight. 

Watch your portion sizes.  It's easy to let the portion sizes creep up on us.  I am almost 5 years out and still measure my portion sizes out.  I know that I can't trust myself to eyeball and guess.  I usually eat every 3 or 4 hours.  I keep the calories at 200-300 per meal.  I rarely eat more than 1 cup to 1 1/2 of food at one time.  I measure it out and stop eating.  I am still within 5 pounds of my lowest weight.  I think most people expect bounce back weight, but it is not true with all WLS patients.  10 pounds is what I've always heard for rebound weight.  You need to be vigilant with the rules to ensure you don't gain more.

Don't drink with your meals. This makes it possible to eat more food.  Wait 30 minutes after you eat to begin drinking.  Don't eat until you feel "full".  Many of us have used that "full feeling" as an emotional crutch.  Eat what you measure and stop.  You have control of what you put in your mouth. 

Drink a MINIMUM of 64 ounces fluid daily.  I drink 120 ounces to feel good.  Sometimes our brains register thirst as hunger.  Try drinking a no calorie beverage before you grab something to eat.  Wait 20 minutes to see if you are still hungry.

Regain happens.  You have all the tools in your arsenal to lose that weight again.  You can do this!

No, you are not 'failing'. How tall are you? is 155-159 a healthy weight range for you? are you happy at this weight? I love the quote I read that said something like our goal weight should be something we can easily maintain while living the life we want to live.

I don't believe in automatic bounce back weight. I never had it and I am 6.5 years out. I am diligent abou****ching what I eat. I will fight tooth and nail not to gain.

Many of us here live active lifestyles without formal exercise. It is really only a small part of the equation. How much and what we eat is far more important.

Watch your portion sizes or you could easily gain more. Eating more is easy to do the further we get out. 

I'm 5'6", ideal for my height is 154 or less to have a bmi of 24.9. 155 lbs puts me in that over weight category again.  147 lbs might not sound small to most but with my frame it was plenty small.  I remember looking down in my wedding dress at my very flat chest. I went from a DD cup size down to loose skin and nothing,  hardly B's. I will say that the weight gain I most undoubtedly see in my chest.  My clothes feel the same elsewhere. I could be happy at this weight if I can maintain it like you said.  I fear the scale right now.  This is new since surgery it was always down.  I am determined to do better. I haven't considered until right now that I may also be gaining a little bit of strength/ muscle. But I'm still not going to ignore this.  I stopped weighing my food and I really need to get that in check.  I have been a little lenient on sweets. Not honey buns!  However I love a bite of dark chocolate some days.  I eat every few hours,  that ends up about 5 times a day. A typical day for me would consist of a breakfast shake, snacks: oatmeal,  Greek yogurt,  banana,  hummus and carrots, my lunch would be leftover dinner - tomorrow that will be steamed cabbage with turkey keilbasha, and tomorrow for dinner I will have a chicken&pineapple crock pot meal over brown rice.  

I only drink water and A couple of cups of coffee a day.  sometimes I drink trop 50 orange juice,  adding a little water to that as well.  I don't eat and drink at the same time.  I have before and I actually hated it because it makes me feel bloated for hours without eating more than usual. It's just uncomfortable.  I think what I'm going to do is weigh all my meals and write everything down again. I would use my fitness pal by it's hard to track my home made meals which is why I strayed from it.  I feel like I really don't eat bad. In comparison to how I use to eat I've detoxed for sure.  I know I don't avoid carbs completely,  but I always choose wheat products and whole grains and some weeks I eat salads often to cut back on the other stuff.  This is just never going to be easy.  I really can envy someone who doesn't have to try.  And I've spoken with people that admit it.  Non bariatric patients.  Man oh man I wi**** was easy for us all.  I'm not going to give up.  I'm going to step up.  

The food sample you gave is a little high in carbs: brown rice, oatmeal, a banana, orange juice, and even the yogurt (but at least it has protein).  Personally, my intake would only have the Greek yogurt (I have it every day) and ONE of the rice, banana, oatmeal, or juice.  Even though they are "good carbs", having four of those in one day (I didn't include the OJ) puts your carb level over 100 just in those 4 items (assuming a typical serving size of oatmeal and HALF a cup of rice instead of a full cup).  Then, add a few more carbs in the hummus and the pineapple... that is a lot of carbs.  They sometimes "hide" (people often don't think of bananas as high carb, but they are: 25g in a medium banana) and add up to more than we expect.

At the risk of making you feel worse (which is not my intent), and at the risk of incurring the ire of those who try to hand pat and tell people that when the scale isn't moving, they might be losing weight but adding muscle... most women do NOT gain enough muscle to have it significantly increase their weight.  So unless you are actively working on being a female body builder, that isn't likely the cause of the weight gain.

I understand the psychological impact of having undergone WLS and then having the weight creep back up (even if it is just a few pounds) to the "overweight" mark (my normal maintenance weight is right at the normal/overweight line.  Remember, though, that the BMI is nothing but a height/weight ratio.  It does not take into consideration muscle or bone mass, or any atypical body characteristics (large bust, muscular legs, large muscular butt).  Body fat percentage is a much better indicator of being at a healthy weight.

You are correct, though, that this path is not ever easy.  When it GETS easy is when people end up having regain.  It is unfortunate, but those of us who have had weight issues for most of our lives still have to remain very vigilant abou****ching what we eat even after WLS.

The good news, though, is that you still have an advantage that you didn't have pre-surgery!

Lora

Isn't that a bummer. So basically everything I eat is too high in carbs. I'm going to be more aware of that and switch up my intake. what is your typical daily diet? 

For me bounceback regain was very real.  I gained at 30 months out and had not changed anything.  The only way I control my weight is making sure that I do not eat more calories than I burn.  I don't really do any thing with carbs, high protein, or giving up certain foods anymore.  I just weigh every morning and if I have gained I start working on getting it off immediately.

This is also my approach to maintenance.

You're in an interesting part of your WLS life. The weight went down as far as it's going. No more amazing numbers going down. This isn't failing. It's just the process. I found a weight and stayed within that weight by 10 pounds for 3 years. It was the most amazing thing. Moving in a ways that I liked and eating easily, I found a sweet spot called maintenance . It's a great place. I'm headed back that way.

Good luck

Deb T. 

I'm really glad you posted this.  I've not been on this site in a little while and I've gained, too.  My highest was 303.  My lowest was 158.  I am now 172.  I had a baby a year ago, but I'm not blaming the gain on her.  It's totally on me.  I'm back to tracking my food, as of this morning, and now that the weather has broken in Michigan I'm walking more.  I, too, do not want to let this go.